Dessert Fork

Father Bill's homily two Sundays ago still resonates in my mind. Sometimes I prefer not to hear the 1215 mass since this is usually the children's mass which means a lot of kids (duh!) and its the children's choir. Cute as they are, their voices are all over the place. The good thing about hearing the children's mass is the simplicity of the homily. The priests make a conscious effort that their homilies will be understood by little kids. The homily two Sundays ago was no different. I don't remember much what the reading much but its his homily that stuck with me.

At the beginning of his homily, he held out a fork and asked the kids what it was. Knowing kids they had more to say than just fork. But it wasn't any ordinary fork. It was a dessert fork and Fr. Bill said it means that "the best is yet to come". He mentioned about dessert being the best part of the meal and I agree with him. I bet all kids have been through the battle during meal time - not eating the veggies, not liking the food, not eating enough etc, etc. But once promised with dessert all of a sudden, veggies tasted good and we eat them right away. The long road and journey may be a bumpy one, a confusing one but knowing that at the end of it all there is something nice to look forward to makes all the challenges along the way worth it.

It was so fitting that this was the mass after the Ms An Maglipayon event and all those issues surrounding prior to it. The homily placed a lot things in perspective to me. It made me go "yeah, it was a stressful and challenging road but it sure was worth and fulfilling at the end of it" Fr. Bill added that we must not be sad, you see the best is yet to come. I think, feel and truly believed that after all these things, ATASC has a lot of things to look forward to. Our journey is just beginning. It wont be without road blocks and bumps but knowing that at the end of it all, there is something to look forward to makes all of it worthwhile. Again, much like dessert.

Hoping that things will be better is really what tides us over each and every bumps, road blocks and corners that we encounter. Fr. Bill made a cute story about 3 sisters - Faith, Hope and Love. Faith got disappointed and refused to trust again. Love got hurt and refused to love again but then Hope held on to Faith and Love and told them that there is a "light at the end of the tunnel". That sure we have been disappointed. Sure we have been hurt but there are still a million and one reasons why we must go on. The reasons may not be evident now but its there. Hope springs eternal indeed.

So next time that it feels like a struggle to get through the meal, just think that there is dessert to look forward to. I guess this is why dessert is served at the end of the meal. It just doesn't feel the same when we do backwards. I dont think theres a person who looks forward to soup or salad or appetizer.

updates...updates

Happy Birthday to my big, little brother!!











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I really have to do something with my sleeping pattern. Its been crazy for the past few days. I get that I am trying to gain back the little sleep I have had the past few weeks but really what or how I am doing it now isn't helping much. I wake up early (between 430-5 AM) to go to work then when I get home at around 5 or 530, if its not a gym day, I plop down my bed and takes a power nap which isn't really a power nap since I end up waking up at 9 or 10 then I have dinner. Then because I slept I am not able to sleep now at the time I am supposed to, ending up sleeping around 12 or 1. Then the cycle continues. I think I should stop myself from plopping down my bed when I get home and do something else instead, no matter how sleepy I am. That should bring my sleeping pattern to what is normal at least.

~ * ~

Who says a girl cant buy herself flowers? I did last Saturday when B and I went to the Flower District to buy the flowers for the centerpieces. I got a bunch of sunflowers. The sunflowers were big and yellow and just so beautiful and radiant like the sunshine. But, alas in my hurry I forgot it at the house where we made the centerpieces. I left it too without taking a photo of it first. Oh well on my next trip I will buy myself again and take a picture of it this time.

~ * ~

I am obsessed with food blogs lately. I have been reading a lot of them. Some of my faves are : Burnt Lumpia, Wandering Chopsticks, Monster Munching, I Can Do That, Maybahay and One Wall Kitchen. They've opened my eyes to new cuisines, new restaurants and new recipes that I cannot wait to try. Burnt Lumpia, Wandering Chopsticks and Monster Munching have listed restaurants in the L.A. and OC area which are so close to me. I have tried one that I read about from Wandering Chopsticks - KyoChon. Its Korean Style Fried Chicken which is out of this world delicious. Will make a review of it soon. I've seen recipes that I cannot wait to try. Reading through their blogs is making me miss baking and cooking so much. Contrary to what people think, I do know how to cook and bake. I just haven't done it in a long time. Maybe when I have my own kitchen. I actually will trade a big bedroom for a big and state-of-the-art kitchen. The only other thing I care about in a house other than the kitchen is a big, organized walk-in closet. Give me a big kitchen and big closet and I will be a happy girl.

