I didn't see it coming..

I didn't realize that an announcement, well not even an announcement yet more like a permission being asked would release such a floodgate of tears from me. And like any floodgates being opened, I managed to affect the surrounding areas LOL

I don't know why I cried when Papa told me that my brother has asked their permission to marry. I made some joke about it first like "can he afford it?" Papa was telling me that we should be happy where Nicco is happy. I get that part and whatever feelings I have about it - positive or negative, what is important to me is still my brother's happiness. My eyes were starting to well up around this time. Papa sounded fine so I asked what about Mama. He said she seems fine while I was trying to hold the tears. I didn't want to let my parents know that I was crying but I couldn't hold it much longer. So finally I told Papa, "well I am crying and I don't know why". When Papa all of a sudden said that he was passing on the phone to my sister, I knew that I already got to him. I spoke with Camille and she asked why I was crying and same thing "I don't know" and she got mad at me because by this time she started crying too. Then she told me that my parents were now crying as well. The only one missing was Jehann and it would have been already an "all-star cast". Papa was saying that he couldn't imagine how he will do it when it eventually comes when right now he is already being all emotional and its my brother at that. Imagine if it was one of his daughters. Papa already gets emotional when his nieces and nephews get married, what more when its his own children.

No wonder my brother took a side trip to Tacloban after going to Cebu. I think Papa already sensed it but my brother couldn't muster enough courage to tell our parents during his stay. It was already when he was about to board the plane back to Manila that he sent our parents a text message to call him and when Papa did thats when he said it. Apparently, he and Tinggay are going back to Tacloban if not this weekend, next weekend. It was nice of him to do that, give our parents that tremendous amount of respect to ask or rather inform our parents first. I bet it wasn't easy but he knew it was what it was supposed to be and the right thing to do. Papa also told him to call Jehann and myself to inform us, being his older sisters. He hasn't done yet and frankly I don't know how I will react when he eventually does tell me himself.

I don't know what I feel about it. Sure, I am happy for my brother but I guess there will always be that feeling that we are "losing" him or something like that. Its tough and right now all my emotions are in a twist. Its been hours since I spoke with Papa and Camille and it still hasn't sunk in. I don't know when it will.

edit: It's an "all-star" cast now since Jehann just informed me that she cried too after reading this blog and Camille's blog. According to Camille, our paternal lola cried as well as our long time housekeeper. Parang di lalake yung amin na nag-iiyakan kami. LOL

R.I.P. Dondon!

I didn't really know him much. Last time that I saw him was probably 15 years ago but I remember him when he was a kid during summers that they would go home to Barugo. I know his sister more. He is my 2nd cousin, being that his dad and my dad are first cousins. That being the case, it was still a big shock to be told of what happened to him. He is dead at a young age of 28. But what makes his death beyond disbelief is not only the fact that he was young but the manner how he died. The details are still vague but as of now what we know is he was robbed and murdered. He was last seen meeting someone at a mall and the next thing was he was found in a hotel/motel room, dead. An aunt told me that either he was tortured before he was killed or he had been dead for a long time that his body was already decomposing but either way he was beyond recognition. His sister was able to identify him through his feet. This is a big shock to the family. I bet his parents are beyond consolable. He was the middle child and I believe the only boy. I hope we will see justice for what happened to him. But knowing the legal system in the Philippines, I don't know if we will see that but hopefully we will. Until then, we just have to console ourselves of a life cut so short. Rest in Peace Dondon!

Update: According to a cousin, he was tortured because when he was found, his hands were tied and his mouth was stuffed with something.

Update2: Apparently a girl was involved or it was about a girl.

Update3: Lyndon was 27 and not 28. A tabloid paper reported this incident.

Today is his funeral and its a closed casket.

From my "quiet spot"

wobbling on one leg
stepping on this tight rope
suspended in air
no safety net below
insistent on walking despite the fear
in time steady, stable...
standing with both feet on solid ground

Where is my quiet spot?

Years ago when I still used to write frequently and I mean write like poems, essays and short stories, when I needed inspiration all I had to do was to put my forehead on a table, close my eyes and tune everything out. It didn't matter if I was in the middle of writing my college thesis or during a birthday party, in a few minutes, I was grabbing a pen and paper and writing away. But now I cant seem to find it. I don't know where it went and I so badly need inspiration right now. As chairperson, part of my task is to draw up the layout of the ballot tickets and the dinner tickets. We need those in order to get quotes from printers. The layouts from past events are nowhere to be found so I am pretty much starting from scratch. I have been raking my brain for the past week or so on what it would look like. I have a vague picture in mind but its not enough to work on. I need more than what my brain can come up with at this point and the clock is ticking fast and faster by the minute even second. As if that wasn't enough, I also have to start making a draft of the program for the coronation night. I also have to finish drawing up the questions that I need to ask the candidates for their write-ups. These are only for the Ms. Maglipayon, I still have the 2008 Medical Mission to think about too. Argh!! So please, please "quiet spot" make your presence felt soon...like now or tomorrow!

