A Sad Dose of Reality

OUCH!!!

That was my initial reaction when I watched The Oprah show today! They were discussing this new book on relationships called "HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!" which was written by two people who used to write for the series "Sex in the City". I am definitely getting that book. Its on the top of my list of books to check out this weekend.

Basically what was discussed in the show? Well, Greg Behrendt, one of the authors. Yup, the book is co-authored by a guy which makes it an even bitter pill to swallow says that if a guy makes excuses of not being with you, it only means one thing..."He's just not that into you!". A couple of guys on the show actually collaborated this when they explained that they come up with excuses like..."I lost my phone!", "I am busy with work!", "I am not ready to be in a relationship!", "I think we should just be friends!" and others all mean one thing... That these guys are just not feeling what we women expect them to feel. Guys refuse to tell us the truth and would rather sugar-coat reality because they do not want to hurt the women's feelings. Considerate? Yes! Nice of him? Sure! But they are just feeding us lie after lie and here we are women we tend to make excuses for these guys and rational the whole behavior when it only means one thing...They are not into us the way that we want them to.

It was like a dagger and a sad dose of reality because I find myself in some of these women's stories. I found myself empathizing because God knows I have been in that situation or I might still be in that situation. There are the no communication for long periods of time and all of a sudden he makes his presence felt and its not even in the most personal way. I think the sad thing was and it was never emphasized enough in that show was we allow men to do these to us. As I was watching the show, I could only mutter expletives to myself because of the truth that it has let me see. It has opened my eyes to the sad reality that all these time I was just fooling myself. Damn!!! Its a tad too hard to fathom but its the truth, that from now on I have vowed not to do anymore. Screw it! Isn't it ironic though that my thoughts earlier were all about the possibilities and then BAM! I watch the show and it totally changed my perspective about the whole thing. I am not going to think about it anymore! I am not going to continue making excuses! I am going to stop coming up with explanations for his behavior! I am going to stop rationalizing the situation until my head hurts. My friends will probably tell me when they read this blog is..."We have been telling you that!" But crazy me, I didn't listen. I didn't heed their advice. I guess because I felt that as friends they will still love and care for me regardless of my decision but here hearing it from a total stranger just makes the situation so much different.

Okay....Got to get that book and start reading it!! I may even buy some more and give them to friends. Guys probably are thinking that their covers have been blown! Oh well...That's life!