If my dad was a "celebrity" then my siblings and I are his entourage. My brother, the chauffeur and my sister and I his social secretaries. LOL
Ever since he and my brother arrived we have been on the road pretty much all the time. Dinners here and there and meeting up relatives. Last weekend we went to Hayward CA which is near San Francisco but I didn't see a single beam or plank of the GoldenGateBridge. That is "must visit" when one finds themselves up north but we just didn't have the time. Besides, its not like its our first time up north so we have seen it numerous times before. I guess the trip to NorCal was not much for sightseeing but for cousin-seeing. I think we pretty much met up with almost everyone on Papa's side. Majority of those on my dad's side live in NorCal while my mom's side in SoCal. I feel bad that its just an hour plane ride away and yet its been ages since I was last there. But I think the four days that we were there could make up for all those times. We don't sleep until 2 or 3 AM and to think that get-togethers start at noon. What could we possibly be talking about during all that time? A lot actually. Each other's lives and other people's lives and its not the backstabbing kind, mind you, and the one thing I can discuss with Papa's side that I really don't get to with Mama's and that is politics. I think it helps that I share almost similar views about politics with them than my relatives on my mom's side. My father's side of the family is very political, our ancestors were into politics, I guess that why.
But one thing that I figured out from that four days and being in the company of my aunts and uncles there is that I can be myself. I can be totally myself, no censoring, no holding back of what I will say. I can state an opinion and be respected for it rather than get this unfavorable reaction just because I don't share the same view. I am very opinionated and will not make excuses for being one. But, I also know who to share it with and I respect people if they have a different opinion. Just don't flame me for being different and I wont do the same thing. I get that feeling with some people so rather than be pissed off I just don't say my piece, at least not out loud. But there, I can say it and whether they agree or not its taken and discussed in a non-judgemental way which is so nice.
I also felt like an adult like I've never felt before. Growing up, my siblings and I were told not to butt in when the "adults" are talking. And for some reasons, I carry that until now even when I am already an adult. There are times that even if I am sitting at the "adults" table, I still feel like this little kid with no voice or with one but not sure if it will be heard. But there, I sat with all the adults around the table and I had a voice, my own voice and the best part is they stop and listen to what I have to say.
Tell me of a family that only has nice things to say about each other and I will say that you must be joking. On my dad's side, we don't always have nice things to say about the others but for some reasons it feels to me that its not condescending or accusatory in any way. Its said in such a way that there is still compassion and understanding rather than a full on criticism. I am not saying everyone on my mom's side is like that but there are a few that are which for some reasons just contaminate a few which is a sad thing.
Don't get me wrong I love both sides of my family equally but having been exposed to one side for so long and all of a sudden being in the middle of the other one for a weekend, I cant help but see the difference. The difference is more of internal than external actually. I like who I was when I was there. I felt like I was the same one that I know, that I used to be. Not the silenced (by choice) or the restrained or the cautious one that I have become. Maybe when I find myself "losing" that side of me again, I just need to go up North and recapture it even for a weekend, even for a brief time. My aunt - a cousin of my dad who works at an airline, therefore has privileges, has offered to send my sister and I tickets to anywhere that we want to go. We just need to call her in advance. I might take advantage of such an offer when I feel "lost" again.
Ever since he and my brother arrived we have been on the road pretty much all the time. Dinners here and there and meeting up relatives. Last weekend we went to Hayward CA which is near San Francisco but I didn't see a single beam or plank of the GoldenGateBridge. That is "must visit" when one finds themselves up north but we just didn't have the time. Besides, its not like its our first time up north so we have seen it numerous times before. I guess the trip to NorCal was not much for sightseeing but for cousin-seeing. I think we pretty much met up with almost everyone on Papa's side. Majority of those on my dad's side live in NorCal while my mom's side in SoCal. I feel bad that its just an hour plane ride away and yet its been ages since I was last there. But I think the four days that we were there could make up for all those times. We don't sleep until 2 or 3 AM and to think that get-togethers start at noon. What could we possibly be talking about during all that time? A lot actually. Each other's lives and other people's lives and its not the backstabbing kind, mind you, and the one thing I can discuss with Papa's side that I really don't get to with Mama's and that is politics. I think it helps that I share almost similar views about politics with them than my relatives on my mom's side. My father's side of the family is very political, our ancestors were into politics, I guess that why.
But one thing that I figured out from that four days and being in the company of my aunts and uncles there is that I can be myself. I can be totally myself, no censoring, no holding back of what I will say. I can state an opinion and be respected for it rather than get this unfavorable reaction just because I don't share the same view. I am very opinionated and will not make excuses for being one. But, I also know who to share it with and I respect people if they have a different opinion. Just don't flame me for being different and I wont do the same thing. I get that feeling with some people so rather than be pissed off I just don't say my piece, at least not out loud. But there, I can say it and whether they agree or not its taken and discussed in a non-judgemental way which is so nice.
I also felt like an adult like I've never felt before. Growing up, my siblings and I were told not to butt in when the "adults" are talking. And for some reasons, I carry that until now even when I am already an adult. There are times that even if I am sitting at the "adults" table, I still feel like this little kid with no voice or with one but not sure if it will be heard. But there, I sat with all the adults around the table and I had a voice, my own voice and the best part is they stop and listen to what I have to say.
Tell me of a family that only has nice things to say about each other and I will say that you must be joking. On my dad's side, we don't always have nice things to say about the others but for some reasons it feels to me that its not condescending or accusatory in any way. Its said in such a way that there is still compassion and understanding rather than a full on criticism. I am not saying everyone on my mom's side is like that but there are a few that are which for some reasons just contaminate a few which is a sad thing.
Don't get me wrong I love both sides of my family equally but having been exposed to one side for so long and all of a sudden being in the middle of the other one for a weekend, I cant help but see the difference. The difference is more of internal than external actually. I like who I was when I was there. I felt like I was the same one that I know, that I used to be. Not the silenced (by choice) or the restrained or the cautious one that I have become. Maybe when I find myself "losing" that side of me again, I just need to go up North and recapture it even for a weekend, even for a brief time. My aunt - a cousin of my dad who works at an airline, therefore has privileges, has offered to send my sister and I tickets to anywhere that we want to go. We just need to call her in advance. I might take advantage of such an offer when I feel "lost" again.
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