Valentine's came early

First some sad news, Bro. Andrew Gonzalez, FSC has passed away. He died of a lingering illness. Bro. Andrew was the president of DLSU when I was in college. I remember him as this jolly man who would roam the halls of the university with a ready smile. It would have been so intimidating to pass him in the halls but that was never the case with him. He greeted each student with a smile and when time permitted would engage in conversation with some. He will surely be missed.

Out on a date

To many it may look like a sad, pathetic sight. But to me it was a much needed respite from the noise-infested world that has enveloped me these past few days.

I took Friday off to go to my Optometrist for a much needed and scheduled eye exam. After three years of my vision being stable, it has increased dramatically. My right eye increased by a 100 and my left eye increased by 75. Not good but at least I have an answer now to the constant headaches and blurredness in vision that I have been having. Working in the medical field I think makes one a hypochondriac that when I was having all these headaches my mind went into overdrive and its scary. Well at least now I know that its nothing more than a little adjustment in my vision prescription to correct.

I also took it as the time to spend some time with myself. I realized I have not done it in awhile and I really need one at this point. Surprisingly and a good thing that I wasn't much in the mood for some retail therapy. Just walking around was enough for me that day. Since I had time to spare I had lunch at CPK and watched a movie all by myself. It is not like this is all new to me. I have done this before even when I was back in Manila. I watched movies by myself and I see nothing wrong with that but it seems some people think differently. But then again, its my life and I chose to live it the way I want to.

At CPK, I was given a table by the window. I will admit it kind of felt odd at first to be the person sitting by herself in that particular area of the restaurant. I was in clear view of everyone. As I wait for my food to arrive, I watched people on their way in and out of the mall. I am sure some of them noticed me too and who knows what they were thinking. It would have been less obvious if I sat at the bar. But the initial feelings soon subsided. To pass the time, I made an attempt to start writing again. The situation I was in would have been a good subject to start on but alas I could only write a few lines and some didn't even make any sense. I guess I didn't want to do anything else but bask in the peace that I found amidst the bustle that was lunch hour. It actually made me smile and God knows how much I needed that. So thank you God!

The end of a saga but the start of a new one

I have been following Jeff's blog since the time I found out about it from Gail's and that was probably some time last year. It was a chronicle of Jeff's feelings for his sister's bestfriend, Marga, who only sees him as "kuya". He was so open about his feelings that at some point, I wondered if all that was written were even real. Who knows if this guy was just a really good writer because he sure is one. But the events became real with every post. How many guys do I know who are as open as Jeff was about his feelings. It leaves you to wonder if such a guy still exists in this world and at the same time hope that maybe he still does exist. It is amazing how I got "attached" to this story that when he was initially rejected, I felt for him when I knew nothing about this guy outside of his blog. I guess it was but fitting to be happy for him when after some time things turned out well for him. He is no longer "kuya" Jeff. The whole saga was capped beautifully by having Marga write the latest update. It is just saddening though because since the saga has ended and he need not set her free anymore, it also means the end the blog. Unless of course they take into consideration that title I suggested at one point. I wish them all the best and I hope I get the chance to meet them at one point in this lifetime, to put a face on the people whose lives I have followed for some time.

Jeff thanked his readers and beside my name he wrote that I was the one who suggested that he should "set himself free". I guess it worked because when he did that's when she came back. How is it that it is easier to dish out the very same advice to someone that we should be directing to ourselves? I think each person has their own individual saga and wishes to find its end eventually. If its going to end the same way as Jeff's did who knows but I guess any end would be better than not knowing at all and just be left to wonder.

It's that time again

Can I fill out an application?

Huh? Ano daw?

