Miffed!

Aside from blogging, I also visit forums. There is one forum that I go to consists of people from my city. There is a wide variety of topics that is being discussed there. Anyway, I went there today and of course like everywhere the heated discussion is about GMA. I state my opinions and all. The gist of my post was I think everyone is highly emotional about the whole thing with valid reasons but I think nothing will be accomplished if we use our heart to decide and not our heads. There is a reason why the brain is above the heart. I am not particularly amused with the recent turn of events as well but this is the time that the next step should require much needed thought. This is not the time to be hasty though I know that this needs to be dealt with the soonest possible time. "Haste goes to waste" like they say. Then there was a post right after mine which to me was short of a challenge. It seemed that I may have hit a raw nerve in that poster that he or she shot back with a statement that didn't particularly sound good to my ears. He or she stated that "instead of spewing at a passive screen, I should ask if I have done something about it!" That statement though may not have been directed at me but felt like it was and it hit a raw nerve in me as well. But regardless if it was directed at me or not, whatever happened to respecting the opinions of others. So I replied that I indeed have done something about it and that was... never thinking that my vote would be a waste if I didn't vote for the most likely winner. I didn't vote for Erap nor did I vote for GMA. Plus if I do not find any candidate worthy of my vote in any position, I abstain from writing any name regardless if a candidate is a relative or not. Our parents gave my siblings and I the freedom to vote for whoever we want to. Papa nor Mama never told us to vote for anyone. Our ballot was our own. Now that I have settled and calmed down, it is actually laughable that I even gave this so much thought, time and energy. I contradicted my very own statement about not thinking with my heart but with my mind. That was a "lapse of judgment" (no pun intended) on my part. After this I am going back to lurkdom for the time being. It may seem that I am evading but I cannot promise to be sensible all the time and I am not sure if this is worth my blood pressure shooting up. Or next time I should really just laugh it off.

From nothing to something

After so many weeks and months of having a busy weekend, here I am on a Saturday morning, in front of the computer, pretty much doing nothing! YES! Well, granted I am not totally activity-free today, I have an uncle's birthday party to go to later, at least for a few hours I have the house all by myself. My aunts and uncle are at a LSS retreat at our parish. It's a beautiful, sunny day to be wasted away, doing nothing. I am well aware of that but it's too hot to go anywhere. Plus, I am resisting the urge to go to the mall and start buying things I may not exactly need but just want. The only place that I go to frequently is the bookstore anyway and sadly its closed. My trip to the mall will now be without a trip to my favorite bookstore. That is a tragedy.

I think guys should take lessons from my uncle. It was my uncle's wife's birthday yesterday and he surprised her. He had mentioned that he had concocted something for her birthday but no specifics of course. So when I called my aunt to greet her, she told me what the surprise was. He booked a room at the Ritz Carlton Laguna Niguel. He commissioned my 3 cousins, one of them their daughter to prepare the room with balloons, rose petals on the bed and tub and 36 candles everywhere, one for every year of her life. That was a sweet thing to do after 14 years of marriage and 3 kids. Actually, most of the men in my family have a sweet streak in them. Papa isn't really into big surprises but he has done a lot of small surprises. One of his big surprises was what he did for Mama for her 50th birthday. Mama had no idea that Papa along with my siblings planned a party for her and they invited all her friends from high school to be there. That was a tricky thing to pull off since we live in a small city. One Christmas, Papa was hinting to us that he had big gifts for us but when we opened it, it was a picture frame with our pictures on it. For a second we were disappointed but we realized that he went through all that trouble to do something for us. Now, that picture frame is my favorite gift of all time. My brother once cooked an Italian dinner for a girlfriend one Valentine's Day. Well, he was actually short on money, living off his student's allowance and it was hard to get reservations anywhere. But still, he cooked a penne pasta dish, had roses on the table, wine and decent cutlery. He transformed our tiny apartment into a place straight out of an Italian eatery. I think more than what the surprise was, it is the thought and the effort that counts the most. It is making the other person feel that he or she is special and thought of. It doesn't have to fall on a specific occassion or event. Sometimes the randomness of the action is what makes it really special and unforgettable. I think it's sad when couples start taking each other for granted. That I think starts the downfall of relationships.