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Is it really difficult to find a bank or its just me? I have these printed out papers in front of me comparing the many different accounts and different banks. I have narrowed it down to the three that are the most accessible to me. Am I over thinking this? Choosing a bank is a big thing for me, its my money after all. But must it be this complicated or am I just making it one? hahaha If I were back home, I don't think it will be such a predicament. Papa is there to help me through it. He used to work in a bank. My godfather works in a bank too so its not as such a big thing as it is to me now. back home it would just either be my dad's former bank or my godfather's bank or other bank whose manager my dad will surely know. This time around, I don't have Papa to help me through it so I have to choose wisely. Its such a grown-up thing to do. *sigh*

~ * ~

You are all probably wondering what ever happened to the event that I have been posting a lot about. The cause of my stress and anxiety - the An Maglipayon Coronation Night last November 10. Well, it went well. It was very successful based on the compliments that I have gotten from people. All the hard work sure paid off. It wasn't perfect, and I wasn't expecting it to be or nor wanted it to be, but it went smoothly. The candidates and the officers got to eat which don't usually happen with all the things going on. The AVPs, projector worked well. People liked the program because it was short and classy. I had to give a lot of time to dancing. It is a dinner-dance after all. The centerpieces were simple and elegant. My "problem" candidate came on time. It took her a long time to dress up thus delaying the coronation segment but whatever I let her be. I wasn't going to let that little detail ruin everything. She was cooperative for a change which is all I wanted. Everyone seemed to have a good time. The DJ was good. The dance floor was hardly empty which was my goal. The food was superb. The dessert-cheesecake was so good. Everything is still a blur to me and it may seem like I wasn't satisfied with it which is so far from the truth but I have a slight problem with "tooting my own horn", "magbitbit ng sariling bangko". People have been praising me about it and I don't mean to sound like an ingrate but I have difficulty handling compliments because it wasn't like it was all me. People, a lot of people helped and I feel taking the credit means taking the credit away from other people. They have told me that sure people helped and cooperated but it was me at the helm of it so I really do deserve the praise but I don't know I am just iffy with it. I guess it still needs some getting used to.

Silenced

I was humbled and silenced by my almost 3 year old niece last night. Ali is going to turn 3 this December but she continues to amaze all of us with what she knows and what she says. I haven't seen her much lately so I was pleasantly surprised to see her last night at my aunt's house. She has gotten chubbier from the last time. This picture was taken a few months ago. She has gotten taller and chubbier but still as adorable as ever. So going back to last night, her dad asked me to help her with her shoes, I was about to only to be told by Ali, "I can do it myself." In those exact words. Okay, I just watched her put them on. But then that wasn't it, as she was leaving and I couldn't help myself, I hugged her so tight and told her dad that she looked like she was inflated. "No." was Ali's quick reply. "You only inflate balloons." *thud* that was me falling off from wherever I sat. How did a three year old know what inflate mean and to associate that with balloons? Beats me! All the "adults" in the house were speechless. We were all silenced by this little girl who is not even three yet. I cant imagine, actually don't want to imagine what else are we going to hear from her as she gets older. But I do know one thing, I don't think this will be the last time I will be left speechless by this adorable little girl.

I wish I could tell you but I won't...not yet anyway

I was inspired by Gail's post that I went ahead and did one of my own.

The rules are simple: List (20) things you want to say to 20 people but know you never will. Don't say who they are. Don't ask I am not going to tell. Please dont guess either. Those are my additional rules.

