Random thoughts on an otherwise packed weekend

My closet isn't the most organized thing in the world and it's bursting out of its hinges but I know when items are not where they are supposed to be. Just with one glance I knew that one of my dresses was missing and another top has been MIA for some time. There are only 2 other closets where these two can be: my sister's closet and my cousin's closet - both in another house. But the said 2 items are neither in both closets. So that bummed me out especially since I was saving the dress to wear to my cousin's confirmation 2 Saturdays ago only to find it missing so I had to look for another dress to wear. I have an idea who may have took it without my permission. Only one other person has access to my room aside from my sister and other cousin. Well four others but with process of elimination none of them is the likely candidate. One is too young; one is a guy and 2 are not into my style at all. The only time my sister and cousin can go is when I am there so that eliminated them as well. This other person can be there even when I am not. I feel really disappointed in her. I don't want to confront her because I don't want to cause any more embarrassment. Plus, I really don't have solid proof that she took it, just a hunch. Well a hunch and a history of her taking some of my stuff before. When we used to live in one house I would go through her bag and find my stuff but this time she lives 90 miles away and I doubt if she would even bring it back. My only other chance is to find a picture of her actually wearing these two items. *sigh* I know I should be angry but I am not. I am more saddened, hurt and disappointed because I don't understand why such is being done to me when I am not selfish at all. I let people borrow my stuff when I can and she knows this. I think I am the most unselfish person there is when it comes to material things so it was so painful that such a thing is done to me. I really don't understand. I should really just let it go since its just a dress and a top. The material things I can let go but the principle I cannot. I am even willing to forget everything as long as both are returned to me, not because I want them back but because maybe in that way its her way of redeeming herself and also for our relatives to know that she isn't totally who they all think she is. But I don't know how to do about it. I guess I would have to say bye to this turquoise wrap-around dress with the tag still attached to it last time I saw it and this olive green, racer back top that I only wore once. *sigh*

I finally did over the weekend what I have been putting off for a long time now - clean and organize my closet. I stayed home pretty much all weekend to clean my room. I will sound like a spoiled brat but I miss Mana Mila. she has been our housekeeper since my sister was 1 year old, she's turning 21 this year. She would sweep our room everyday for dust but the general cleaning is left for my sisters and I to do. Here with no Mana Mila to rely on, I put off cleaning when I have a lot of time or when things are starting to annoy me. Its not something I want nor proud of but with the lack of time to do so many things, some are just put off for next time. I tossed out some of the clothes I no longer wear. I changed all the hangers so its all the same now. I read somewhere that to prevent the hangers from getting all tangled up is to get uniform hangers so that's what I did. All white hangers. I consumed 8 packs of hangers that come 13/pack. I also arranged it according to color and same with my folded clothes. My obssessive-compulsive side was in overdrive. But I am happy with the way it looks and I feel a sense of accomplishment. But sadly, I took all my clothes out of the closet and put them back one by one still no sight of the turquoise dress and olive top. =(

I can spend an entire day at a bookstore. I will find any reason to stop by a bookstore when I am at a mall. I can get lost in a bookstore. My companions don't usually enjoy it since I spend so much time but heck there are couches now in bookstores so they can either sit and relax or they can always leave me and I will just meet them later. I am a member of both BarnesAndNoble and B0rders. With my B&N card I get 10% off but I paid a fee. With B0rders I didn't pay a fee and yet I get a lot of perks. On my birthday, they sent me an email for a 30% discount off any regular price item. I get personal shopping time each month which is 10% discount. So yesterday when I found myself at the B0rders near me I got a book and 2 cookbooks at bargain prices and the cashier asked me if I wanted to use my personal shopper discount which I already forgot about. I didn't have the coupon with me but it seems that when she swiped my card, it prompted her that I have not availed of it yet. So I did. But the biggest surprise I got was when I was at the counter and there was a flier for this. Every last Wednesday of each month, my local B0rders will have a KoreanDrama Preview Party. On May 31, its My*Name*Is*Kim*Sam*Soon which is one of my favorites. I already watched this but I am curious to see who would show up.

Papa is turning 57 years old on Thursday and I laughed when I saw in the calendar section of my sister's multiply that at this age Papa, well my parents still don't have an "apo" (grandchild) and it happening soon isn't likely either. Papa has been sending feelers but no major pressure. He said that the house back home is so quiet since its just him and Mama. That it would be nice to see and hear kids running around. I told him to just borrow Ethan, my cousin's son. He said that he and Mama would travel once they are sure that all four siblings are stable (translation: married) but I told him that it looks like it will be some time before they will be able to travel. My reply was met with laughter. I told Chary about it and it seems she too is getting the same feelers. Well she is married while I am not so it is sort of expected of her. My parents has to marry me off first which is not yet in my horizon but who knows. Chary said something that made me wonder if it really is the case. It seems parents want to marry us off because it kind of means that they are relinquishing responsibility of us to someone else. But can't I be responsible for my own self? Can't I not be stable without gettingmarried? My being single has been an ongoing joke within my family and I am sure it will reach new heights when my cousin who's the same age as I am gets married in September. My uncle has offered to be a sponsor. An aunt promised to throw me a lavish bridalshower. Every time they see a wedding, they drop hints that my wedding should be like it. I know they mean well but every time I hear these only one thing comes to mind - they are all giving me away. I used to be scared that if I introduce a guy to the family, they will "grill" him to no end but now I feel that if I do, they would almost "sell" me out. They might "trap" whoever he is and not let him go. Now that's an even scarier thought.