Summer Blues

It is only 4 days into what is officially summer season but I am already feeling the heat, literally. I have been sluggish, fatigued these past couple of days. I attributed it to lack of sleep but then again I have always lacked sleep. I don't remember a time in my life that I really went for the suggested or required 8 hours of sleep. I feel nauseous if I sleep for 8 hours or worse when I sleep more than that. So I scratched sleep off the possible reasons why I feel like crap. Then earlier, I had an awakening that it wasn't sleep that I am in need of but water. I am not the biggest water drinker. I do not drink soda either. I am just not the biggest drinker of anything. I not only get the required 8 hours of sleep, I also do not drink the required 8 glasses of water. I am screwed. But, starting tomorrow, I am going to make a conscious effort to drink lots and lots of water. My body is void of any liquid which is what I need the most to survive the next 2 months until summer ends. I want to enjoy summer no matter how hot it's going to be. I have no plans of continuing to feel this way. I also pity the people around me if I continue to be this way. I am not exactly the happiest camper when I do not feel well. This is like PMSing for the next 2 months, No way!

When I lived in Manila for pretty much 5 years, I had allergies during the mornings which was tolerable. Everyone in my family has allergies so it was no big thing. But when I moved here, my allergies escalated from the "during mornings" ones to whole day then to everyday. When the season changes, usually spring and fall, my allergies act up. But its summer and my allergies are bad! When the temperature changes, my sinusitis and migraine make their presence felt. My vacation in Maui was hampered by this as soon as I stepped out of the plane. When I smell newly cut grass, I go into a sneezing fit. I wish people will mow their lawns after I pass. But that is not going to happen. Manila, supposedly has a worse air quality than L.A. but how come I never had all these things when I was there. I do not want to medicate myself as much as possible. I was never used to popping a pill each time I felt sick. But I do not know how long I can take this state. I plan to sit it out and see and if it gets any worse then maybe. But I hope there is a different way to deal with this than through taking some medicines. Funny thing is I work at a doctor's office where pretty much all medications are available for me and I do not take advantage of that.

My mom used to tell us whenever we would be scared of ghost stories that "matakot na kayo sa buhay, wag sa patay" (Be scared of the living not of the dead). I always believed that. Well, its true. What could the dead possibly do to me but scare me out of my wits. The living can inflict pain on me or worse kill me. I tell that to my co-workers and they think I am a lunatic. My co-workers look at me with amazement that I can stay at the office all by myself. But then again its daytime. They supposedly feel some supernatural things going on, hear unusual sounds at the office but for some reasons I get none of those. Maybe I just do not mind them that's why they leave me alone. However, early this morning around 1 am as I was checking my mails, I heard some noises outside our front door. Call me crazy but I didn't exactly bolt out of my chair to go to my room. I actually waited and tried to listen in. It was definitely no ghost or supernatural being. I would have just shrugged it off if it was. As soon as I had that established that's when I decided to forego my mails and just go to sleep. I am not sure if it was an animal or a person going through our trash but I didn't want to find out. But a part of me actually was thinking of taking a peek to see what or who it was. Didn't I say I am a bit crazy?

My one and only working watch broke so I have to get batteries for the others. I am not used to not wearing a watch even when I sleep. But I do not know when I would have the time to go to a watch repair store to get those batteries and have my watches fixed.

This lady almost gave me a bath when I already had one when I passed by her as she was watering her plants. She already went to the side so I would have space to walk without getting soaked but I still had water on me. I think she raised the hose a little too high that's why. I resisted giving her a dagger look since it was far too early to be in a bad mood.

The heat got into me so much that I didn't get anything done at work. In fact, I don't think I did anything at all and it's almost the weekend! Geez!