In good company

How I wish TopherGrace is part of it but he is not but I am in good company nonetheless.

Things are falling into place for my first time experience to chair a major event for ATA. We had some problems when the first chair resigned due to some internal problems but that was fixed. Then, one of our candidates had to decline which brought the number to two which is an okay number (at least its not one) but would be better if we had one more. Thanks to my sister Camille, I have a third candidate to join the group and she will be flying from the East Coast. She is the first candidate in the history of the Ms. An Maglipayon to come from outside of California and Nevada and the first who was born and raised in Tacloban. Yay!

I have been to a couple of coronation nights before and save for one which was good and elaborate but too much, I felt the rest could have been better. I mean production wise and all, it could have been better but for some reasons they were not. I felt that some parts shouldn't have been part of it and such. I kept that to myself, who was I to be critical of it.

But now its our chance to change that and to change people's perception. I have no illusion of making it the best or the grandest and topping the others but I just want it to be the best that we can do. I am just so glad that the people involved and I have pretty much the same vision and are in the same page as far as what we want the night to be, to look like, etc. Its so much fun to brainstorm with people who also believes that the others could have been better. Turned out, I was not the only one with that feeling. Things are in pre-planning right now (booked and paid the down payment for the venue, we have a color scheme in place, DJ has been booked) and so far so good. I think and I believe we owe the candidates that much. Its their night to be honored and to shine after doing pretty much all the work. I think its the ATA's responsibility to make them feel that it was a worthwhile thing for them and for a worthy cause at that. I know I am making it my responsibility.

By the way, any Leyteño or Taclobanon who may have or know someone who would have research materials as well as pictures of the history of Ms. An Maglipayon from its conception back in 1924 to now, please send those my way. I would really be thankful. For the first time, we might actually have a historical background as well as an audio-visual presentation of it and proof that this was not some cooked-up plan to raise funds but is actually rooted in history. We have some materials but I think and feel there's more out there. Please!

I feel better now after reading this!

Here is your horoscope for Monday, July 30:

These clashes aren't anyone's fault, so you can stop worrying whether you're to blame. Everyone involved is going through some major transitions, and growing pains are a normal part of the process. You'll benefit eventually.

Don't love you no more??

I don't know if I should credit or blame my grade school and high school English teachers with special mention of my 6th grade teacher, Mrs. Bugal why I am so particular with grammar and spelling. We had daily spelling tests and grammar tests wherein she dictated the sentences so your answers depended upon whether you heard the sentences right or not. My classmates and I had a remedy for this so we all somehow managed. I think this is why most if not all of my classmates and I are so particular about it, a claim that they can either confirm or deny .

What brought about this post? I was watching a music video channel and the video for CraigDavid's song "Don'tLoveYouNoMore" was on. Its a nice song, catchy and has a nice melody to it. But I cringed each time he would sing the chorus.

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

How incorrect can that be? I know! I know I am being a prick about it when this is not the first song that I have heard that has too much of an obvious misuse of the English language and I am pretty sure it wont be the last. "DontLoveYouNoMore"?? why couldn't he say it as "DontLoveYouAnymore" I think they have the same number of syllables anyway. Its not going to ruin the melody. If you are going to go by the rules of proper grammar, even in mathematics says that when you combine two negatives it becomes a positive. So here by the sentence construction, he is trying to say that he still loves the girl, unless of course this is really the message that he wants to say but for some reasons not able to say it straight. Ewan! Why does the song even bother me this much. LOL