1. What does she feed you that you take her side even if she is in the wrong?
2. Ang labo mo. Ang labo ng utak mo.
3. If you have something to ask me, ask me. Don’t ask people about me when I am right beside you. I don’t bite.
4. You tell people to forgive and yet you are the very last one to give it.
5. Why do you tolerate her so much? Is it because you love here or is it because of them?
6. You were there in my darkest hour and I will never forget that.
7. You like to power trip well you can have it because it seems I still have the last say anyway.
8. You have given me wings to fly and yet kept me grounded with my feet firmly on the ground.
   
9. I am very, very glad that you are here with me. Thanks! =)
10. Stop spinning lies and stories because one day you will be caught in your own web.
11. Just because you share the same DNA doesn’t make each and everyone of you the same.
12. I am glad you are who you are. I am the way I am because of you.
13. Deny it all you want, it is so clear you have your favorites and annoying part is they bask in it and you let them.
14. You are younger than me but wisdom sure don’t come with age because there have been times that you were wiser than I ever could be.
15. I am happy for you but I cant help but feel abandoned.
    
16. I am glad that you are different from people your age; you don’t let yourself be caught up with all the hype.
17. It doesn’t hurt to care a little bit about other people.
18. Stop acting as if you are better than everyone else.
19. You deserve more credit and appreciation than people give you but you don’t seem bothered by it. I admire that about you.
20. Stop insisting on things that never were, never is and never will be.

Try it! Its cathartic!

Noon at Ngayon

Noon:

Kung marunong ka nang mag-saing at mag-prito, puwede ka nang mag-asawa.

Ngayon:

Kung nanalo ka ng microwave mula sa isang raffle, puwede ka nang mag-asawa.

I won a microwave over the weekend and when an aunt was told about it, she commented that I can get married now. Okay.

Why do I win appliances from raffles? I thought this was the first raffle I ever won but I was wrong. It turned out that my mom put my name on one of the tickets she bought back in Tacloban and it won me a washing machine.

So I have a microwave and a washing machine. Does that mean that I am doubly ready to get married now? Ha! Yeah right!

We are back! We are ONE!!

It's past 3 AM and I am still awake. What is keeping me awake at this hour? Game 2 of the best of 3 UAAP Men's Basketball Championship between DLSU and UE. The Green Archers took Game 1. One more win for this season to be for the Archers! Obviously, I am nowhere near Araneta Coliseum so I am watching it through live streaming. Thanks to my subscription to AbsCbnNow. No need to fall in line to get tickets. No need to haggle with scalpers to get tickets 3, 4 or 5 times its true selling price. Downside is, instead of watching it with a multitude of people, with all the noise and all the excitement, I am watching it in the dark, with headphones on and trying to shout with no sound (thats hard to do) so I wont wake up the other people in the house. Of course, no bigger downside is the time difference. But, I don't care because...

WE WON!! 2-0!!
It doesn't matter what I write about now plus I don't think I will be able to write anything coherent. Oh wait, there's one thing..now, I REALLY want that shirt.

ANIMO LA SALLE!!!

update: boo the "animo" shirt is out of stock so my sister, rather her friend, got me a different one. But I would still want the "Animo" one.

Who knew?

A black/gray/silver dress would look good paired with red shoes. If I was a little slow in this realization, my apologies I have a similar dress as what Mandy Moore is wearing but I never once thought of pairing it with red shoes. Had I not seen this, I probably would have stuck to the predictable black shoes to pair with this dress. So, now I have another option. Well, its a bit of a deviation of what I would usually wear but I think its about time to experiment a little bit. Besides, I haven't worn my red shoes of late. Now if only I have anywhere to wear this to.

photo credit: stealthatlook.com

Yes, I know it's time!

Here is your horoscope
for Tuesday, October 2:

You're in a good place to take care of old feelings that may be piling up inside. See if you can find someone to talk things over with -- or just write it all down somewhere private, which ought to work just fine.

Private ba ang blogger???

From the lips of babies

Whoever said that kids say the darndest things is either a psychic or have met one of my nieces and nephews. I have found myself speechless when I heard stories of what has come out of the mouths of my nieces and nephews whose ages range from 33 months to 4 years old. I know I will find myself in that state again and again as they get older. Here are some examples, though not verbatim.