Today just wasn't my day!

Papa

I know that this post is way overdue. Blame my lack of sleep for my inability to put into words what my heart wants to say. But at least I called to greet you a "Happy Father's Day!" You thanked me for the shirts that Mama bought which she passed on as coming from us. Bless her!

I do not know if I ever said thank you enough for being the Papa that you are. To many you may be an enigma but to us you are an open book. I know that the past year have been a struggle for you. We wished we could do more but we can only give you our understanding and love. It is not always easy. You do get into our nerves sometimes but we understand what you are going through and we try not to add to it. I am glad that you and Mama taught us from an early age to be dependable and independent adults. My siblings and I have bonded into dealing with our individual problems the best that we can without turning to you when we know that you too are facing your own problems. Like you always told us, we relied on each other during those times and we came out of it alright. As long as we have each other other we can weather whatever it is that will come our way. Don't worry it turned out okay, Mama is okay and you it seems are turning out okay as well. Life could not be better.

Things were not always rosy. I resented the fact that your political life took you away from us in so many occasions. I was angry that you had to leave after Camille's kindergarten graduation and Nicco's grade school graduation and didn't join us for dinner because you had to attend a meeting. I was mad that you missed out on so many things in our lives because you had to take care of other things. I also resented the fact that we bore the brunt of your frustration with the problems that was plaguing government. It felt like we were not only carrying our own problems on our shoulders but we were carrying the problems of the entire province as well. Basically, I was mad that we would have to share you now with your constituents when all these times we had your undivided attention. Maybe I was just jealous that is why I felt that way. But eventually I understood and accepted this as part of what is now our reality. This life that you have embarked upon also taught us to be aware of the conditions and struggles of other people outside our secured and comfortable world. It opened our eyes to the world beyond what we have been accustomed to and to count ourselves lucky. Being apolitical in our family was just not possible when you read 5 newspapers daily and you had to have your weekly supply of Time and Newsweek Magazine and you encouraged us to be voracious readers as well. The current political situation was discussed over dinner and I vividly recall that time during the EDSA Revolution when we would listen intently at the radio on what was happening in Manila and you explaining to us in a manner that our young minds will be able to comprehend. You told me that "I should be happy that I grew up in the countryside!" I didn't think of it much before but being far away from home, I look back at those times and it gets me through my homesickness. You ingrained in us that we have a responsibility to be good citizens and good people and we have our own share in making our lives as well as the lives of others better. We carry that awareness up to this day.

People may have an impression of you as someone strict and rigid. Yes, you were strict. We had to be home at a specific time especially during school days. We had to be home at the time we were told to be home and to call in case we would be late. We had to let you know who we are with and where we are going. It was not because you wanted to control our lives but I believe knowing our whereabouts was the middle ground between you allowing us to live our lives the way that we should live it and easing up your worries. In times that we fall off the wagon and we disobey those rules you would call our attention to it. Sometimes it became annoying since you have the penchant of saying it over and over again. And yes it is still annoying up to this day. But we have to accept that because that is who you are. We have had our share of being punished but what sets you apart is the fact that you explain to us why we were punished. At least we know that we were not being punished for nothing. After making us cry you would be the first one to give us a hug and comfort us.

You were involved in our lives but you never meddled. Inspite of the busy schedules that you and Mama followed, you make it a point that we have dinner together and that weekends are spent with family. I enjoyed our late night runs to get barbecue or fruits or whatever it is that you are craving. I also remember how you would indulge us when we want to take a drive the morning after a typhoon. How you tried to play "word factory" with us not knowing the rules. Tell stories of your own childhood when there was a power outage and we would sit outside our porch underneath the bright moon. These are the memories that we will treasure forever not the material things. You are very generous with gifts but more than the material things I believe we appreciate more the life lessons that you have shared with us and the outstanding example that you have shown.