Don't get me wrong I am not so hang up on proper spelling, grammar or sentence structure. I make mistakes too and I don't take it against anyone if they do either. More than a phone call, I like writing letters. Needless to say I like receiving them as well. There is just something nice about looking through the mails and seeing more than junk mails or ads. I smile when I see an envelope with my name on it and its coming from friends or family members. My friends from high school and I wrote letters to each other when we went to away to college. Even those of us who lived in the same city, a bus, jeepney or taxi ride away, we still wrote to each other. It was nice as well to receive letters from friends who were farther than that. I just feel there is more sincerity and genuine emotions that can be felt through letters than others. Of course nothing beats face to face conversations but those that cannot be said that way are best expressed through letters. Sometimes in doing so and in our desire to capture the feeling and the moment, worrying whether we used correct grammar in writing becomes secondary, most of the time unimportant. When we edit ourselves, it becomes less natural and thus so fake. To the recipient, its the same thing. When I read the letters, I don't whip out my red pen and starts making notes on the mistakes. I savor in the moment of happiness knowing that someone took a moment out of their time to grab a paper and pen, sit down and write something to me. Unless of course its a threat or an angry one, thankfully I haven't had one of those and don't plan of receiving one. I have kept each and every letter that I have received over the years. If I lack any reading materials, I sometimes read through them once again and strangely I am brought back to the moment and the feeling when I first got it.

Wait a minute, how did a wrong grammar in a song all of a sudden became about letter writing? I guess I just made a big contradiction because here I was being critical about the lyrics of this song and yet I am forgiving and not at all concerned as long as I received it. I guess whoever was the inspiration for this song didn't mind the wrong grammar and I am sure I wouldn't mind it either if the song was for me or about me but I wish it was more of a positive note than that.

Message relay

I'd like to believe I am pretty frank and straightforward. If I feel there is something that someone needs to know I tell that person and not go through so many avenues. Of course I weigh the pros and cons first and come up with a non-threatening or "attacking" way to send the message across. Or see if the other person will take it with an open mind and heart. In that way, the other person wont be defensive and wont lead to a blowout or a misunderstanding. It doesn't always work but at least the intent is there. It doesn't always happen either. If after weighing everything it was concluded that it will still cause some friction or hurt then I guess I might as well just shut up and try to let it go or better yet post a blog about it and hoping that it wont go beyond. There is always that, I don't know fear I guess or apprehension of being misunderstood, misconstrued and of hurting or offending someone. I guess its just but human nature to feel that way.

Back in grade school I think, in one of our classes, we played this game called "Message Relay". Basically the students were divided into groups, made to form a single line. The first person gets the sentence from a slip of paper from our teacher and he/she passes it to the one behind by whispering the sentence and so on until it reaches the last person. He or she then either writes or says the sentence out loud and see how close it was to the original. The results were often hilarious because some of the sentences were so far off. It was fun then but I didn't realize I would take some life lessons from it now.

In the course that the message traveled, things get added and removed as it gets passed on from people to people that at times it takes a life of its own. At times it takes a whole different meaning than its original statement. There are times that the major parts are the ones that gets edited out, left with the trivial things that really don't make any sense but made or rather forced to make sense of but still not the same.

Some may argue it was just a game but it cannot be denied that it happens in real life too, with real issues and real emotions and this is when it becomes sticky. It becomes sticky because not everyone refers to the original sentence or to the first person in the line, to verify and make the comparison before making any conclusion. Some even go away from the line and before you know it, it has branched out to people outside of the line. I have found myself at all parts of the line. I may have passed on the message with missing or additional parts. I am sure it has happened and will still happen. But I think of late I stop and think first before passing it on. If I am doubtful of it, I still pass it on but I include my doubt with it so the next person can pick up on that and can either not go on passing it as if it was the reality or pass it on with the additional doubt.

But some people either do not have the time or the willingness to stop and ponder on what they have heard. Some just takes whatever that was passed on to them as the "truth" with its additions and subtractions and its multiplications and divisions. Its not like during the game in school where we go back to the original slip of paper to check how near or far we are from the "truth". In life, this doesn't always happen. Not everyone would go to the source to verify its validity. Why are some people like that? What stops them from doing so? Is JackNicholson's famous "you cant handle the truth" line in "AFewGoodMen" really true? That we'd rather let ourselves believe in a fallacy or a half-truth rather than face it because there is that fear that we wont be able to handle it. So we then chose to hide behind the perceived truth because either it serves us a purpose or it makes us feel good whether in the expense or not of someone else or it shields us from possible hurt and pain both to others and to our own selves.

I am not really sure what I am trying to drive at but all I know is, this game was so much more fun when it was within the walls of the classroom and not dragged on to real life. At least then we were still concerned on making sure it was right and close to the truth. I cannot say the same about real life and thats just the saddest thing.

Oh now I am a "project"?

My sister and her bf, for some weird reason has taken it upon themselves to make me into their "project". It seems she is the desperate to "marry" me off more than I am. . Okay! They have one guy in mind but he is half way across the world. We will see.