That's all I could say when this guy I met on the bus last Wednesday on the way to work asked if he could fill out an application to be my boyfriend. No, this is not some stranger that I met for the first time asking. I have met him before on the same bus ride and he struck a conversation with me. Actually asked if I was interested in watching the AndrewE concert because he was selling tickets. Uhm, No! But see this is where I should slap myself because instead of telling the guy flat out no, I told him maybe so he got my contact number which I gave. Another one deserving a big hit in the head. But since I didn't save his number so when he would call it would appear as some random number on my phone and when that happens I don't usually pick up. More if it registers as a "private number". Telemarketers have masked their numbers like this and I have learned my lesson. So even if you are a relative of mine but if your number comes out as private, expect that I won't pick up my phone. Anyway, going back, after that initial meeting, I had the misfortune of being in the same bus as he was again. He asked why I never picked up before. I made some excuse of sorts that I was busy and had tons of work. It really wasn't a total lie. He told me that AprilBoyRegino is having a concert and if I want to watch because he was selling tickets. I really want to gag by now. Uhm, No! Did I learn my lesson? No! I didn't flat out say no that I don't want to. So now he expects me to give him an answer by this weekend but I already have an excuse ready.

See, this is one of my faults I tend to be PC a lot of times. I fear karma that even if I really want to gag and shut the door in someone's face, I don't. I wouldn't. Until of course if the other person is so dense not to take the hint after some time then that becomes a different story. I didn't want to talk to him so I kept reading the magazine that I had with me - Newsweek with BodeMiller on the cover. BodeMiller is far more interesting! He sort of got the hint that I wasn't in the mood to talk. But I guess he thought it wouldn't hurt to try again that is when he asked if I had a boyfriend, I said no! (why the hell didn't I lie?). Bakit wala? I just shrugged my shoulders. It is none of his business. The next thing that came out of his mouth was.. "puwedeng mag-fill out ng application?" WTF?? What am I? a job opening? I just didn't say anything. The guy probably thought he was being funny or cute when I just felt like hurling whatever I was holding at him. I didn't want to get arrested so I went back to BodeMiller. Now he is cute!

People have wondered why I still do not have a boyfriend or at least seeing someone especially here. That's just it, especially HERE! It doesn't mean that just because I am in the "land of milk and honey" my prospects have become better. They have not! I actually have met probably the oddest people ever. The "guy on the bus" is just one of them.

There is this one guy who was the neighbor of my uncle's. I do not know what gave my uncle an idea to ask me if he could give "neighbor guy" my number but I said it was fine. His parents belonged to the same charismatic group as my aunts and uncles so I guess he should be fine. Well, he was for some time. I was just talking to him on the phone. It was short at first since not long after he was given my number he went to the Philippines for a vacation. Since it would be his first time going home, I took it upon myself to point out the best points of the Philippines. He seemed interested in finding out more about the country so I became an unofficial member of WOW Philippines. I think it was my duty as a Filipino to promote the Philippines. When he came back I asked how his vacation was and he said he enjoyed it. While he was away, my cousins found out that their dad gave my number to "neighbor guy". Their reaction? They all said "ewww". I thought my cousins were just being mean. So I ignored it. We have been talking on and off for a month when he asked when we could meet. Call me paranoid but I really don't feel like meeting some random person somewhere by myself even though we have been talking. So I told him that I am pretty much always at my uncle's house. Maybe one of the days I am there we could meet. I wouldn't have minded that arrangement until he said "okay when you are at your uncle's house, ring our doorbell and I will open the door for you!" Huh?! Ano daw? Excuse me! Who does this guy think he is? That was the end of it.

