Disturbing

I don't know if I have just been out of school for far too long and these are the signs of the times or there is just something seriously wrong with the educational system that my cousin is under.

I got a call again yesterday from my aunt double checking if she got the spelling of the word "tranquilize" right. Yes, I am not only my family's resident editor of written works but the spell checker, dictionary, encyclopedia and thesaurus as well. Anyway, I spelled it for her and she got it right then she asked what the proper use of the word would be - if its present or past tense. I told her depends on the sentence. She gave me the sentence - "Next is to tranquilize the elephant". I told her it was "tranquilize". Then as it sunk in, it bothered me what my 2nd grader cousin's homework was about. It turned that they were told to write a step-by-step direction on "how to capture a wild elephant". I was shocked. Why the heck would the teacher assign such a thing? Instead of a direction on how to capture an elephant, shouldn't it be about preserving them especially now that a lot of animals are going extinct. I told my aunt to end it at "putting the elephant into a truck to be taken to the zoo" after that horrific step. It bothered me so much that I had trouble sleeping.

Granted that it has been ages ago since I was a 2nd grader myself but I certainly do not remember having such an assignment. If for anything it was about how life came about with that monggo seed that we had to plant in a tiny plastic cup and see its progress on a daily basis. We were not taught on how to"capture animals". We were taught on how to take care of animals and other living things. Sometimes, I wonder what lessons children nowadays are being exposed to. Its bad enough that the world is already chaotic and violent, why teach them almost the same thing in school? And we wonder why children nowadays are the way they are. Blame has been put on movies, tv shows and video games with the proliferation of violence among the youth and little did we know that it started in school...at such a young age.

I am just wondering what it would be like when my own kids go to school. What would teachers be teaching them by then? I used to think that maybe the educational system in the Philippines can be better but looking back now maybe I had it good than what my cousins are exposed to in what is supposed to be a rich country. If due to circumstances, my future children will be exposed to these types of lessons I think I would be the loudest one there to decry such teachings. Teachers may hate me but I don't think its right to be paying as much tuition as parents already are for our kids to be taught to be violent to animals. Animals now, who's next?

Singelringen

From the first time I saw the ad in a magazine of A.Diamond.Is.Forever's "diamond right hand ring" I wanted one. The marketing of it hit me like a wave. The right.hand.ring was a celebration of who I am and who I want to be. The ad even went to as far as saying that the one on your left hand is a celebration of the day you were married, the one on the right is a celebration of the day you were born. It symbolizes one's personality, one's independence, now who wouldn't want that. This was one of the designs that I would have wanted.

But, these rings don't come cheap so I can only dream of it for the meantime and save up for it. Then I read over at kikay exchange about this new thing from Sweden called "Singelringen" which is now available in the Philippines and the US. "Singelringen" which means "ring for singles" is for both men and women. Like the "right hand ring" this too is worn on the right hand. It celebrates one's status and conscious choice for now which is that of being single. What makes this ring very interesting is the fact that if you look closely in the inside rim of the ring is a series of numbers. This is the registration number of each ring. Once purchased, the owner registers the ring in the website (http://www.singelringen.com), and this allows the owner to communicate with other singles in the world. Browsing through the site, one can also make an "anonymous request" which is basically a query if a particular person is still single. I am curious how this would work though. Unless that other person purchased a "singelringen" as well and registered, I think it would be hard to know if he or she is still single. But its worth a try. Who knows. In these age of F.riendster and M.y S.pace and other social network sites, here is another one that could possibly bring people together. Its amazing what people come up with.

I actually just want the ring. I think its also a good gift to give to my single friends, the number of which is dwindling down fast. Though I can buy it online, its a bit tricky with the ring size. I think if I would shell out that much money I would want it to fit me perfectly. So the search is on in finding a store that carries this.

It's all relative

I once joked to my cousin that why is it that I am related to some of the nicest and good-looking guys. Here are guys who I think have a lot of potentials but downside is I am related to them in a big way that its out of the question.

One is a son of my second cousin. I just newly discovered that he is a relative. I just met him when I came to the States and he was at one of our family parties. I noticed him right away, he was a new face after all. Plus, who wouldn't? He is tall, good-looking, nicely built, nice skin color, soft-spoken and quite intelligent. He is the same age as I am. He was also interested in getting to know some of his relatives most of whom he has only recently found out of their existence. In the few times that he would be at family parties, we have always talked and he is just interesting. He lives quite far and not always able to come to our parties but when there is an opportunity to invite him and me, being the family event planner and all, I include him in the list. If one thinks about it, our connection is already pretty far but in F.ilipino culture, once tagged as a relative is a relative and therefore hands-off. Besides, his last name is my middle name so that is just too weird.

Not that my other guy cousins do not belong in the list of nice and good-looking guys but there are just too many of them to mention so I have to pick one. I think one of the nicest and good looking guys is Mikey. He is the son who at 17 took over being the "head of the family" when his father died. Even while his dad was still alive, Mikey was already a sensitive, mature, responsible guy so it wasn't a surprise that he has taken his new role quite well and has adapted to it easily. Being the only boy in a brood of 5, he is used to female company add to that his female cousins. Even he is the only guy in the group, he doesn't mind. One time, we were at an accessories store, the girls going all crazy, where was Mikey? Right in the middle of the store, just waiting for us to finish, not once did he tell us to hurry up or scowled at us or anything. He just waited until we were done. He also waited for me and Cassey when we went to watch a movie once after he and Chantal already brought the younger kids into the theater. When I asked what he was doing there, he said so we would know where we were sitting. Some girl will be very lucky to be loved by this guy and I hope she knows how lucky she is.