On to other projects...mine this time. I became the chairperson of this year's Ms. An Maglipayon USA Pageant on November 10 by default. I was the vice-chair but when the chairperson resigned so natural succession was for me to be chair. It was really daunting at first because I have never done this before. I have attended a few like it but never was at the helm of it. I just used to show up, pay, eat my meal and dance a little bit and then go home, that's it. But this time around its different and right now we need more candidates since one of the candidates moved up north so wont be able to actively participate. We had three which was a good number but with the refusal of one, we are down to two so we need more. So if anyone knows someone out there who fits the following criteria, please let me know. Deadline is by the end of this month. She must be:

* interested to join
* single
* 15-25 years old
* a daughter/granddaughter of a Leyteño or Taclobanon (meaning either born or resided in Leyte or Tacloban)

So please..please..anyone out there. This is really for a good cause and the prestige of being the Ms. An Maglipayon USA.



I finally booked my sister and mine's flight to NYC in September. I am going for the wedding of a friend while my sister is meeting up with some friends as well. Plus, my two other friends and their husbands are going too. FUN! All in all there's 6 of us travelling from CA. I think we got a pretty good deal for our flight ($280 including tax, other fees). Now, if only finding a hotel room is just as easy and just as cheap but so far we haven't been lucky. Hotel rooms in NYC are hella expensive. The ones that we have seen costs more than our airplane ticket for a day stay and we are staying for 4 days. The wedding is in Manhattan so we are looking at hotels nearby. A few blocks cab ride is the most that we will do. Chary and I might just wing it and wait when the date is near and hoping beyond hope that we can find one. My aunt did offer their discount in one of the hotels nearby but its not confirmed yet. Even if its only 10%, a discount is still a discount.



My sister laughed at me when I told her that I still haven't used my new phone. She thought I would have used it by today but I haven't. Don't know why I am having trouble letting go of my old 6600 phone. I guess it has become the "familiar" and venturing out is somewhat intimidating. I know my way around this phone already and quite used to it. With the new phone, I have to work my way around it, get reacquainted with it and learn it once again. I actually more than skimmed through the user guide last night (geek alert!) to familiarize myself as if this was some "science project". I know Papa is going to ask again if I already used it. He has been since the weekend and since knowing that its already with me. I have no excuse now not to use it since it has my contacts already and have pretty much formatted it to my preference. Uploading songs is next on my list which isn't all that hard to do. Okay, I promise to start using my phone tomorrow.



Based on these, it can be concluded that though it may seem like I have the classic Type A Personality, I am also the biggest procrastinator. I like making lists and checklists but I am also prone to cramming. Sometimes that added pressure of doing things at the last minute is my fuel to do better. Weird!

Good things come to those who wait...

especially when it comes to shoes.

First saw this close to three weeks ago on the website and I knew I had to go to a store to check it out myself. Alas, when my cousin and I went to the GAP store near me they didn't have a size 6, my size. So naturally I was disappointed and was thisclose to getting an almost similar pair from another store but I stopped myself. Each visit to this branch was just marred by disappointment after disappointment since the size was just not available. So in my latest attempt to check, I went to the store yesterday to see. Where it was now made me concerned. It has been relegated to the back of the store which usually means there's only a few pairs left and its not the "current" for the season. I was already prepared to be disappointed once again. So it really was exciting to see a pair in size 6, the very last pair. I immediately grabbed it, checked if it fit me (yes!) and fell in line to pay for it. I know it would set me back a few bucks. I could probably find a similar one but cheaper somewhere else if I just search hard enough but I have wanted this style for the longest time, so not buying it when its within my grasp was just unimaginable. (Obviously, I shoes!). So, imagine my big surprise that not only did they have it in my size but it was also now on sale. YAY!! I only paid less than half of its original price. Woohoo!! Too bad, it was the last pair because my cousin would have wanted one of her own. Well, its not as if we don't borrow from each other so its okay. Summer is here!!

Something new

I have never gone camping. I mean the whole outdoors, tent, bonfire, etc. type of camping. My relatives are not exactly the outdoorsy types. They also pretty much don't want to be under the sun for long periods of time so an opportunity was never seized. I don't know when they will grab that chance or if ever they would. But, I would have that chance and I am both anxious and excited. The An Taclobanon will have our yearly camping next weekend and it will be a new experience for me. I think it would be a fun thing to do. As of today, it looks like there will be around 30 people coming. Yay!

