I hope my hair stays for the whole day

My hair is usually wavy and since it has been months since I had it chemically straightened, my waves are coming back. I usually just straighten my hair but for today I decided to try something new. I curled it. It was a task since I have been leaving the house with still wet hair for the past few days. I just hope it stays this way for the rest of the day. Like me, my hair has the tendency to be stubborn. But please for today I hope it cooperates.

I don't know how things will pan out today. So far it has been a slow and nice start. My sister Jehann sent me a text message 7 minutes into midnight asking if who was first. She was. She beat my mom by a few minutes. Mama has been the first one for the past few years except this year. Papa doesnt count since he functions on Philippines time so he usually greets me when its the 28th there. But he made up for it by greeting me again today. My brother sent me a text message and he just had to add that "lagas ka na" (you are old) part. Whatever. Age is all but a number. Besides I am just a year past thirty. My sister Camille decided to post a blog entry as her way of greeting me. That was nice. K. Miles called all the way from Manila and good thing I was already awake. Soon, greetings came in through calls, text messages, emails and messages. It really has been nice and I am grateful.

I was supposed to wear a dress today which wouldn't be the case if not for my birthday. But the weather has been mean to me the past two years. There was a heavy downpour last year and this year thought its sunny, its breezy which still translates to cold temperature. I have not been one to compromise comfort with fashion so I decided to wear dressy jeans and a nice red top instead. I would probably still change into the dress later before going to mass and to dinner plans with my sister and cousins. I hope my friends get to come too. Unless my birthday falls on a Good Friday, I always wear red. I don't know if it has some big significance but it has been a tradition of mine.

As what I have said in my previous post, I really don't have much expectations for today nor do I have concrete plans. I prefer it that way. I prefer that life surprises me. I would be more grateful and appreciative of whatever it is when it happens that way. I also decided to celebrate my birthday the whole year so life can surprise me any time. So I guess we would just have to wait and see what life has in store for me.

My horoscope for today:

It's okay to let down your guard and show all your honest emotions today. When other people have a positive impact on your life, you should let them know. Be prepared to communicate how other people make you feel today, because you will be surrounded by big personalities and bigger acts of generosity. You will experience a wonderful mixture of intimidation, excitement and gratitude. Let these feelings inspire you, and you will be unstoppable.

the other one said:

If you've been wanting to rev up your romantic life, now's the time to step on the gas, baby. Race ahead -- you look great in fast motion, and whoever can keep up with you will love the pace you set.

Okay. =)

Concert Photos

This is the photo of the guys from the concert that I mentioned in this post. Its only four of them. I have no idea where the fifth guy was at the time this photo was taken. More photos can be seen here and here.

Officially gone bonkers

I have officially gone bonkers for AAO. He had a good performance again last night which got him a 26/30 score bringing his total for the two performances to 47/60. His and Julianne's combined score puts them at the top 3 of the competition which is good. He was cute once again although I wasn't so sure about the whole gray suit/pink tie thing but it worked for him. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I don't know what he was going to do with the "headband" or bandanna when its time for the ballroom dances. Well, he found a way...not wear it. I am not used to seeing him without it but it works. They were synchronized with their steps and he was light on his toes which was expected for quickstep. They danced to "Two Hearts" which I first heard back in grade school or high school. Hearing it brings me back to those times. Once again he looked like he was having fun and that smile was there again. I really do not mind seeing that smile every week. I used up all my votes just for him both online and phone. Yup, I have gotten really crazy. LOL

My sister, Camille's post about our loss.

Why?

We are not blood relatives but you are the older brother that I didn't have. People were teasing me that I wasn't the "suhag" (eldest) anymore but it was already you. I actually didn't mind. I don't know how or when you came into our lives but I just remember you being there since I was young. When Papa and Mama had to leave us for business, we were always left under your care. You kept us company, picked us up from school, treated us to dinners, shared jokes that never failed to make us laugh. We were not really relatives and yet our whole family was part of your wedding. Your children have been like our niece and nephews. Mama looks after your four children as if they were her own grandchildren. There were times of late that Papa and Mama didn't approve of the choices you made but their affection for you has never wavered. As Papa said you have always been good to his children, us, the four of us. For that alone, we could never abandon you.

