She called me a toddler when I complained to her that I am feeling cranky today. We have all heard about the phase called "terrible twos" and I feel like one today. I do not know what contributed to this or if this was a carry-over from yesterday. Might be lack of sleep, stress or maybe PMS or worse all of the above. I have been in a foul mood for the past few days and much as I don't like it, I cannot help it. There are just a few things going on in my life that are contributing to this and it sucks but I just have to weather through it. I am better than this but for the time being I do feel like a toddler and I feel I need to be one. I am just acting out I guess because of all the pressure and frustrations. I think I should find a better alternative in dealing with this or maybe I just need a good rest.
Work has been hectic and stressful as it is, add to that this person who is acting as if he is the boss of me or he is in charge when in fact he isn't. He used to manage the group that was occupying the building which my boss now owns. When that group folded, he was left in charge of the building until someone buys it. So at first I was well aware of his role because our company was just leasing then but this time I don't get his interference when our company now owns the building. Sure he has been hired as a consultant since he is well knowledgeable with the area and the medical community as well. He would bring in new physicians that will rent some of the rooms in the building. That part I get but what irritates me is the fact that he sometimes oversteps beyond his boundaries when it doesn't and shouldn't involve him anymore. And that means my job. I think he is confused with the line that separates the company that he is part of with the one I am part of. I should have nothing to do with him. I have voiced this out to my administrator and he too isn't particularly happy but at this point we still "need" his services and that means we have to take it whether we like it or not for the time being at least.
I do not mind the assistance but I do not like it when he tries to impress us with all these plans which I admit may be beneficial to the whole company in the long run. However, it pisses me off when he acts as if his plans are a go when they only sound good on the ideal plane. But applied to the day-to-day operation is a totally different situation all together. Its as if he will be the one left with the responsibility to implement them and deal with the possible problems that come along. For as long as he is able to deliver to my boss what he is supposed to deliver, that is it. When we, who are left to deal with it daily, have to face the problems and find solutions for them when that would have been avoided from the very start. I do not like cleaning up a mess that someone created or worse when there shouldn't be a mess at all. He has so much plans it is overwhelming and we are going at a rapid speed. I just wish that things slow down a bit..Identify and deal with the existing problems before adding more that are potentially source of problems as well. I mean I haven't even had the time and the opportunity to address the problems that are plaguing this site that I moved into a month ago, there are already areas that were introduced yesterday that I can already see the potential of problems coming up. I want to deal with the imminent things at this point and get it out of the way or at least curb it a bit before accepting anymore problems. "Nagpapalapad ng papel kasi buwisit!"
As if work isn't stressful enough, my relatives have egos the size of the whole Americas that its putting a dent into the holiday spirit. I have been around them for 7 years and I should be used to it by now but still. I wish sometimes to smack all of them in the head that for once can they look at the bigger picture rather than being so microscopic about the situation. For once think of the whole picture and not focusing so much if whether it affects them or if they are going to benefit something or if they are going to get something out of it. It pains me to see my Lola being so sad and confused about the whole situation. My relatives are blinded by their own personal agendas that they all forget who is greatly affected by their actions..my Lola. Its infuriating. If not only it is her familial duty and responsibility, I want my mom to have nothing to do with the whole situation. The "fortunes" that everyone seems to be so into isn't even a lot. Its not going to contribute much into their personal incomes and yet they act as if its this massive thing. I just want my mom to have what is rightfully hers and no injustice will happen. Its not about the fortune even. They can really have it but since as an heir my mom is entitled to it, I just want her to have what is rightfully hers in the first place. I mean for crying out loud these are your siblings, your own flesh and blood and yet some of them let greed and their blown up egos to cloud their judgment on what is just right for everyone and not only for one's self. I better not hear a negative word about my mom or they will not hear the end of it. They may be older than me and my mom's siblings but I hear one negative thing said about my mom when she isn't around to defend herself and when she didn't seek to be in that situation in the first place, they will hear it from me.
There is a four day holiday ahead of me and I want to take that time to really rest and take control back of my life rather than see it spiraling down. I do not like feeling this way but I guess from time to time we are forced to, only to inform us that we have a choice whether we will allow it to consume our entire life or we find a way of going around it and learning from it. Give it to me to find a silver lining out of all these but what else do I have if I will not see it that way.
ETA: Thank goodness! My boss have noticed how work has been stressing me out that he told me to take a day off next week. He thought I was already due for a vacation but nope. I am not due until next year so I guess the next best thing is for me to take a day off. I asked if I could take Friday off instead. I made it a holiday before I asked him. So my four day holiday is still on.
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