I don't know what to prepare, okay I do but its making me anxious if I would have everything. See, I have this tendency to bring our whole "house". My sister, Jehann teases me that for a weekend stay at my aunt's house, I bring a bag good enough for the whole week. I am a little paranoid like that but I cant bring everything. Good thing, our camping coordinator sent out this checklist for us to base our packing on. I admit the list is a bit overwhelming but I think I can deal with it. Some of the bigger stuff like for food, shelter are already being handled by some people so basically my own responsibility is to bring my own stuff. Herein is the big problem, well not exactly big but I really have to learn to pack lightly or just enough. I think that thought is what is making me anxious. I really shouldn't worry much since its not as if the campsite we are going to would be in the middle of nowhere. Some amenities are still accessible but as much as possible if I can do away with that, the better. I have less than a week left to ponder on this list and hopefully I will be able to just bring along the necessities plus a few good reads. This experience is definitely something out of my comfort zone and I think its nice to be able to do that. I am open to anything. This would also give me chance to use my . Yay! I hope we will have good weather.

A word from our sponsor =)

Von@ge is such a blessing. My parents can call me or my sister whenever they feel like it. Nope, no hint of sarcasm there. I actually like it especially if he calls when I really needed some company like tonight and with some news that made me excited. Sure, I dropped hints in my previous post about my "taped" cellphone and hoping beyond hope that he will get wind of it and decide to send me one. All I was asking was for his hand-me-downs. That was enough for me. Like as if its anything out of the ordinary anyway because he has been doing that. I dont mind getting his hand-me-downs anyway. A phone is still phone, doesnt matter if its new or not as long as it works. I was fine with any model for as long as its N.okia which is pretty much what he uses. I am not very particular when it comes to brands with things but with phones I am. I love that its really user friendly plus it helps to be different when everyone else here has a R@zr. Little did I know that my sister Jehann has been exchanging text messages with Papa as to what phone to send me. And tonight he told me that he was going to send my phone through his cousin (my uncle) who will just mail it to me from the BayArea. He said its going to be the same as what my sister has right now. I am not going to say which model just yet until I actually have it in my hands but its the model I want too. YAY!! I don't know when it will get here but I don't mind waiting. I actually felt sort of bad that Papa would be sending me a phone that I told him my phone still works but sure there's just a tape over two of the keys. Other than that, its still functional. He said, "well thats it, it still has tape". I admit, my siblings and I are bit spoiled by our parents. They pretty much give us what we want as long as its within our means and within reason. In return, in our own little way we have fulfilled their one and only wish for each one of us and that is to get an education and that we did. My parents are now free, no more kid in school. So, I guess we can allow ourselves to be a bit indulgent, them with their trips and us with little things that we would want. Thanks Papa and Mama!

Hire me! Hire me! (Part 1)

My sister is in the middle of job-hunting right now and one of our conversations inspired me to write this. I am no HR expert but I think I know enough based on my education, my seven month work experience and my own personal experience on how to make a good impression enough to be hired if you are a new graduate, applying to your very first job.

I went through the very same thing. Graduating wasn't the end of all the stress. In fact it was just the beginning of a totally new kind. I think, majority of new graduates feel ill-equipped to step into the "real world". We are after all stepping into unfamiliar territories, away from the "safe" and "secure' environment that school has provided us with. Much as we don't want to venture out, we do not have a choice unless being a bum is now an occupation we can earn from, then sign me up.

I have been an applicant and part of the HR so in some ways I have experienced both worlds. An elective in college that I had to take also helped. See, before graduation, all the graduating students were required to take Orient3. It was basically a workshop on how to write our resume, proper way of going into an interview, dressing (3 pieces of jewelry tops and earrings are counted as 2), attitude and etc. Basically, anything and everything one needs to know before applying for a job. We didn't get a grade but more like either a "pass" or "fail" So based on all that, these are just my personal experience and observation and in no way guarantee being hired. Just some points to ponder upon before applying.

Let's start with the most basic - Application Letter.

It is basically your short introduction so the department can have a general perception of who you are. Stress on the short. We go through piles and piles of application letters everyday that we are not able to read through each one of them. We sometimes just skim through it. It helps if there is something in that letter that will grab our attention, but not too far out that will leave a bad impression either.

Another basic component and yet crucial part - Resume.