I find weddings fun or so I thought when I went to my cousin's wedding. Well, her wedding was still fun because it was the first time I saw my uncles all drunk and making fools of themselves. I was minding my own business, having fun with my other cousins when this guy asked me to dance. He was from the groom's side. He actually had potential until I discovered he was gay. Okay! So I danced with him when all a sudden this girl from the pair that was dancing beside us said "Oh can we switch?" All perky and giddy which I have to admit scared me. It turned out that the guy who really wanted to dance with me was her partner and he just asked this other guy to ask me. I was beyond shock that I couldn't say anything. What is this, high school? I didn't want to be rude since he was the groom's cousin. I had no intention of starting a war between the two families on this day that my cousin and her groom were just united. And this happened two more times. So I danced with him, after one song I would complain that my feet hurt and that I didn't want to dance anymore. Both the truth and an excuse. It happened more than one time. He lived in Arizona and he couldn't believe that I was a few years older. I also couldn't believe how shorter he was compared to me and I am short and that he had highlights in his hair. In one of my excuses I thought he would go to his corner of the room - where all the groom's relatives are while I go to mine which is in the other side. But he had an idea to sit at our table and continue whatever it was that we were talking about much to my dismay. He asked for my number which I gave. I could have given him a wrong number but again didn't want to be rude and plus he could still get my number from my cousin. During in what I have decided would be the last dance with him because (1) I don't want to give him the wrong idea; (2) he was getting too close for comfort and (3) he was drunk from the open bar, he mentioned that he was returning to Arizona the next day. Fine by me! Then he told me, "give me a reason to come to California!" "Huh?! Ano daw?" I replied, "uhm, your family?" What did this guy expect me to say? He called and I spoke with him a few times after that then I think he got the message when I started making excuses to cut short our conversation. Plus, we pretty much talked about the same thing in our conversations...himself.

Maybe I am being overly picky or I have super high standards but am I not entitled to that? My rationale is I must start it high so that when I need to lower them, they would still be a bit high. Besides, my standards are really not that out of this world. I want someone who would respect my individuality. Someone secure enough in his own skin that nothing fazes him. Someone who would open new worlds to me. Someone I can stay all day having a conversation with - talking about anything and everything under the sun. Someone who can make me laugh. Someone who would take the chance to get to know the "me" beyond what he sees. Someone who would stump me when I need to be. Someone who would challenge me to want to be better. Is that too much to ask?

You made us proud Pacquiao!

I decided to go to an anticipated mass with my aunt on Saturday with intentions to either stay in on Sunday or watch a movie. Saturday night was the Pacquiao-Morales fight and I knew that there was going to be a viewing party at my uncle's house. I knew for sure my aunt isn't into boxing so I didn't think we would go. But I told her about it and surprisingly she said that we would proceed there after mass. The church was almost empty. There were only a few people who went to mass that night. I figured since a lot of the parishioners are Filipinos, they didn't go to mass that Saturday night and will just go on Sunday.

We got to my uncle's house and there were already so many people. I come from a large family so that wasn't much of a shock to me. It was already the end of round 3 when we got there. Everyone's eyes were fixated to the tv so we helped ourselves to some dinner. Why I even thought I would be able to eat while the fight was going on is beyond me. I feared I was going to get indigestion because I would take a bite and then position myself infront of the tv as well. My hunger evaporated with all the excitement. The first few rounds were nerve-wracking. Morales were getting the points and it seemed that all his punches were connecting. But we had to have faith in Pacquiao and he sure didn't disappoint. The next rounds were just great! I am not a big fan of boxing but Pacquiao is one good reason to enjoy it and be proud of being Filipino. By round 8 or 9, it was evident that Morales was getting tired while Pacquiao was just pumped up. My uncle and I were discussing that he wouldn't even back away when he would get hit by Morales. He was taking it all in. Amazing! Then that round 10 is still a blur until now. The first time Morales fell to the canvas, the whole house erupted in cheer. Sure it was shortlived since he was able to bring himself up but by the 2nd fall, everyone just went crazy. Everyone was jumping for joy, shouting, and high-fives all around. We could only imagine how it was like in the other Filipino homes and in the Philippines. For that brief moment, all Filipinos were one. It was heartwarming to see Pacquiao thanking his fellow Filipinos and said that he was doing this for his country. He mentioned something that stuck with me, about his win he said that it means "great power but it also comes with great responsibility." Imagine if all our politicians had the same line of thinking.

