Being set up on a date

I don’t like being set up on a date. I don’t know why. I haven’t even given it a try but I already don’t like it. I guess because there are just too many expectations and pressures for me to handle. Not only do I have to think about my date’s feelings but also that of who set it up. There are far too many people involved when the only ones who matters are the ones on the date. But in this situation, that is not the case because even before the date could even start, there are already the “good shots” as what I would call it. The spreading of the “good” points of the person before the ones involved can make that decision themselves. I prefer that if I do go on a date that my date and I start off on a clean slate. No preconceived notions about each other, no prior judgment and thus no prior expectations that may not be met leading to so much aggravation and frustration. Not only that, there is also the obligatory “after the date” story telling and in an effort not to sound like an ingrate, people tend to say what he or she thinks the other person would want to hear even though it is farther than the truth. And you hope it ends there but no, there is the question of whether I would want to see the person again. In some cases, I may not be back yet from that date and the second one is already being planned. And before you know it, by the end of the 2nd date, the engagement, wedding and everything else after that is being discussed.

I think it all boils down to control. I don’t like giving up control of my life. It is the only one I have somehow of a control over and relinquishing that control over to some people is just not my thing. I know that they have my best interests in mind but sometimes I think that there’s an ulterior motive because they can gloat as to being the responsible one when two people do get together and are happy. They will be saddened if things didn’t work out. Then again, he or she will also get the brunt when 2 people do come together and discovered later that they were just wrong for each other. I don’t like it when people make my business their business too. I feel like saying sometimes, “Get a grip people! Last time I checked, this is my life not yours!” I appreciate that they look after my well-being but there is a big difference in being helpful and being intrusive especially in situations that they are not needed. I am so glad that my parents have been pretty much hands off on these things. Even when they see that some of my siblings’ previous and current relationships are not exactly helpful, they still keep a distance because that how it’s supposed to be.

I guess what I want is that of a more “romantic” or idealistic” setting. One, of me finding him and him finding me. That the two of us decide on what we are going to do with our lives and not other people. One of which the two of us are responsible in finding that happiness in each other and not other people finding it for us. One of which we will be the only one responsible in the flourishing or the demise of the relationship. One, where the only thing that matters is what we feel towards each other and not other people to consider or to think about. I just think that down the road it is a better story to tell than anything else.