Who would have thought that such a piece of paper can either make or break it for you as far as getting a call for an exam or interview is concerned. Some do away with the application letter and just leave a resume. I don't think doing that is breaking some HR rule or something so I think its fine. If I remember right, I only gave out my resume. As far as format is concerned, I don't think there is one standard, universal one. I have seen a lot of formats out there but one thing is clear make it short and concise as well much like the application letter. If it can fit in one page, better. The most is two pages. Limit the descriptions to at least 3-5 lines. Save the rest for the interview. Reading through a long one can be tedious that we may or may not have all the time for. It would really be sad if you got skipped because someone skipped your resume because it was too wordy. Its sad and mean but its reality. I do not see the point of the "objective" part but I wont take it against anyone if its there. Again, state just the basics here: name; address; contact number, preferably more than one; education; work experience; awards; extra-curricular activities; skills and talents - state at least three and not a whole litany. Also, work experience does not only mean those that you got paid for. Internship, volunteer even "forced" labor in the family business counts as work experience. To me, the list of references is optional. It will just add more pages. Putting "available upon request" is fine. In case, you just had to put some people, make sure they really know you. Don't put people in high offices ex. congressman, governor, mayor, the like if they do not know a thing about you. Sure it looks good on paper but if they cannot offer more information than the resume and interview, its pointless. I have seen a lot of this in the Philippines. In some cases it helps but I am not that in favor of nepotism or "palakasan". Naive of me, I know. If I was into this, I could have put the name of my dad's former colleague who was the VP I think at that time of the bank that I was applying to. But I didn't. It didn't help anyway that the one who interviewed me was a former colleague of Papa as well so why bother.

to be continued...

Perfect for summer: HALO-HALO

It's here!!

I was going to hold off buying it online and just wait if my sister would be able to find the same thing in Manila. But after telling me that this style is sold out, I had no other choice but to buy it online and so I did. It didn't get shipped until 2 weeks after I ordered it. Don't know why. Then it took another 7 days to get to me since it came all the way from Ohio. I had no idea it would be coming from there. All in all around 3 weeks, but important thing now is it's finally here. Yay! And I am trying to stay away from any site that features havaianas because I don't want to buy another one. I will just wait for the pair that my brother promised.

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It's a small world after all!!

You don't know who you will see when you go grocery shopping on what seemed to be an uneventful Sunday afternoon. We were at IslandPacific because my relatives opened a food stall over there when my sister saw someone familiar. It was my sister, Camille's friend, Derrick and with him was Jenn who happened to be the daughter of a family friend. Though younger, we have moved around the same circle since both our dads were part of the Rotary Club of SanJuanico. She was a lot younger then so I didn't really recognize here right away. But I did recognize her sister, Joana who joined us a little later. She is after all my dad's goddaughter. With them was their cousin, Chris. I never knew they were here so it was a really nice surprise to see them of all places, a grocery. Notice the broom? Kids nowadays are sure tall.

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Papa, I need a new phone!

I inherited my phone from Papa and that was almost 3 years ago. I had an opportunity to change my phone early this year but I opted not to. And now I regret not getting a new one because I dropped my phone just tonight, well actually I dropped the remote control which landed on the phone which made it fall to the ground. Two of the keys fell off and I had to put a tape over it since they wont stick anymore. I have one of those casings, though not the original ones but I am finding it difficult to remove the present one so I guess the tape will just have to do for now.

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Bummer!

ApoloAntonOhno decided after all to join the DWTS tour this summer BUT he will only be performing in 5 cities and none of which is Los Angeles.

Rising up to the challenge

The past year has been full of challenges and experiencing new things for me.

- I have never planned a party that was as grand in scale as what we did for Lola's 85th birthday last year. I did with tons of help from my cousins and also with the assistance of aunts and uncles. Everyone had fun and the party was a success.

- I have never planned a medical mission in my life and here I am from the initial volunteer to handling part of the administrative side of it.

- I have never planned a formal dinner dance/coronation night of the Ms. An Maglipayon before and here I am about to assume the chairperson position from being vice-chair.

Th first one has passed, the next two gave me gastritis yesterday. The medical mission part I am not that stressed about it since I will only be handling some aspects of it. The other committee members have a huge experience with this. But the Ms. An Maglipayon, I will be at the helm of it and just thinking about it is making my stomach do somersaults. When I became vice-chair I didn't worry much since to me it was just a glorified title for assistant and doing what the chair requests. But being chairperson entails more than that: from conception to execution and everything else in between. With the recent events, the probability of it has crossed my mind and the brave part of me was all "sure I can handle this" but when it became a reality, I was at a loss for words. Doubt somehow found its way to my mind. I have a very capable committee and a full support of the officers but there is still that nagging feeling of dread and fear of the unknown. I don't know why. All I know is I cannot let myself be brought down by it since there are so many things that I need to attend to at this point. Its going to be in November and I don't have much time. LIke all the challenges that has came and will continue to come my way, I will face it because its what I am supposed to do, it is what I have to do. Its not going to be easy and I have big shoes to fill but I can only my best. I am taking on the challenge and hope that things will turn out good not only for me but for everyone as well. Good luck na lang!

