Papa

I know that this post is way overdue. Blame my lack of sleep for my inability to put into words what my heart wants to say. But at least I called to greet you a "Happy Father's Day!" You thanked me for the shirts that Mama bought which she passed on as coming from us. Bless her!

I do not know if I ever said thank you enough for being the Papa that you are. To many you may be an enigma but to us you are an open book. I know that the past year have been a struggle for you. We wished we could do more but we can only give you our understanding and love. It is not always easy. You do get into our nerves sometimes but we understand what you are going through and we try not to add to it. I am glad that you and Mama taught us from an early age to be dependable and independent adults. My siblings and I have bonded into dealing with our individual problems the best that we can without turning to you when we know that you too are facing your own problems. Like you always told us, we relied on each other during those times and we came out of it alright. As long as we have each other other we can weather whatever it is that will come our way. Don't worry it turned out okay, Mama is okay and you it seems are turning out okay as well. Life could not be better.

Things were not always rosy. I resented the fact that your political life took you away from us in so many occasions. I was angry that you had to leave after Camille's kindergarten graduation and Nicco's grade school graduation and didn't join us for dinner because you had to attend a meeting. I was mad that you missed out on so many things in our lives because you had to take care of other things. I also resented the fact that we bore the brunt of your frustration with the problems that was plaguing government. It felt like we were not only carrying our own problems on our shoulders but we were carrying the problems of the entire province as well. Basically, I was mad that we would have to share you now with your constituents when all these times we had your undivided attention. Maybe I was just jealous that is why I felt that way. But eventually I understood and accepted this as part of what is now our reality. This life that you have embarked upon also taught us to be aware of the conditions and struggles of other people outside our secured and comfortable world. It opened our eyes to the world beyond what we have been accustomed to and to count ourselves lucky. Being apolitical in our family was just not possible when you read 5 newspapers daily and you had to have your weekly supply of Time and Newsweek Magazine and you encouraged us to be voracious readers as well. The current political situation was discussed over dinner and I vividly recall that time during the EDSA Revolution when we would listen intently at the radio on what was happening in Manila and you explaining to us in a manner that our young minds will be able to comprehend. You told me that "I should be happy that I grew up in the countryside!" I didn't think of it much before but being far away from home, I look back at those times and it gets me through my homesickness. You ingrained in us that we have a responsibility to be good citizens and good people and we have our own share in making our lives as well as the lives of others better. We carry that awareness up to this day.

People may have an impression of you as someone strict and rigid. Yes, you were strict. We had to be home at a specific time especially during school days. We had to be home at the time we were told to be home and to call in case we would be late. We had to let you know who we are with and where we are going. It was not because you wanted to control our lives but I believe knowing our whereabouts was the middle ground between you allowing us to live our lives the way that we should live it and easing up your worries. In times that we fall off the wagon and we disobey those rules you would call our attention to it. Sometimes it became annoying since you have the penchant of saying it over and over again. And yes it is still annoying up to this day. But we have to accept that because that is who you are. We have had our share of being punished but what sets you apart is the fact that you explain to us why we were punished. At least we know that we were not being punished for nothing. After making us cry you would be the first one to give us a hug and comfort us.

You were involved in our lives but you never meddled. Inspite of the busy schedules that you and Mama followed, you make it a point that we have dinner together and that weekends are spent with family. I enjoyed our late night runs to get barbecue or fruits or whatever it is that you are craving. I also remember how you would indulge us when we want to take a drive the morning after a typhoon. How you tried to play "word factory" with us not knowing the rules. Tell stories of your own childhood when there was a power outage and we would sit outside our porch underneath the bright moon. These are the memories that we will treasure forever not the material things. You are very generous with gifts but more than the material things I believe we appreciate more the life lessons that you have shared with us and the outstanding example that you have shown.

Not a lot of people know that you are a prankster. There have been so many instances that we have been at the receiving end of it. Like that one time that you sprayed cold water on our faces when we refused to wake up one morning for school. Or when you would deliberately step on the brakes which would make us jerk forward on our seats. Or those times when you and Mama would make us go back and forth between the two of you when we would ask permission to go somewhere. Reminiscing those times never fails to bring a smile to my face.

You are a cool dad asking us about our lovelifes and teasing us constantly. You welcomed our friends and treated them like your own children. Even now when you see them you still greet them. You don't know how much that means to my friends that you said hello to them. Their hearts swell with pride when they tell me the story. You opened our house to our friends and made them feel at home . I guess that's why most of our parties at the house would last till morning and yet you and Mama never seemed to mind. That acceptance and your own lasting friendships have been our examples for keeping the friends that we have now.

You may be whatever position you hold outside our house but inside you are Papa. How many father's do you know who would shine our school shoes for us? Clean our boots so it will be ready for our weekend CAT exercise? Deliver Jehann's baked goodies to her buyers? Papa, you did all that and more. You would make sure that we were cool and mosquitoes were at bay during nights where there was no power. When we were all in college in Manila, you would make sure that part of your itinerary would be spending time with us. We like going to the malls with you because you don't complain and you don't rush us. You find yourself a place to sit and wait for us. Plus, you shop at the more pricey places. Even now, you send us text messages just to say hello and to let us know what is going on. It can be too much sometimes but it's okay and we appreciate it.

You turn into mush when it comes to us. I know it was difficult for you to accept that I am far away from home. You wished so many times that I would have been closer but even though it is hard for you, you allowed me still because it is going to be for my own good. I was sad when you wouldn't talk to me when I would call during the first few years that I was away but I understand because you would just break down and cry. I know you are still coming to terms with it and thank you for making an effort. You made everyone at my 18th birthday party cry. You cry a lot when it comes to us that there is a running joke within the family that you will not only need a box of tissue when one of us gets married but a towel. Just opening your letters to me while I was in college was enough to make me cry and your words made me cry even more.

Papa...We have had our moments when I do not understand you and vice versa. But we have managed to get pass it. There were times that we have butted heads I guess because I am stubborn like you. In fact I think the entire family is stubborn. There were times that I was detached because I felt that you expected too much from me and I feel bad when I am not able to live up to them. But I believe that the reason why you push us so much is because you believe we have more to offer than what we are giving. It is that push that made us who we are now. I thank you for treating us like adults, for making us feel that our opinion matters. For being open to what we have to say and listening to them. Thank you for allowing us to be our own persons, for allowing us to grow with your guidance. Thank you for allowing us to make our own decisions and to learn from our own mistakes. You let us make mistakes but knowing that you have our backs, dealing with it makes it easier. Thank you for instilling in us that we should not live under you and Mama's shadows but we would have to cast our own. Thank you for allowing us to fly with our own wings with the assurance that we can always come back home. Thank you for all the support that you have given us which is our source of strength when times get tough. You have a tough road ahead of you with this new challenge that you have embarked upon. Rest assured you have our support much like we have yours. I know that you and Mama still worry about us. I know that you do not trust the world that we live in but I hope that you trust yourselves to believe that you have taught us how to survive and win. Most of all thank you for being the best Papa that any child would love to have. You may not be perfect but you are OUR Papa and that is better than perfection.

Happy Father's Day, Papa! We love you!