But why? Why did you abandon us? Why did you leave us in such a manner? When I first heard about it, I couldn't believe it. I chose not to believe it because I thought you were better than this. But Papa confirmed it and I still could not believe it. I was too numb to really know what to feel about it. Details are still a blur until now. After all it has only been a few days. Part of me wants to know how you ended it but part of me doesn't want to because by then it will really be real for me. I wish I can understand why but unless you left us with something, with anything, I don't think we will ever know. Things have not been good in your life of late that much I know. But I didn't think that it was too much for you to end it this way, even contemplate it. You have four reasons, four good and wonderful reasons to turn your life around but I guess even that was either too much or not enough. I don't know which one.

I really do not know what I feel right at this very moment. Should I be mad that you were so selfish to just think about yourself? Should I be disappointed that you didn't even bother to reach out to someone, anyone when you felt that life was caving in on you? Should I feel regret that it seemed no one was there when you needed someone that most? Could I have been that someone? Should I feel sad that you wont be there to buy me the lechon that you promised to give me when I go home? I am not sad about the lechon, but I am because of the promise you made to me. Should I be happy that at least now you will be rid of whatever it was that was bothering you so much. Whatever it was that was burdening you so much that you couldn't take it anymore. Should I be happy that you may have found the peace? The peace that may have been elusive and unattainable.

I am sad for your children that even though you may not have been the most perfect and present parent but I know that you love your children more than anything in this world. I am sad for your family because you have left this big hole in their hearts. I am sad for your friends who will never hear your jokes and have the blessing of being in your company. I am sad for my family because you are a big loss in our lives. I am sad for my siblings and myself because we don't have a "magurang" (older brother) anymore. I am sad for me because I didn't get to tease you and be teased by you even for the last time. I am sad for this world because despite of what people say it cannot be denied that we have lost such a wonderful and caring person in you.

I haven't cried since Saturday but I am crying now. Rest in peace, Mano Lito! Rest in peace.

Journal pages

I will admit I am sentimental. I keep every little thing that is connected to a happy, fun and memorable moment: letters, cards, concert ticket stubs, movie ticket stubs even pages of my past diary/journal/planner. Name it, I have probably kept it. I need to come up with a way to really organize them so it will all be in one place because right now its sort of all over the place.

Today, I decided to do a mini spring cleaning. Underneath all the old receipts and unsent cards was this little bag and inside seemed like pages from my past planners. I read though them in amazement and surprise. I couldn't believe what I wrote then. I am even embarrassed at some of the things I wrote but it sure did bring back memories. However, I don't know what to feel when I chanced upon these 2 pages.

I cannot believe I used to remind myself of the shows that I want to watch but more than that according to these, I received "the most shocking, surprising, confusing email" on November 28, 1998. What was in the email? I wish I know. I wish I remember. And apparently I discovered on December 1, 1998 that it was written in a drunken stupor. By who? I don't know either. I tried checking my inbox if I kept anything from that date...nope. Then I realized that it could have been probably sent to the email address that I used to have. The problem is I don't know my username or password. Boo! And worse, it could have been the email address that all of a sudden I wasn't able to access. What do I do now? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! I guess I will never ever know. Unless of course for some strange twist of fate I printed it then and stuck it somewhere I will be able to find one day. But for now, I guess I am just left to wonder what was in it and if it could have changed the course of my life.

My Birthday plans so far...

subject to change, postponement and cancellation...

Birthday itself...

• work
• mass
• dinner with sis and cousins..where? no idea

Birthday weekend

• novena of Sto. Nino/meeting of AnTaclobanon
• invite from Chary and Xsty

I am turning 31. I am not ashamed to admit it nor shout it to the world. But shouldn't I have some thing like a "31 things I want to do on my birthday" or "31 things I want for my birthday" or "31 'something' for this year" type of thing to commemorate my birthday? I don't but its still early and I still have a few days to go. I can still come up with a list or something.

I do have a sort of "what I want for my birthday" list since people are asking for what I want. But I doubt it has 31 items on there. The items are not overly expensive or hard to find either. Contrary to what a lot of people think, I am pretty low maintenance. A greeting is even enough. But since , they ask then I have an answer =) and actually this also the list for me.

• Nikon D50 or D80
• I know this is a bit much but I can dream, cant I? I think I will save up for this and its going to be my gift to myself. I always gift myself on my birthday and who knows this could be it for this year.
  