Ali, 33 months

"Ate Mickay, I have a problem."
"Why, whats your problem?"
"My dad doesn't want me inside the room because he is fixing the bed."


Kaitlin, 4 years old

This happened during her birthday last September 18.

"Mommy, let's go to the mall. I want my diamonds!"



Ethann, 4 years old

"Mama, I'm sad." (complete with sad face)
"How come you are sad?"
"Coz you are not happy with me!"
My cousin-in-law told him its not true. That she happy with him. He then turned to his dad, my cousin.
"Papa are you happy with me?"
"Of course I am." was my cousin's reply.
"No you are not coz you are not smiling."



Andre, 4 years old

"Daddy, you stressed me out a little bit kanina."

This was after my cousin (Andre's dad) was telling him how he must study hard in order for him to get into the "big boys" school.

Last year, today

Last year, today we were all just about to start our day when we got a text message from one of my aunts that one of our uncles was rushed to the hospital with a suspicion of a stroke. We have been through this route before with other family members and they pull through so we went along with our day. That is until a few minutes later that we learned that it was something we haven't been through. We were told to go to the hospital right away. As each text message came, things were turning more grim. It came to a point that my cousins and I would jump each time our phones would signal a text message because we don't know what it would say. Our day came to a sudden halt, left school or work and went to a hospital almost an hour away. There, we got even grimmer news and all we could do was wait and pray. What initially was thought of as a stroke turned out to be much worse..aneurysm of the brain. I didn't go into the ICU to see Tito Augie. I couldn't muster enough courage. But, as people were going in and out of his room, I already got a picture of what he was going through and it wasn't the most comforting thing. But we kept our faith that he will pull through even though the odds were against us. We were hoping for some miracle, something which we held on until the very last hour but miracle evaded us. The day ended late for us, we went home, carrying the hope that when morning comes, we will be hearing good news. I couldn't sleep that night and from that listlessness came this post.. September 2, 2006. Little did I know that when tomorrow came, we would be saying goodbye. My aunt and my cousins along with my uncle's family has reached a decision to just let go. Let go of him even though it hurts, even though its hard to accept. Let got because it will not only bring him peace but bring peace to us as well. I don't think it will ever be easy. I think we would always look back and talk about that day as if it was yesterday. I think its okay to do that because it taught us a viable lesson, that our life here on Earth is but fleeting. We are all just passing by and when its our time to go, its our time to go. We just have to be ready for it. That we must cherish each day that we are alive and make the most of it. Tito Augie's death taught me that things happen for a reason. We cannot and shouldn't question, ask why it happened to us because whatever it is, only God knows and we just have to accept it no matter how hard, no matter how painful, no matter what.

I didn't see it coming..

I didn't realize that an announcement, well not even an announcement yet more like a permission being asked would release such a floodgate of tears from me. And like any floodgates being opened, I managed to affect the surrounding areas LOL

I don't know why I cried when Papa told me that my brother has asked their permission to marry. I made some joke about it first like "can he afford it?" Papa was telling me that we should be happy where Nicco is happy. I get that part and whatever feelings I have about it - positive or negative, what is important to me is still my brother's happiness. My eyes were starting to well up around this time. Papa sounded fine so I asked what about Mama. He said she seems fine while I was trying to hold the tears. I didn't want to let my parents know that I was crying but I couldn't hold it much longer. So finally I told Papa, "well I am crying and I don't know why". When Papa all of a sudden said that he was passing on the phone to my sister, I knew that I already got to him. I spoke with Camille and she asked why I was crying and same thing "I don't know" and she got mad at me because by this time she started crying too. Then she told me that my parents were now crying as well. The only one missing was Jehann and it would have been already an "all-star cast". Papa was saying that he couldn't imagine how he will do it when it eventually comes when right now he is already being all emotional and its my brother at that. Imagine if it was one of his daughters. Papa already gets emotional when his nieces and nephews get married, what more when its his own children.