And there is my brother, Niccolo. I didn't use to think he was nice or good-looking. I could never look at him that way. In high school a teacher told me "kabuotan nala nimo brother" (your brother is kind). I didn't know what to say to her. I didn't want to badmouth my brother but in my mind I was asking myself if we were talking about the same guy. My brother was a pain growing up like all younger brothers. But as he grew older, his kindness came to the surface. Maybe he has been nice all these times but we, his sisters just didn't realize it. He is really sweet and caring, a good listener too. Maybe he overdoes it a bit sometimes when he makes "lambing" to our mom. He is nauseatingly sweet sometimes. But that is just his nature. At 27, he still follows with no questions when our parents tell him to do something - wash the dishes, drive people around, do errands, etc. He doesn't complain, well not in front of our parents but he does to us but he will still do it anyway. He is a gentleman, mature, responsible, sensitive so its no wonder we, his sisters tend to turn overprotective when it comes to girls for him. My friends and some people have told me that he is good looking. At first I was like "eww". He is my brother for goodness sakes, I am not supposed to think that he is. Well, now I do and I have to after all he is my brother. A lot of girls have taken advantage of his kindness and have broken his heart. They have no idea what they have let go of. Well its their loss anyway. Someone worthy will eventually come along.

Well, its pretty unfair to compare other guys to them but it cannot be helped. When one is surrounded with such good quality of guys, its pretty much expected that we would want if not the same at least comparable for ourselves. Not much in terms of physicality but its a plus but more on character. When you have guys like these who think the world of you, you would want someone like that as well.

40 days

It has been 40 days since Tito Augie passed away. Our tears have all dried out but it still doesn't ease the fact that we still have this emptiness in our hearts. Forty days have passed and yet we all are still in disbelief that he has left us forever. Somehow at the back of our minds, we are waiting for a moment that he would appear and tell us "gotcha, joke's on you!" But we know that wouldn't happen so we just need to do what we need to do.. move on with our lives. I admit it was pretty hard. A friend validated that but also said that we still have to move on. Our lives have to go on. We just put in our minds that he has left us because he has already served his purpose and we have memories of him to remember him by. We talk about him because in that way we heal ourselves and also our way of not forgetting him. Looking back, some of our interactions with him were pretty simple, ordinary even but now we realize lessons and wisdom were embedded in those. Those are the ones that allow us to finally come to an acceptance that he is no longer around but his spirit remains with us.

Probably because we were close in age so he treats me more of a friend than a niece. He was our "taga-tagay" when we would have drinking sessions, peppered with his jokes and comments. There were times that I felt he was too cocky and wanted attention so much but I realize now that he was just being himself and he just wanted to enjoy each moment that he had with us. I had a tiff with him once because I didn't like one comment he made. It was a comment that I felt was disparaging to people from Leyte and one that he didn't have a right making since he hasn't been there. It wasn't the first time but at that particular day, I didn't get much sleep and was cranky and then I heard his comment so I gave a snide comeback. But after that all was well with us. In think it even made him know and respect me more so he has ceased making such comments at least within my hearing shot.

Tito Augie was the type of uncle that I would both love and dread to introduce a guy friend to. I would have loved to introduce a guy friend to him because he has a way of making people feel comfortable and welcomed. I have seen how he is when we introduce new people to him, he would go out of his way to make them feel welcomed, talked to them, gave them his attention. But it also depends on the person. My cousin said it well when he said that people either love of hate Tito Augie. But the difference is even if one hates him you will still like him a little, if that even makes any sense. I would dread it though because he would definitely put someone or me on the spot with his teasing. He did that a lot so if a person is "pikon" or lacks sense of humor, he/she wouldn't like Tito Augie that much. But that will be the true test though because if one will be able to come out of a meeting with him alive, the rest of the family would be easy.

He puts so much importance on family. He doesn't fail to remind us, cousins that we have to stick together because we are family. He always told me that he will be there for me when I would need him. Their house is open for me and if I need anything to just call. He was that accommodating and available. I remember one time that the bus I was riding in broke down and it was getting dark, I called him and he came to pick me up even if I was out of his way. He particularly enjoyed it when all of us cousins are all together and I am glad that on one of few times before he died we were all together. He spoke to us on a level that we will all understand. He never exerted this status of "I am your uncle, you do as I say" thing. If we spoke, he listened intently and gave advice when he had to. He also would word his advice in a manner that even my youngest of cousin would understand. He dealt with us on our own levels from my 3 year old cousin to my 40 something cousin.

His jokes, stories, comments, wisdom and company are what we all miss the most but these are also the ones that are carrying us through. When we talk and we do our own remembrance of him, we still take lessons from them. It is only now that we are starting to realize that what we thought he said before was a given seemed to be now our saving grace and that is each other. We are all dealing with the loss as best as we can but the important thing is we are dealing with it together as a family. He must be smiling down on us right now.