• IPOD
  
• I don't know why I never got one for myself before. I think I belong to the 1% of the population who doesn't own one. I thought I just wanted a shuffle but my cousin said the track info isnt visible, so whats the point. I think a nano would work for me. I may have a big cd collection but I dont think I am going to upload everything.
• Lomography camera
• Skagen watch
• Roswell DVD Season 1-3 or Felicity Season 2-4
  
• Everwood Season 2-4 would have been better but its not available yet (why???)
  
• Chemistry cd - Refo(u)rm (a Japanese duo)
  
• Anything Tokidoki
• Anything Harajuku
  
• See a pattern there? I am going all Japanese LOL
• Make up (I am a make-up artist on the side, usually just my family members and they are not very few.)
• kit - a bigger train case. The one I have does not have enough room for all of my stuff
• brushes
• Benefit
• Some Kind-a Gorgeous
• Big Beautiful Eyes
• Hoolah
  
• Smashbox
• O-Glow
• Stila
• Eyeshadow in Kitten
• Gym bag ( I think I have to go back to the gym first)
• A gift certificate for a facial and massage with my facialist (Geez I sound so L.A. hahaha but I need one. Its been awhile.)
• ANYTHING!! Because I appreciate anything especially if I know that the giver put effort into it and knows that its something "perfect" for me.

and the best of all....

• Remembering. Just remembering is enough for me.

Indeed it was "Rock...Shock...& Awe"

It was my third time watching Bamboo and my second time of ParokyaNiEdgar but it still feels like the first time. The L.A. concert was sold out since the Monday before and good thing I was able to get our tickets with no problems. Tough the concert wasn't until 7PM, the doors open at 6PM but I heard that people started lining up as early as 1:30 that afternoon. AvalonHollywood was where it was held and I liked it there. It was big enough to fit all of their fans and more. I was told that it can hold up to a thousand. The stage was big enough and the lighting as well as sound were really good.

I went to the concert with my sister, cousin and friend. We all planned on meeting up early since it was a weekend and knowing how horrendous L.A. traffic can be especially the 101. But as all plans go, we didn't get to meet early as planned. We got there around 530 and there was already a long line, almost half a block long. Good thing, my friend Isy got there before we did so she was able to secure our spot in the line already. I think it was a good idea that while the people were all lined up, they already checked our IDs to identify those who were already legal to drink rather than wait when they were letting people go in. This way getting in was a breeze and hassle free. It was a bit dark going in that we had to navigate our way around to get to the floor near the stage. There was a table selling some concert merchandise. But no CDs though which was what I was hoping for. There were shirts and some I dont remember. Once inside, there was still a big space on the floor near the stage so we placed ourselves right away on what we thought was the best spot. It still was the best spot until we found out that it put us right below the giant speakers which proved to be a not so wise decision later on. By then, people have been filing in and with fear of losing a prime spot, we stayed, hoping and praying that we would be alright after.

The thing with watching concerts of Filipino artists is the high probability of seeing familiar faces. We may not know each other personally but the same faces have figured in other concerts before. This much I expected but not the sight of the five Caucasian guys right in the middle of an All-Filipino crowd. I was taken aback, I will admit and add to that when I caught a glimpse of what two of them were wearing. One had an "Ano Ka?" printed on his shirt and the other one which I found the most peculiar was the "Girls Scouts of the Philippines" on his shirt complete with the emblem. But I still wondered if they knew what they were in for. Still, it was nice though to see non-Filipinos appreciating our music. I thought that seeing them there was already a surprise, little did I know that I was in for a bigger one. When Bamboo came out, I think he sang if not "Truth", "I-You" I am not definite. (I am a bad fan!). They sang along. Nothing extraordinary there, the song was in English. But when they sang "Masaya" now this was a different story. The guys sang along in Tagalog with nary an accent. In fact I think they have better Filipino accents than some of those born outside of the Philippines. These drew stares from everyone within the immediate vicinity, including me and soon enough I think the news spread. We can't make comments like "ang tatangkad naman ng mga ito" anymore because we will be understood. The clincher though was when "Noypi" was sang. One of them hoisted his other friend on his shoulder and coaxed everyone to sing along to "hoy Pinoy ako, buo aking loob, me agimat ang dugo ko". Top that! =) As soon as Bamboo's set ended and the stage was being set up for PNE, girls swarmed to them to strike up a conversation and once again I was surprised to know that they were actually conversing with them in Tagalog...straight Tagalog, none of those Taglish ones that I myself is guilty of sometimes.