Not a lot of people know that you are a prankster. There have been so many instances that we have been at the receiving end of it. Like that one time that you sprayed cold water on our faces when we refused to wake up one morning for school. Or when you would deliberately step on the brakes which would make us jerk forward on our seats. Or those times when you and Mama would make us go back and forth between the two of you when we would ask permission to go somewhere. Reminiscing those times never fails to bring a smile to my face.

You are a cool dad asking us about our lovelifes and teasing us constantly. You welcomed our friends and treated them like your own children. Even now when you see them you still greet them. You don't know how much that means to my friends that you said hello to them. Their hearts swell with pride when they tell me the story. You opened our house to our friends and made them feel at home . I guess that's why most of our parties at the house would last till morning and yet you and Mama never seemed to mind. That acceptance and your own lasting friendships have been our examples for keeping the friends that we have now.

You may be whatever position you hold outside our house but inside you are Papa. How many father's do you know who would shine our school shoes for us? Clean our boots so it will be ready for our weekend CAT exercise? Deliver Jehann's baked goodies to her buyers? Papa, you did all that and more. You would make sure that we were cool and mosquitoes were at bay during nights where there was no power. When we were all in college in Manila, you would make sure that part of your itinerary would be spending time with us. We like going to the malls with you because you don't complain and you don't rush us. You find yourself a place to sit and wait for us. Plus, you shop at the more pricey places. Even now, you send us text messages just to say hello and to let us know what is going on. It can be too much sometimes but it's okay and we appreciate it.

You turn into mush when it comes to us. I know it was difficult for you to accept that I am far away from home. You wished so many times that I would have been closer but even though it is hard for you, you allowed me still because it is going to be for my own good. I was sad when you wouldn't talk to me when I would call during the first few years that I was away but I understand because you would just break down and cry. I know you are still coming to terms with it and thank you for making an effort. You made everyone at my 18th birthday party cry. You cry a lot when it comes to us that there is a running joke within the family that you will not only need a box of tissue when one of us gets married but a towel. Just opening your letters to me while I was in college was enough to make me cry and your words made me cry even more.

Papa...We have had our moments when I do not understand you and vice versa. But we have managed to get pass it. There were times that we have butted heads I guess because I am stubborn like you. In fact I think the entire family is stubborn. There were times that I was detached because I felt that you expected too much from me and I feel bad when I am not able to live up to them. But I believe that the reason why you push us so much is because you believe we have more to offer than what we are giving. It is that push that made us who we are now. I thank you for treating us like adults, for making us feel that our opinion matters. For being open to what we have to say and listening to them. Thank you for allowing us to be our own persons, for allowing us to grow with your guidance. Thank you for allowing us to make our own decisions and to learn from our own mistakes. You let us make mistakes but knowing that you have our backs, dealing with it makes it easier. Thank you for instilling in us that we should not live under you and Mama's shadows but we would have to cast our own. Thank you for allowing us to fly with our own wings with the assurance that we can always come back home. Thank you for all the support that you have given us which is our source of strength when times get tough. You have a tough road ahead of you with this new challenge that you have embarked upon. Rest assured you have our support much like we have yours. I know that you and Mama still worry about us. I know that you do not trust the world that we live in but I hope that you trust yourselves to believe that you have taught us how to survive and win. Most of all thank you for being the best Papa that any child would love to have. You may not be perfect but you are OUR Papa and that is better than perfection.

Happy Father's Day, Papa! We love you!

Beyond what the eyes can see

It must be June when all of my favorites shows have had their season finales and I have to contend myself with either watching re-runs or finding some other show to watch. So far none has caught my attention until last night. Beauty and the Geek is a brainchild of Ashton Kutcher that is being shown right now on The WB. I am not really a big fan of his. His other show over at MTV was entertaining at first but some of the pranks that they have pulled on other celebrities are already getting tiring, annoying, offensive and downright mean.