Even the best laid out plans can still change. Earlier I was planning of staying in on Sunday but my cousins and I decided to get some Japanese food since we have been craving for it too. They teased me that it would be my treat. I do not mind paying as long as its for food and besides its not as if the entire clan is coming. It would only be a few of us like 10 so it wouldn't be so bad. Kuya Gerry wanted for a long time to eat at Kabuki Japanese Restaurant and its been awhile since I last ate there. So, I forego my plans of doing nothing to spending time with my cousins. Not a tough choice to make. Since I already went to church I just waited for them to pick me up after they have gone to mass. Being that it was a weekend, Kabuki is not taking reservations. But I figured my cousins were going to the 12:15 PM mass, it would already be around 2:30 PM by the time we get to have lunch meaning the restaurant wont be busy anymore. But by that time it also meant that all of us are going to be so hungry. Hindi lang mag-asawang gutom kundi me anak na! True enough it was easy getting a table and not long were feasting on tuna sashimi, sushi, gyoza, crab salad, fried tofu, ginger shrimp on crispy rice, sukiyaki, shrimp tempura and chicken teriyaki. All that for 6 adults and 2 kids ages 7 and 13 months. To say that we were full was an understatement. We knew we had to walk around the area where the restaurant in Cerritos was. Good thing there was Goldilocks and Target to go to.

After all that food, one would think that would be it for us for the day. Nope, we still had other plans. The whole point why we felt the need to walk around was not only because we were full but also so we could have some space in our stomachs for dessert. Despite the cold weather, ice cream was our choice for dessert. We headed to Coldstone Creamery for some ice cream. We didn't get one big ice cream to share with everyone but we actually ordered one for each one of us. Either we are one crazy bunch or suckers for some torture because it was a windy and cold night. It was a happy and fun night though.

Bamboo pillow - who knew?

Friday was the surprise birthday party for my uncle. It was hard keeping the surprise from him but it was worth it. I took the afternoon off to be at the hall early to help in the decoration. The picture is of the centerpiece that an aunt made for the party. The earlier plans included me having to say something during the program since I was the one who came up with what all cousins call him now and that's "Pabo" which is short for Papa Kalbo since back then he already had a receding hairline. I called his wife, my aunt "Mama Aba" which is short for Mama Taba. I really don't know how or why I came to call them that. I don't have much recollection of it. But, people said that it came from me so I guess I will take the credit. When I was younger, we all lived at the house above the bakery of my maternal grandparents. I was told that I started calling him that to distinguish him from Papa - my real dad. At the time of the party, my cousin forgot to call me much to my relief. I didn't mind talking but I wasn't able to prepare anything. I was ready to just wing it if and when I was called but that didn't happen. They were excited to start with the dancing so the program was shortened.

Up until the last minute, I still have not decided what I was going to wear. I had 5 options. My first option was to wear all black - lace skirt and shell sleeveless shirt and to wear a pearl necklace and gold shoes as accessories. I am pretty superstitious about wearing black to birthday parties so I was having doubts about it. My other options were this turquoise dress, this royal blue dress that I just picked up that day or a blue skirt and red blouse. I tried to veer away from the black but at the end of the day I still went back to my first choice. I think I read it somewhere that the first choice is always the best or something. It turned out well I guess. My shoes were kind of high but surprisingly it was comfortable.

I was exhausted the following day that instead of sleeping over at my aunt's house which I always do on weekends, I decided to stay in and rest. My aunt and uncle left for Vegas so it was just going to be my aunt and myself. I planned to do nothing but rest but surprise of all surprise I had this want to all of a sudden fix the clutter in my room. My books and magazines, though in shelves were all mixed up. I decided to fix them and threw away the magazines that I don't think I would be reading anymore. I also fixed my bed, had this insane idea to move around my full size bed all by myself. It would have been easy if only my bed part of a bunk bed. The ladder to the top bed was in the way. But I was able to manage just fine eventually. Cleaning my room was actually a good thing. I think there is some parallelism between our rooms and our life. I felt that my life was starting to be full of clutter and chaotic much like how my room was turning to look like. It felt good having things in their right places. I just hope things would be easy to find since when I fix my things I end up not finding some of my stuff later on. I may have hid them so well that I myself am not able to find them.