It was PNE's turn soon and as always theirs was a wacky and crazy set. I am not sure if they had a set playlist since the vocalist, Chito, was getting requests from the crowd and was singing pretty much everything that was thrown at them. He made some potshots about other people, other bands which were really funny but I wont repeat so as as not to incriminate Chito and the band. Funny how at one point he was speaking in English when he saw the five guys not knowing that they understood Tagalog pretty well. They even sang along to PNE songs as well even to a point of knowing the lyrics more than we did. Both bands were only supposed to sing a certain number of songs but PNE kept on playing until they were told that it was enough much to the delight of the crowd. But alas, some things do not last forever, and the concert ended after almost 3 hours. Not bad. But it seemed no one didn't want to leave just yet until these burly security guys started ushering us out of the place. Oh well!

If one needs proof of how much fun last Saturday's concert was, I have one..I don't have a voice. I am still hoarse from all the shouting and singing along that happened. Good thing its the only thing left that I have to deal with as of today because after the concert I could barely hear on my left ear. Being underneath those big speakers was the culprit. Until Sunday, I could hear a ringing sound which was starting to worry me but I woke up this morning feeling better. Its just my voice now. My throat isn't sore and all but I am barely audible and if I don't want to lose it more, I would have to lessen talking. But this is one small thing to deal with in exchange of the great time at the concert. Like what the poster said, indeed it was the "Ultimate Pinoy Rock Experience".

(Photos to follow)

I love Mondays!

warning: fangirl ahead

Okay I really don't like Mondays because its when I am really sleepy not being able to get enough sleep over the weekend. Its the start of the work week too so how can I look forward to Mondays? It used to be just one reason: WentworthMiller but now I have another reason to love Mondays...ApoloAntonOhno.

And what makes the second reason so much better? Its ApoloAntonOhno, weekly AND dancing.

Ever since the 2001 Olympics, I have been a fan of his and had to contend with the fact that I can only pretty much hear or read about him every four years. But not anymore. Truth is, I was shocked to know that he is part of Season4 DancingWithTheStars. When my shock had ebbed, it turned to excitement and I couldn't wait until March 19 since that was when the show would start.

I really didn't know what to expect. I know he is an awesome athlete but dancer? He is a skater after all so he wouldn't have much of a problem as far as being flexible is concerned. But can he dance? But whether he was a good or bad dancer really didn't matter to me. Being able to see him weekly was enough. He and his partner were the last one to dance and I must say he did really well considering he is practicing for speedskating and dancing at the same time. The judges liked his dancing and gave their team one of the 3 highest scores of the night. Not bad. He is also competing the same time that he is on the show. That is tough. What I noticed while he was dancing was he was smiling a lot. He looked like he was having so much fun out there considering this is probably out of his comfort zone. No complaints from me since he is so darn cute when he smiles. He also kept his "signature" headband though I don't know how he will be able to pull that off when it comes to the ballroom dances. I guess I would just have to wait and see. The "soul patch" is staying too. Oh did I mention he is so cute when he smiles.

I am not much of a fangirl who gushes at all the celebrities, male or female I admire. In those rare cases that I am its not like this. Its not to this level. I was gushing all night and I couldn't help but smile and ogle at the tv. Goodness, I am even embarrassed to say that but its true. While watching, I was exchanging text messages with my cousin and all I could talk about was ApoloAntonOhno or AAO as some forums have named him. Watching DWTS has been a family thing for us since last season. We all voted last season. This season is no exception so I voted through phone and of course I voted the maximum number (11) I could for AAO. I definitely have to do my share to keep him there week in and week out. With just 2 more episodes of PB left for the season which translates to only 2 more Wentworth, I have to make sure to keep the other reason why I love Mondays longer than that. Until the finals perhaps?

Its a surprise duh!

My birthday is 2 weeks away. People have been asking me what my plans are and honestly I don't have any. I don't know. Besides its nothing new since I don't usually make plans for my birthday. Or maybe I am hoping someone out there will make the plans for me. See, I have never been surprised. I haven't had a surprise done for me. Last Friday, my cousins sort of did but I wont count it since I already knew that they were doing it but just not including me. But come on, you don't "kidnap" someone who is turning a year past 3-0.

