Smiling like a loon

Credit to Kat for the title.

I have been following up the story on one blog of this guy who has been in love with the same girl all his life. Yes, Jeff, your blog. I even made a comment on what a tragedy his life has been since this girl who is the object of his affection seems to be attracted to someone else and worse of all is the girl and the other guy has asked for his (Jeff's) help. If that isn't an "ouch" moment I do not know what is. However, there has been a latest development in this story which made me smile for Jeff. His latest entry says it all. I know that to some it may sound crazy to cling on to feelings that may or may not be reciprocated in the way that we would want it to but who are we to judge. Is this the case of "good things come to those who wait?" I hope it is. I have never met this guy, I don't even know him but for some reasons I am happy for him since reading his blog has been a part of my daily routine. Jeff said there may not be a reason anymore for him to keep his blog since the whole objective of it in the first place was his therapy and outlet since he wasn't able to tell it to her upfront. But I do hope he continues with his posts, probably just change the blog name. His latest post made me smile today.

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My sister is going to kill me for writing about this but I think this is just too cute not to tell. When my sister was in first grade, she had a guy classmate who was moving to a different city at the end of the school year. During the usual "end of school year" party for their class, this guy exclaimed to his mom that he was going to come back and look for my sister. We thought that was too cute. As years went by it was a running joke in the family but we didn't think much about it. We didn't even know what happened to him or where he was. It was just nice to tease my sister about it. Fast forward 13 years later, my sister told me that she found him on Friendster. He is now living in Illinois. We don't know what he looks like now since he didn't post a photo of himself. I asked my sister if she is going to add him as friend, she didn't want to. I don't know why. I was really surprised that she even searched for him. I mentioned it in passing a few months back because I was teasing her but I though that was it until she told me that she has found him. I guess he made a very good impact on my sister that she still thinks of him from time to time. Granted that he was just a kid then and so was my sister but his declaration to look for her in the future made a lasting impression. Or maybe my sister was just curious that is why she looked him up.

How many people from our childhood years are we curious to know what has become of their lives? I have had the same tight group of friends since high school, some of them since grade school, some since kindergarten even. But what happened to my sister made me think of this friend I had in kindergarten until she moved away after 2nd grade I believe. Melinda Villegas is her name. Since her last name was close to mine and Cleo's, during times that we were arranged alphabetically, Melinda, Cleo and myself already know to go to the back of the room since we would all be in the last anyway. Melinda was not only a classmate, she was a neighbor. Last I heard was they moved to Manila but her father still lived there until his death. After that, I do not know anymore. I remember her to be funny but quiet too. When she and Cleo would have a little "tampuhan" they always put me in the middle which I wasn't too happy about. Cleo would tell me not to talk to Melinda and vice versa. I wanted no part in it so I would just not talk to either of them until they patch things up which usually doesn't take too long. I wonder how is she now? Is she married? With children? It has been 18 years.

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They say "jokes are half-meant" so do I believe you then or am I just setting myself up for disappointment? Or I should just look at this as your attempt to be funny but means nothing?

I had a conversation with someone a few weeks back. It wasn't our usual banter which made it interesting and frankly piqued my attention. I will admit it made me smile like a loon even days after that conversation. I know that I shouldn't even take this seriously but it sure made me laugh in that time that I needed it the most. You have a way of doing that. Somehow, you seem to be there when I need some "picking me up" or when I am in need of someone who would allow me to ramble on. You are such an enigma, hard to read and yet hard to ignore. There were so many times that I wished to just erase you from my mind, from my life just like in that Jim Carrey-Kate Winslet movie but just as I am almost there, you seem to find a way and inch yourself back into my consciousness, which I welcome time and time again. It's an ongoing cycle with no clear sight of its end. Sometimes, I do wish to finally have some certainty and I wonder when that would be or if it would even be with you. Either I find that certainty or the blows to my head courtesy of my friends finally sinks in and make me face reality, whichever comes first.