No wonder my brother took a side trip to Tacloban after going to Cebu. I think Papa already sensed it but my brother couldn't muster enough courage to tell our parents during his stay. It was already when he was about to board the plane back to Manila that he sent our parents a text message to call him and when Papa did thats when he said it. Apparently, he and Tinggay are going back to Tacloban if not this weekend, next weekend. It was nice of him to do that, give our parents that tremendous amount of respect to ask or rather inform our parents first. I bet it wasn't easy but he knew it was what it was supposed to be and the right thing to do. Papa also told him to call Jehann and myself to inform us, being his older sisters. He hasn't done yet and frankly I don't know how I will react when he eventually does tell me himself.

I don't know what I feel about it. Sure, I am happy for my brother but I guess there will always be that feeling that we are "losing" him or something like that. Its tough and right now all my emotions are in a twist. Its been hours since I spoke with Papa and Camille and it still hasn't sunk in. I don't know when it will.

edit: It's an "all-star" cast now since Jehann just informed me that she cried too after reading this blog and Camille's blog. According to Camille, our paternal lola cried as well as our long time housekeeper. Parang di lalake yung amin na nag-iiyakan kami. LOL

R.I.P. Dondon!

I didn't really know him much. Last time that I saw him was probably 15 years ago but I remember him when he was a kid during summers that they would go home to Barugo. I know his sister more. He is my 2nd cousin, being that his dad and my dad are first cousins. That being the case, it was still a big shock to be told of what happened to him. He is dead at a young age of 28. But what makes his death beyond disbelief is not only the fact that he was young but the manner how he died. The details are still vague but as of now what we know is he was robbed and murdered. He was last seen meeting someone at a mall and the next thing was he was found in a hotel/motel room, dead. An aunt told me that either he was tortured before he was killed or he had been dead for a long time that his body was already decomposing but either way he was beyond recognition. His sister was able to identify him through his feet. This is a big shock to the family. I bet his parents are beyond consolable. He was the middle child and I believe the only boy. I hope we will see justice for what happened to him. But knowing the legal system in the Philippines, I don't know if we will see that but hopefully we will. Until then, we just have to console ourselves of a life cut so short. Rest in Peace Dondon!

Update: According to a cousin, he was tortured because when he was found, his hands were tied and his mouth was stuffed with something.

Update2: Apparently a girl was involved or it was about a girl.

Update3: Lyndon was 27 and not 28. A tabloid paper reported this incident.

Today is his funeral and its a closed casket.

From my "quiet spot"

wobbling on one leg
stepping on this tight rope
suspended in air
no safety net below
insistent on walking despite the fear
in time steady, stable...
standing with both feet on solid ground

Where is my quiet spot?

Years ago when I still used to write frequently and I mean write like poems, essays and short stories, when I needed inspiration all I had to do was to put my forehead on a table, close my eyes and tune everything out. It didn't matter if I was in the middle of writing my college thesis or during a birthday party, in a few minutes, I was grabbing a pen and paper and writing away. But now I cant seem to find it. I don't know where it went and I so badly need inspiration right now. As chairperson, part of my task is to draw up the layout of the ballot tickets and the dinner tickets. We need those in order to get quotes from printers. The layouts from past events are nowhere to be found so I am pretty much starting from scratch. I have been raking my brain for the past week or so on what it would look like. I have a vague picture in mind but its not enough to work on. I need more than what my brain can come up with at this point and the clock is ticking fast and faster by the minute even second. As if that wasn't enough, I also have to start making a draft of the program for the coronation night. I also have to finish drawing up the questions that I need to ask the candidates for their write-ups. These are only for the Ms. Maglipayon, I still have the 2008 Medical Mission to think about too. Argh!! So please, please "quiet spot" make your presence felt soon...like now or tomorrow!

In good company

How I wish TopherGrace is part of it but he is not but I am in good company nonetheless.