First, I will say that I appreciate what my cousins did for me. I am grateful that they took the time to plan and execute what they did. Their heart was in the right place but I guess I was just expecting or hoping for more. See, I knew they were doing it for my cousin C whose birthday was on the 6th. But I wasn't so clear about the details other than we, the cousins have to be at my aunt's house on Friday at 8pm. So I was there and frankly I didn't see the whole point of having it on a Friday when her birthday already passed and we have a party to prepare for that Saturday. But I went because I didn't want to be the "party pooper". My cousin C was in their living room while I was getting ready to eat when all of a sudden I heard some commotion and saw C being dragged outside, her head covered with a bonnet. Once she was out of the house, I turned my attention to my food when all of a sudden I saw another cousin coming at me with a bonnet in her hand and before I knew it, it was put over my head and I was dragged outside as well. I knew where we were headed since my aunt made mention of the plan to me (see, this is why it doesn't count) but I didn't say anything. I didnt want my cousins to feel bad. I was short of "manhandled" by my cousin as she brought me to the hotel room. Once there they pelted us with those smelly silly strings that stuck to my hair, made us blow out the candles from a homemade cake (it was good), gave us our "birthday buckets" (which included things that they found funny but I didnt - a book on exercising and a headband with a veil attached to it, like those worn by a bride-to-be on their bachelorette party) and we ate pizza, cheese since it was Friday. Pizza!!?? when I was so hungry and craving for the fried vegetable lumpia that was already soggy on my plate left at my aunt's house. Fine, I am not really enjoying this but whatever I was already there. I didn't think that we were going to stay long but my sister, the accomplice had brought my weekend bag there which meant that we were sleeping over. Okay when at the back of my mind, I had a list of things we need to do for the party the next day.

I thought my cousins had a good plan for us the birthday girls. But it didn't turn out that way and didn't seem like they did. After we ate, we, actually they watched some videos and I slept. I think it was just a reason for my cousins to have a sleepover when we could have done the very same thing, with much more things to do at someone's house. Not in this tiny room with 2 beds, close to 15 people inside, and kind of smells like pee. But I sucked it up even if I ended up cleaning after their mess. I was constantly picking up remnants of those silly strings before they dry up and cause damage to the room. I appreciate the "surprise" but I couldn't help but feel like a tag-along. Since the plan really didn't include me initially. Why I was at the last minute? I have no idea. I don't mean to whine and be a brat about it but if they were going to do something nice for me and C as a way of showing their appreciation for us, I sure didn't feel that way. I cleaned and didn't sleep comfortably. Instead of letting us have the beds all to ourselves, there were 4 of us on each one and C even ended up sleeping on the floor. But C and I toughened it up but we left as early as we could the next day. I really didn't gain much from it. I think my cousins did more than me. I also felt like I was just used as their excuse so they can sleep at a hotel room, use the swimming pool or be away from their parents. Oh well! Its done and over with. I really wasn't expecting something extravagant or grand but if the goal was to make me feel special well I felt anything but. I was just tired and felt yucky. If my future "surprises" will be similar to these, I take it back, I don't want to be surprised anymore. But thanks just the same.

Can I have some cake?

You Are Strawberry Cake

Fresh, sassy, and romantic. You're a total flirt, who never would turn down a sugary treat. Occasionally you're a bit moody - but you usually stay sweet!

What Kind of Cake Are You?

Wii crazy

I will be first to admit, I am not a big gamer. I even suck at DanceDanceRevolution, if that is even possible. In fact, my interaction with interactive games is probably less than .01%. The most time I had with games was probably at the height of the "brick game" or Tetris. Other than that, not a whole lot. So it is very surprising that I took a liking for the new Nintendo Wii. I have heard of it, who hasn't, but as with all the other consoles out there, I couldn't care less since I don't play much. But I was at my cousin's house, with nothing much to do and with the prodding of my cousin to try, I did. Actually, I think they just wanted another player or they didn't want me to just be staring at them. We played the Wii Sports - tennis and bowling. Here it is, in real life I also suck at both well more in tennis than in bowling. At least in bowling I have had my share of strikes. Tennis, on the other hand just doesn't love me. So it was exciting to be able to return a serve much more being able to deliver an "ace" and only get strikes and spares on bowling. None of those gutter ball ones. I got a 223 out of a perfect score of 300 in bowling. In real life that is not even a possibility. Getting a score of 150 is even good enough. Sure, my right arm hurt for probably two days after our "little" game. I am not surprised since it was probably the most exercise I've gotten in the past few months. My muscles got a shock. But it was worth it. It was a good source of exercise since my entire body was moving.