I wasn't able to watch the first episode of "Beauty & The Geek" primarily because I wasn't at all interested at first and secondly I wasn't around when it premiered. The labeling truned me off from giving it a chance. I never cared for labels and I always thought that people should never brand themselves as one or the other or box themselves into stereotypes. But then again that is just me. I guess I am a bit sensitive about labels since I have been labeled before of being something which was far from the truth. People are actually surprised to discover that all these times they were wrong about me. But enough of me. Going back to the show, Ashton described it as the "ultimate social experiment". He paired off 7 beauties who may be cerebrally challenged and yet social experts with 7 geeks who are intellectually stimulating but may be lacking in social skills. Some of the beauties were not exactly beauties and some of the geeks didn't look like geeks at all. Each pair competes through a series of activities that is the opposite of their "expertise". The challenge is to equip the other with the much needed information to win the task on hand. Each week a team is eliminated until one pair emerges in the end to win the grand prize.

As I was watching it, aside from the fact that it was actually interesting, it also made me think that maybe through this show people will come to realize that labels are not only hurtful but sometimes these are wrong and misconstrued. I am sure that people whether a beauty, a geek, a jock, a loner and all other "stereotypes" out there have had their own prejudices against other people without really getting to know the other person. It would have been interesting to watch the very first episode when they were all initially introduced to each other and observe the whole dynamics of it. I am guessing it wasn't the prettiest sight. But since they signed on to the show, they would just have to live with it. Maybe that's the whole idea behind it.. put these people who would not normally walk in the same circles in close quarters wherein they would have to deal with each other whether they like it or not. Sometimes, a little coercion or in this case monetary compensation would do us some good to look past the facade that we see. There are more to a person than what our eyes see but either we chose not to see it or we do see it but chose to ignore or brush it aside.

It was just the second episode and it is starting to become apparent that the beauties and the geeks are forming bonds, a connection with each other which would pave the way for better understanding and acceptance of one another. They are all learning from each other which I think would be the best prize they could ever get at the end of this. It would have been ideal had it not been a competition, no pair is being eliminated and everyone will all stick together until the end. But reality is, this is still a game and the producers have to spice it up to hold the audience interest. But at least the contestants are leaving with a better sense of themselves and of the other which would be for their own benefits. I just hope that these people will bring their experiences from the show into the "outside" world when the show ends and make changes in their own lives. These changes are not going to solve the world's problems, curb hunger, save people's lives or end war but at least every bit helps so people will be more accepting of one another. To stop looking at someone as male, female, beauty, geek etc but realizing that we are not at all different from each other because if we really look closely we are all human beings.

Or is it too much to ask from a reality tv show?

The bride wore no veil.

Or something blue. Or something old. or something borrowed. She has something new - her wedding dress. There were no bouquet toss or garter toss or money dance. Was this a wedding? Yes, it was a wedding and the bride wanted it that way. It was her wedding and she will do and should do whatever she wants to.

I am still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that a dear friend of mine is now married. Until now I am still in disbelief that she now has a husband. I have known Chary along with her twin sister Christy since first grade. A lot of people are really amused and astonished that we have kept in touch all these years. We were classmates from first grade until graduating from high school. During college, we studied in rival schools - the 2 of them went to Ateneo while I went to La Salle. But we never let all that school rivalry put a dampen on our friendship and I am glad for that. We actually couldn't care less. Our friendship was way more important than school spirit. After college we all found ourselves in Southern California just maybe 30 minutes from each other and we try to get together as much as we can. Not a lot of people have maintained friendships as long as we have. I am glad that we have and I am truly blessed.

It was a very nice wedding. With choosing to have it in Maui, Chary and Rick were able to make sure that the people at their wedding were the ones that they really wanted to be there. Just their respective families and close friends were there which made it really intimate. They were at the helm from start to finish. They made the invitations, made the placecards/favors, the menu in specially- made holders all by themselves. It turned out pretty well considering that they saw the church, the reception, the flowers, the cake, picked their song ("Let's Stay Together by Al Green), met their wedding coordinator, photographer and DJ in that same week. All communication were done either through phone or email. This wedding was put together with the use of modern technology. Chary was a far cry from the "bridezillas". She wasn't going to consume herself in making the whole thing perfect and I applaud her for that. After all the imperfections are the one that make the event unforgettable.