Things are falling into place for my first time experience to chair a major event for ATA. We had some problems when the first chair resigned due to some internal problems but that was fixed. Then, one of our candidates had to decline which brought the number to two which is an okay number (at least its not one) but would be better if we had one more. Thanks to my sister Camille, I have a third candidate to join the group and she will be flying from the East Coast. She is the first candidate in the history of the Ms. An Maglipayon to come from outside of California and Nevada and the first who was born and raised in Tacloban. Yay!

I have been to a couple of coronation nights before and save for one which was good and elaborate but too much, I felt the rest could have been better. I mean production wise and all, it could have been better but for some reasons they were not. I felt that some parts shouldn't have been part of it and such. I kept that to myself, who was I to be critical of it.

But now its our chance to change that and to change people's perception. I have no illusion of making it the best or the grandest and topping the others but I just want it to be the best that we can do. I am just so glad that the people involved and I have pretty much the same vision and are in the same page as far as what we want the night to be, to look like, etc. Its so much fun to brainstorm with people who also believes that the others could have been better. Turned out, I was not the only one with that feeling. Things are in pre-planning right now (booked and paid the down payment for the venue, we have a color scheme in place, DJ has been booked) and so far so good. I think and I believe we owe the candidates that much. Its their night to be honored and to shine after doing pretty much all the work. I think its the ATA's responsibility to make them feel that it was a worthwhile thing for them and for a worthy cause at that. I know I am making it my responsibility.

By the way, any Leyteño or Taclobanon who may have or know someone who would have research materials as well as pictures of the history of Ms. An Maglipayon from its conception back in 1924 to now, please send those my way. I would really be thankful. For the first time, we might actually have a historical background as well as an audio-visual presentation of it and proof that this was not some cooked-up plan to raise funds but is actually rooted in history. We have some materials but I think and feel there's more out there. Please!

I feel better now after reading this!

Here is your horoscope for Monday, July 30:

These clashes aren't anyone's fault, so you can stop worrying whether you're to blame. Everyone involved is going through some major transitions, and growing pains are a normal part of the process. You'll benefit eventually.

Don't love you no more??

I don't know if I should credit or blame my grade school and high school English teachers with special mention of my 6th grade teacher, Mrs. Bugal why I am so particular with grammar and spelling. We had daily spelling tests and grammar tests wherein she dictated the sentences so your answers depended upon whether you heard the sentences right or not. My classmates and I had a remedy for this so we all somehow managed. I think this is why most if not all of my classmates and I are so particular about it, a claim that they can either confirm or deny .

What brought about this post? I was watching a music video channel and the video for CraigDavid's song "Don'tLoveYouNoMore" was on. Its a nice song, catchy and has a nice melody to it. But I cringed each time he would sing the chorus.

Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

How incorrect can that be? I know! I know I am being a prick about it when this is not the first song that I have heard that has too much of an obvious misuse of the English language and I am pretty sure it wont be the last. "DontLoveYouNoMore"?? why couldn't he say it as "DontLoveYouAnymore" I think they have the same number of syllables anyway. Its not going to ruin the melody. If you are going to go by the rules of proper grammar, even in mathematics says that when you combine two negatives it becomes a positive. So here by the sentence construction, he is trying to say that he still loves the girl, unless of course this is really the message that he wants to say but for some reasons not able to say it straight. Ewan! Why does the song even bother me this much. LOL

Don't get me wrong I am not so hang up on proper spelling, grammar or sentence structure. I make mistakes too and I don't take it against anyone if they do either. More than a phone call, I like writing letters. Needless to say I like receiving them as well. There is just something nice about looking through the mails and seeing more than junk mails or ads. I smile when I see an envelope with my name on it and its coming from friends or family members. My friends from high school and I wrote letters to each other when we went to away to college. Even those of us who lived in the same city, a bus, jeepney or taxi ride away, we still wrote to each other. It was nice as well to receive letters from friends who were farther than that. I just feel there is more sincerity and genuine emotions that can be felt through letters than others. Of course nothing beats face to face conversations but those that cannot be said that way are best expressed through letters. Sometimes in doing so and in our desire to capture the feeling and the moment, worrying whether we used correct grammar in writing becomes secondary, most of the time unimportant. When we edit ourselves, it becomes less natural and thus so fake. To the recipient, its the same thing. When I read the letters, I don't whip out my red pen and starts making notes on the mistakes. I savor in the moment of happiness knowing that someone took a moment out of their time to grab a paper and pen, sit down and write something to me. Unless of course its a threat or an angry one, thankfully I haven't had one of those and don't plan of receiving one. I have kept each and every letter that I have received over the years. If I lack any reading materials, I sometimes read through them once again and strangely I am brought back to the moment and the feeling when I first got it.