I have never bought a game or a console in my life unless its for a gift but I am actually thinking of buying one for my own. Its not that expensive too. Its a hot commodity right now with everyone clamoring to get hold of one. I know a lot of my relatives are. So it seems every relatives' house that we will go to there will be a Wii there. I am not rushing out though to buy it because (1) I don't have space in my room for one; (2) if I want to play I can always go to any of my cousin's house and I will be hitting two birds with one stone - be able to play and have some company. When I am living in my own house, then I will buy one but I think by the time that happens, something new is already out in the market. Oh well.

Last night, Wii was all we talked about. My cousin is not only buying one but he plans to organize like a "Wii party" or "Wii tournament" for us cousins come summer. It should be fun. Some friendly competition. We will see. Well for the meantime, they have to get hold first of a console before all these plans come true. Getting one is already a lot of trouble. Only a few gets released every week and to have the best chance of purchasing one, falling in line at 6 AM outside the stores would be it. Hmmm...no thanks for now.

A little bit rusty

After almost 10 years of not baking, I started baking again last night. From my previous posts, I have this "love-hate" relationship with red velvet cupcakes from Sprinkles. My first experience wasn't all that pleasing but my second one was. The shop is so far away from me so its going to be hard when I have one of those days that I am just craving for some cupcakes plus they don't come cheap ($13/4 cupcakes). I thought why don't I make this. So I searched for recipes online and I found one that has been tried and tasted at Dessert Comes First. I also went to as far as making the cream cheese frosting which is a good compliment to the cupcake.

Like I said, I haven't baked in over 10 years so I was a bit lost last night. I was also used to just using the hand mixer so my sister's Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer needed some getting used to. My sister who took up Hotel & Restaurant Management and went to baking school was giving me a hard time. We had all the ingredients except.. we didn't have enough of the red food coloring that the recipe asked for. We lacked another 1 ounce and no one wanted to go out to get some more, so what do we do? We improvised. We just put in an ounce and hoping that it would still be red velvet and not some pale looking thing. My OC-ness came to effect again because I don't know how many times I went over the recipe, making sure I didn't miss an ingredient or a procedure that could make my cupcakes a flop. Good thing, I got everything covered. It actually came out pretty good. It tasted good too that's what my relatives said. It wasn't over beaten. It was fluffy. It was moist. It smelled good and just had that hint of cocoa in it. Baked just right and best of all it was still red. I still have to taste what I made. For some reasons, I can't eat what I make right away. My only mistake was, I filled the muffin cups too much that it overflowed but it wasn't something that couldn't be remedied. I trimmed the extras away before putting in the frosting which came out good as well. (Pictures to follow)

I didn't think I would miss baking this much but I do. I think I will start baking again. I have been telling myself for a long time to bake again but just didn't get around to doing so until my aunt asked me if I knew how to when I was pointing out to my sister that the banana cupcakes she made was over beaten. My aunt didn't know that I baked, way before my sister went to school for it and now turned it into a business. Even in high school 6th grade even, I was already baking. Our parents anniversary is in May and in the Philippines that's summertime which means no school and therefore no allowance. We didn't have money to buy them presents, but we had ingredients readily available to us since we had a bakery back then. So, I would bake my parents a butter cake with butter cream icing and that was our present. It was always a hit.

Taking up culinary arts in college actually entered my mind but at that time, being a chef just wouldn't make the money. I also thought this is a hobby of mine that I love to do, I don't want to be doing this for a living. Before I knew it, I have stopped baking all together that is until last night. Last night's experience actually made me re-discover that passion for baking. I felt good especially after it came out well. Now I have a list of what I want to bake in the future.. cupcakes, cakes, creme brulee, panna cotta, anything and everything. I thought I was a bit rusty but I still got it and that makes me so happy.