The scenery was amazing, the food was great, the dessert was very decadent. It was too pretty to eat but I ate it anyway. Their respective fathers spoke, the groom's cousin, Angelie, who is an amazing singer, serenaded the couple with songs. Derek, the groom's brother-in-law and best man along with Christy, the bride's twin sister and maid of honor offered a toast and it was dancing all night long. She forego doing the bridal bouquet toss and the garter toss since she never enjoyed them, she didn't feel it was fair to subject her single guests to those either.

Chary is embarking into a new chapter in her life. Like she said, "she's a grown-up now". She too had trouble comprehending all the things that happened and will happen to her. If before she had us her friends to rely on now she has an additional person to rely on and that is Rick. She will rely on him first from now on. I know that Rick loves her and she is in good hands.

Congratulations Rick & Chary! Best Wishes!

I wish

I wish to wake up each morning and see one of those. This was just one of the mornings that I woke up to during my stay in Maui. I was there for my dear friend Chary's wedding and my much needed vacation at the same time. The sound of the waves as they roll into shore, warm weather and sunrise such as these were a far cry from the cars, erratic weather of Los Angeles.

The moment we arrived in Maui on Monday, I immediately felt at home and not only because there was a large Filipino population in Maui but the weather and the lifestyle seemed to have transported me back home to Tacloban. This wasn't my first visit to Hawaii but it was my first visit to Maui. Chary and Christy after their visits to the island told me that Maui was like an "improved" Tacloban and they were both right. From the luscious mountains to the clear, blue waters to the laidback atmosphere I would have thought that I was back home but alas I wasn't but at least this was close to home as I could ever be.

The one thing I miss the most from home were the beaches. We have beaches in Southern California but the waters are frigid, not at all conducive to taking a dip unless you are a polar bear or a penguin. The waters in Maui were just the perfect temperature. I promised myself that I will not leave Maui without at least taking a dip. My promise was granted Thursday when by myself I went to the beach and enjoyed the waters. I invited Chary and Christy to come along but they felt that it way too early and would rather just catch up on their sleep. I do not blame them, it was after all 7 AM. I am not usually a morning person but for some reasons during our entire time in Maui my usual wake-up time was 630 AM. It was actually a good time. The shore wasn't that crowded yet save for some people doing their morning walk on the beach and some little kids playing "catch me" with the waves. It would have been perfect if not for the big rocks on the ocean floor. I had a wedding the following day, I had no plans of injuring myself. Good thing, the water was clear enough for me to see where I was going and which areas I should stay away from. But I still stubbed my toes one too many times.

While there, I did something that was out of my "comfort zone". I went parasailing with Chary, Christy, Rick, Tana and Tom. I like rollercoasters so I wasn't all that scared to go parasailing but still scared enough after all we would be suspended 800 feet up in the sky, our dear life dependent only to these harnesses and life vests. Not very comforting at all but at least going as a tandem was comfort enough. Doing it all by myself would have been a different matter. The ascent was not abrupt which was a relief. We were hoisted into the sky really slowly and our height was gradually increased as time went on. I hardly ever felt that we were that high. Rick mentioned that at some point we would feel a sudden gush of wind which brought us higher and when it happened it was actually exciting. It was so tranquil and serene up there. Away from the noise of the people on the shore, the sound of the machines from boats, everything was just shut off and it was a welcome change. After probably being up there for a good 10-15 minutes we were already on our way down. But the captain of the boat decided it would be fun to play a joke on us. He lowered us into the water, low enough that we could have touched the waters below. But before we could be any lower into the waters, we were hoisted back up again. Then as quickly as we were up there, we were back to the boat. Parasailing was fun, I don't mind doing it again.