Wait a minute, how did a wrong grammar in a song all of a sudden became about letter writing? I guess I just made a big contradiction because here I was being critical about the lyrics of this song and yet I am forgiving and not at all concerned as long as I received it. I guess whoever was the inspiration for this song didn't mind the wrong grammar and I am sure I wouldn't mind it either if the song was for me or about me but I wish it was more of a positive note than that.

Message relay

I'd like to believe I am pretty frank and straightforward. If I feel there is something that someone needs to know I tell that person and not go through so many avenues. Of course I weigh the pros and cons first and come up with a non-threatening or "attacking" way to send the message across. Or see if the other person will take it with an open mind and heart. In that way, the other person wont be defensive and wont lead to a blowout or a misunderstanding. It doesn't always work but at least the intent is there. It doesn't always happen either. If after weighing everything it was concluded that it will still cause some friction or hurt then I guess I might as well just shut up and try to let it go or better yet post a blog about it and hoping that it wont go beyond. There is always that, I don't know fear I guess or apprehension of being misunderstood, misconstrued and of hurting or offending someone. I guess its just but human nature to feel that way.

Back in grade school I think, in one of our classes, we played this game called "Message Relay". Basically the students were divided into groups, made to form a single line. The first person gets the sentence from a slip of paper from our teacher and he/she passes it to the one behind by whispering the sentence and so on until it reaches the last person. He or she then either writes or says the sentence out loud and see how close it was to the original. The results were often hilarious because some of the sentences were so far off. It was fun then but I didn't realize I would take some life lessons from it now.

In the course that the message traveled, things get added and removed as it gets passed on from people to people that at times it takes a life of its own. At times it takes a whole different meaning than its original statement. There are times that the major parts are the ones that gets edited out, left with the trivial things that really don't make any sense but made or rather forced to make sense of but still not the same.

Some may argue it was just a game but it cannot be denied that it happens in real life too, with real issues and real emotions and this is when it becomes sticky. It becomes sticky because not everyone refers to the original sentence or to the first person in the line, to verify and make the comparison before making any conclusion. Some even go away from the line and before you know it, it has branched out to people outside of the line. I have found myself at all parts of the line. I may have passed on the message with missing or additional parts. I am sure it has happened and will still happen. But I think of late I stop and think first before passing it on. If I am doubtful of it, I still pass it on but I include my doubt with it so the next person can pick up on that and can either not go on passing it as if it was the reality or pass it on with the additional doubt.

But some people either do not have the time or the willingness to stop and ponder on what they have heard. Some just takes whatever that was passed on to them as the "truth" with its additions and subtractions and its multiplications and divisions. Its not like during the game in school where we go back to the original slip of paper to check how near or far we are from the "truth". In life, this doesn't always happen. Not everyone would go to the source to verify its validity. Why are some people like that? What stops them from doing so? Is JackNicholson's famous "you cant handle the truth" line in "AFewGoodMen" really true? That we'd rather let ourselves believe in a fallacy or a half-truth rather than face it because there is that fear that we wont be able to handle it. So we then chose to hide behind the perceived truth because either it serves us a purpose or it makes us feel good whether in the expense or not of someone else or it shields us from possible hurt and pain both to others and to our own selves.

I am not really sure what I am trying to drive at but all I know is, this game was so much more fun when it was within the walls of the classroom and not dragged on to real life. At least then we were still concerned on making sure it was right and close to the truth. I cannot say the same about real life and thats just the saddest thing.

Oh now I am a "project"?