Papa got me bugged

I was really surprised to learn today that it seems Papa got wind of one of my posts that was only supposed to be for a selected few to read. How did my not so tech savvy dad able to do that? Beats me but I think I have a faint idea as to who could have been his source. I know its you!

It seems like everyone else, my parents get updated with my life through my blog. Its not like I don't call them often enough or update them enough because I do but I guess there are just some aspects about my life at this point that I am not able to share so openly with my parents. Can you say awkward? Much as I have a really good relationship with my parents, still there are some things that I don't think they have to know. Thus, the post being for only a few people's eyes and then someone blabbed it to Papa who in turn told someone which eventually went back to me. It really wasn't something bad but its a bit disconcerting to me for Papa to know from other people and not from me. Its not as if I was going to hide it forever but the point was there really wasn't much to tell him or Mama, not yet anyway so why bother. Ma-jinx pa, di bale na!

The cool thing about my dad though is even knowing something, he wouldn't come out and tease me about it or pry for more information. He is going to wait in the wings until it comes from the horse's mouth, so to speak. It may not be so big of a news nor would it bring about world peace or end the world's hunger but for a parent, he looks at it as some hope or indication that his fear is not going to be a reality. This must be his fervent wish of late. He hasn't really exhibited subtleness anyway when it comes to this, not in the past few months at least. I know Papa means well and its really funny and I appreciate his concern in some twisted way. Hay Papa! hahahaha

How sad! C-

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In all seriousness

It was just last year when I became actively involved in ATASC (An Taclobanon Association of Southern California). I cannot believe its only been a year because it felt like I have zoomed through my two year term. On my first year alone, I was entrusted to this position that I wasn't sure I was equipped to handle: mentally, emotionally and socially. Prior to this, my lone experience as far as being in an organization was still back in high school which was ages ago and I was dealing with people my age certainly not with those older than I am, some my father's age or older than that. Being the youngest, I wasn't sure if I would be heard enough or listened to. Well, I thought wrong. I think in my own little way I have let my voice be heard. But I don't think its enough. I still have a lot to learn and the first year was that - a learning year, an educational year. It was more like an "on the job training" and I think the second year will now be more of a "job". Am I prepared for the year that is coming? I don't know. I learn as I go along.

Midway into the year, people within the organization has been teasing me that I will be the next president which I take in stride and in jest. They cant be serious! I still have so much to learn. When I told Papa about this, his reply made me laugh. He said that I should get married first before I even think of being the association's president. I thought Papa was just joking, teasing me or he is just that desperate to see me married off. But I soon realized how true he was. Being an officer, an active one at that is SERIOUS, SERIOUS, SERIOUS commitment. A commitment I didn't know I was ready to give but did in my own capacity. Just two weeks ago I was growing overwhelmed with the many things I had to do. I didn't realize that my plate would be that full but it was. Aside from my my duties to the association, I also have responsibilities to my family, to my work as well as to own self. Someone pointed out to me that I was already overwhelmed with so many things imagine if I had a husband and/or children or a boyfriend to attend to on top of these responsibilities. I probably would have gone crazy. I am not complaining but it made me think how many more compartments can you build in your life to make room for everything. Or am I supposed to continue building compartments or keep the same ones but learn to prioritize? Or come to a conclusion that no matter how much we wish we just cannot do everything that we want or expected of us. That is just how life is.

I don't know until when my commitment to the association will be. Now when they tease me about me being at helm of it I quote my dad. Their responses have been funny, some just laugh and some even to the point of saying they will look for one for me. Hahaha yeah right! Am I ready for it if and when it does happen? I don't know. I guess I will cross the bridge when I get there but I do know that I have to find some sense of balance within my own life in order to be able to do that. Find some sense of balance before that. Its not an easy position and I have so much to learn still. I have so many things to learn: diplomacy, more patience, more flexibility, firmness, decisiveness, etc. What am I doing? I shouldn't even be thinking about it since its not even yet a possibility. But if there's one thing the past year has taught me is that I am not a "commitment-phobe" like I thought I was. And it helped because at the onset, committing was the huge step and I think I have proven that I can do that.