With my room fixed, I realized I was in dire need of new pillows. My pillow was so flat that it was starting to be uncomfortable. I didn't realize that there would be so many different kinds of pillows. I only knew of 2 - the cotton and the feather one, the density- soft, medium or firm, that's it. When I was looking for pillows, I was met by a whole barrage of choices: side, stomach, plush, down, feather, shapeable, aller-free, and strangely bamboo. I don't like soft pillows and among the choices the only firm one was the bamboo. It said that the fabric of the shell was made from fibers derived from bamboo. It was naturally smooth and eco-friendly at that. I liked it because it was the right density that I wanted and that was enough for me. I didn't expect to be so ecstatic over pillows but I was. Maybe it's just my imagination but I am actually sleeping better with my new pillows...

and these companions

Overdue post

This is the condition that met us on our way to Vegas during the New Year weekend.

Since it was a long a weekend and my uncle whose house where we usually celebrate New Year's eve at was vacationing in the Philippines, some of my family decided to drive out to Vegas. It seems if one lives in California, Vegas is the place to be to meet the new year which translates to traffic jams and difficulty getting hotel accommodations. Good for us, we decided to leave on Saturday after lunch when almost everyone left on Friday. I could have gone with some of my relatives when they went on Friday but I waited for my cousin and his family, my aunt and my sister since they still had work. They needed my "navigation skills" since among all of us, I have been to Vegas the most times. It was actually better because I didn't ride with my cousins. Don't get me wrong, I like my cousins but they are not particularly the kind of people I would want to go on a road trip with. For one thing, they get bored easily and when they do, they tend to bother me. Long drives are my opportunity to zone out, "mag muni-muni" and I cannot do that when they constantly ask me irrelevant questions just so they will be amused. Plus, all 7 of us fit perfectly and comfortably in the van. As for the hotel accommodations, my uncle has a house so that covered it.

We knew beforehand that the forecast was going to be rain for that weekend but we didn't think it would be this much which made the roads hard to trek. My cousin, who was driving already made the decision that if the conditions worsened and it would be traffic, we would forego our plans. Fine by me since I already knew that we would not be able to make it on time to be able to get into the strip (street where almost all the hotels are at). For security reasons, they close off the strip at 6PM until 4 AM. If we want to go, we would have to park far and walk towards the strip.

So what did I do in Vegas? Nothing! Nada! Zilch! Unless you consider sleeping and eating. Unlike the new years past, this was rather low key and quiet. It was okay at least I had family around. My uncle's house was pretty big enough to accommodate all 30 of us who decided to go with a lot of room to spare. They just moved in so it was pretty much empty save for the dining table. We get to pick where we can lay out our sleeping bags to sleep. We waited until midnight for the countdown, ate then too tired from the drive, I slept.

If sleeping arrangements wasn't a problem, the bathroom was another thing. There were 30 of us, 3 bathrooms and one of them didn't have hot water. Yikes! The easy solution would be some of us waking up early and using the 2 functional bathrooms. That was done but it still wont be enough in order for all of us to be ready by noon to go to church and lunch with another uncle's house. I decided to make use of my "training" coming from a province battered often by typhoons and lack of water. The last bathroom had hot water from the sink but not in the shower. So what did I do? Thank goodness for being Filipinos so no bathroom is without a pail and a "tabo", I made use of that. I got hot water from the sink, save in it a pail and took a shower. The others realizing how much time its going to take before they can have their turn in the other bathrooms, followed what I did. Now we were all ready in time with some to spare.

I felt silly though. Here I am, in what should be a technologically advanced country and I am using survival skills of a developing country. But I guess I should be thankful that I learned those skills because I was able to tap into them when I needed to. When the situation called for some improvisation, I was able to think of something. Imagine if my cousins were faced with that situation, I wonder what they would have done. I think they will be lost. Much like when there was a blackout one time and my cousin just had to rouse me from my sleep to tell me that there was no power and asked what we usually do back in the Philippines. I told her "we sleep" and that I did, letting her decide what she wants to do. What else can you do but deal with it and live around it. That's what I did at that particular time and what a relief and time-save it was.

After dinner at yet another uncle's house, the 7 of us drove back to California since they had work on the 2nd. Looking back, we actually just went to Vegas to sleep and eat.