My sister and her bf, for some weird reason has taken it upon themselves to make me into their "project". It seems she is the desperate to "marry" me off more than I am. . Okay! They have one guy in mind but he is half way across the world. We will see.



On to other projects...mine this time. I became the chairperson of this year's Ms. An Maglipayon USA Pageant on November 10 by default. I was the vice-chair but when the chairperson resigned so natural succession was for me to be chair. It was really daunting at first because I have never done this before. I have attended a few like it but never was at the helm of it. I just used to show up, pay, eat my meal and dance a little bit and then go home, that's it. But this time around its different and right now we need more candidates since one of the candidates moved up north so wont be able to actively participate. We had three which was a good number but with the refusal of one, we are down to two so we need more. So if anyone knows someone out there who fits the following criteria, please let me know. Deadline is by the end of this month. She must be:

* interested to join
* single
* 15-25 years old
* a daughter/granddaughter of a Leyteño or Taclobanon (meaning either born or resided in Leyte or Tacloban)

So please..please..anyone out there. This is really for a good cause and the prestige of being the Ms. An Maglipayon USA.



I finally booked my sister and mine's flight to NYC in September. I am going for the wedding of a friend while my sister is meeting up with some friends as well. Plus, my two other friends and their husbands are going too. FUN! All in all there's 6 of us travelling from CA. I think we got a pretty good deal for our flight ($280 including tax, other fees). Now, if only finding a hotel room is just as easy and just as cheap but so far we haven't been lucky. Hotel rooms in NYC are hella expensive. The ones that we have seen costs more than our airplane ticket for a day stay and we are staying for 4 days. The wedding is in Manhattan so we are looking at hotels nearby. A few blocks cab ride is the most that we will do. Chary and I might just wing it and wait when the date is near and hoping beyond hope that we can find one. My aunt did offer their discount in one of the hotels nearby but its not confirmed yet. Even if its only 10%, a discount is still a discount.



My sister laughed at me when I told her that I still haven't used my new phone. She thought I would have used it by today but I haven't. Don't know why I am having trouble letting go of my old 6600 phone. I guess it has become the "familiar" and venturing out is somewhat intimidating. I know my way around this phone already and quite used to it. With the new phone, I have to work my way around it, get reacquainted with it and learn it once again. I actually more than skimmed through the user guide last night (geek alert!) to familiarize myself as if this was some "science project". I know Papa is going to ask again if I already used it. He has been since the weekend and since knowing that its already with me. I have no excuse now not to use it since it has my contacts already and have pretty much formatted it to my preference. Uploading songs is next on my list which isn't all that hard to do. Okay, I promise to start using my phone tomorrow.



Based on these, it can be concluded that though it may seem like I have the classic Type A Personality, I am also the biggest procrastinator. I like making lists and checklists but I am also prone to cramming. Sometimes that added pressure of doing things at the last minute is my fuel to do better. Weird!

Good things come to those who wait...

especially when it comes to shoes.

First saw this close to three weeks ago on the website and I knew I had to go to a store to check it out myself. Alas, when my cousin and I went to the GAP store near me they didn't have a size 6, my size. So naturally I was disappointed and was thisclose to getting an almost similar pair from another store but I stopped myself. Each visit to this branch was just marred by disappointment after disappointment since the size was just not available. So in my latest attempt to check, I went to the store yesterday to see. Where it was now made me concerned. It has been relegated to the back of the store which usually means there's only a few pairs left and its not the "current" for the season. I was already prepared to be disappointed once again. So it really was exciting to see a pair in size 6, the very last pair. I immediately grabbed it, checked if it fit me (yes!) and fell in line to pay for it. I know it would set me back a few bucks. I could probably find a similar one but cheaper somewhere else if I just search hard enough but I have wanted this style for the longest time, so not buying it when its within my grasp was just unimaginable. (Obviously, I shoes!). So, imagine my big surprise that not only did they have it in my size but it was also now on sale. YAY!! I only paid less than half of its original price. Woohoo!! Too bad, it was the last pair because my cousin would have wanted one of her own. Well, its not as if we don't borrow from each other so its okay. Summer is here!!