Eye to eye

I have this bad habit of falling asleep still wearing my contacts. Bad, I know! It has happened so many times and each time I find myself waking up around 4am realizing I still have them on. Only then, would I take them out then go back to sleep and put them back on like 2 hours after. Not the best thing to do but I have grown dependent on them that I have to wear them a lot. In some days when paranoia kicks in, thats when I contend myself with wearing my glasses to work. I wear disposable soft contact lenses. I have to wear them only for two weeks and I have to replace them after. There have been times that I extended it but not this time since I was told that the kind I have now would harden if its worn past its two weeks time frame. So, I keep a tab on myself to make sure that I change it after two weeks. With that in mind, I should be more cautious of wearing them to sleep but I still have difficulty with it especially the past weeks have been stressful for me. I think I have become a narcoleptic since I pretty much fall asleep as soon as I get home from work with or without contacts. Other than the occasional dryness which goes away right away, I have not experienced anything else that would be of discomfort so I thought I was fine until I saw for myself what happened to my aunt over the weekend.

She wore her contacts after months of not wearing them. She got one that was soaked in solution for some months now rather than getting a new pair. Needless to say she got an infection and was tearing up the whole time. Her eyes were itchy, painful and uncomfortable. She couldn't take them off right away since we were in the middle of the fiesta celebration. So she delayed it which proved to be a not so wise move. By the time she took out her contacts, the left eye has become embedded and hard to take out. She slept on them and the next day (Sunday) she asked if we could take her to the ER since she could barely open her eyes and it was truly painful. At the ER, it was flushed out but the ER doctor felt that he wasn't able to take all of it out so she was referred to an Ophthalmologist. Turned out that the ER doctor was already able to take it out but the rubbing and the fact that it stayed there more than it should caused her to have some abrasions/scratches on her left eye. The scratch was 10mm. Pretty long scratch. I heard the Ophthalmologist say that healing is usually 1mm/day. This meant my aunt needed to rest and treat her eyes for more or less 10 days.

1mm/day!! That scared me. Hers happened just one day and it was already 10mm, so imagine the abuse that I have been doing to my eyes. Horrors! So, now I am really trying so hard to be conscious not to sleep wearing them anymore. Its hard since I still haven't fully recovered from the lack of sleep the previous weeks and this is what is making me fall asleep right away but it would be a small price to pay rather than getting scratches and not being able to function as much as I would want to. Plus, all that medication and follow up with doctors is enough to make me squeamish. Prevention is the key now rather than treatment. Looking at how much trouble my aunt is having should scare me straight and it is.

Stressing over ironing

I have always said that among the household chores, ironing is my least favorite. I would do away with it as long as I can. If I can ask someone to do it for me, I would be jumping for joy. Anything as long as I don't do it. But... this time I really have to. And what a piece of clothing for me start on.. a barong. The hardest, most fragile and I think most complicated piece of clothing to iron. I mean, my own dad isnt a fan of ironing too or doesn't even iron but he will if its his barong. No one else irons it but him.

Why wear a barong then? I could wear anything but a barong so why am I stressing? See, that's the thing, I have to wear a barong for the fiesta this Saturday..tomorrow. Being an officer, we always wear barong. I don't own such a thing since its typically a man's piece of clothing but of late women have been wearing them too. So, I asked my mom to buy one for me from Manila. I not only got one but I have two. One is ready to wear while the other one, Papa had it made. The one that was made is much more formal and intricate which translates to higher difficulty as far as ironing is concerned. The other one is as intricate but its made like a tunic so its less complicated without all those buttons. I am leaning towards the tunic kind to wear for tomorrow.

My stress started even before I even got them. Mama told me that when I iron it that I should make sure that the sleeves wont have any folds. Okay, I am already stressed out just thinking about ironing a barong now I have this fact to add. How am I going to do that? I am really getting anxious now. How anxious? My gastritis is acting up. The only thing left is for hives to appear but good thing I never get those.

I first planned to iron it last night but I didn't feel that my mental state was ready to take on the task. I wont be able to do it tonight since I will coming home late and probably sleepy so no. I guess I am left with no choice but to iron it first thing tomorrow along with the other clothes that I have to iron *sigh* and on top of my other "to-do" things. Putting it off really isn't doing me any good because its not going to disappear when I do that. It certainly wont iron the barong either. I just have to find that stable mental state and carry on with this task. Even with ironing, I am cramming. I guess I really do better under pressure. Brat na kung brat, I wish Mana Mila was here to do this for me and I wont be stressing this much.