High octane

I am both tired and refreshed if that even makes any sense. I am tired and sleepy because I had an insane idea to clean my room at 11PM. Refreshed because I have finally got rid of some of the junk that has been accumulating in my room. Its liberating to not see a lot of clutter.

It all started when I was folding my clothes after doing laundry and before I know it I was arranging them according to color and turned my attention to my books and fixed them, threw out some of the useless papers that I just shove into my desk without even looking at it. All these while listening to some good music. Usually when I am cleaning I put in some rock music or dance music but since it was almost midnight and lest I want to be the source of my aunt's grouchiness the next morning, I settled for jazz - Mishka.Adams and world - Cynthia.Alexander. Not really the type of music I would listen to when I am cleaning but I compensated by popping some Sour.Patch.Kids gummies. So I was running on high octane fuel so late at night.

As I was sifting through the tons of papers, mails, cards on my desk, I came across letters that I haven't read in a long time. One was a letter from a very good friend of mine given to me before I left. She spoke of our friendship being able to stand the distance that will be separating us and she was right because it has been 8 years and I can safely say that our friendship has endured if not improved through time and distance. Sure, we may not talk to each other as often as we would want to given our busy lives but the fact remains that we both know that we will have each other's undivided attention when we find ourselves online the same time or when I get the chance to call her up. We can pretty much pick up where we left off. Its like we have never been apart.

Another one that I was surprised to read was a birthday card sent to me by another good friend back in 2001. It was written in her usual sarcastic, funny way but she wrote something that perplexed me. She said that though people say that the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach, the truth is..

"The best way to a man's heart is to give him your heart."

She then told me to think about it. I don't remember what my reaction was when I first read it. And now? I am still trying to wrap my mind around it. I admit I am a bit lost but maybe I should ask her about this. That is if she still remembers ever writing this to me.

There were two cards/letters there that upon looking at the postmark, its going to be 10 years next year since I got them. First class stamp was just 32 cents then, its now 39 cents. The adhesive on the envelope has dried out. The flap is easy to open. The little note in one of the envelopes is faded but still readable. The card is torn in two. I was almost tempted to read it but I decided against it. I just looked at it. I don't think things will change if I read them anyway. I actually believed every word that was written in those letters but now I wonder if it was even real to begin with or was just a figment of my imagination that I made myself believe it to be true. I don't know if it was coincidence that I was just conversing with the sender of those letters hours before I chanced upon them. The message was actually a surprise since prior to last night, the last time I heard anything was a week ago. Maybe one day I will read the letters again. For now, I placed them along with the other letters in this envelope and found a place for it on my desk.

With the letters safely tucked in, I continued cleaning and prepared my weekend bag. I usually go to my aunt's house on weekends so I pretty much just refills my bag. It really shouldn't be called a weekend bag since I usually bring almost a week's worth of change of clothes but I want to be ready for anything and it amuses my cousins so why change it. At 2 AM, tiredness came over me. Despite that it was late, I actually felt energized but I knew that I still had one more work day left on my week, I had to give in. Looking at my clean, organized room was enough to send me into deep slumber.