Good things come to those who wait...

especially when it comes to shoes.

First saw this close to three weeks ago on the website and I knew I had to go to a store to check it out myself. Alas, when my cousin and I went to the GAP store near me they didn't have a size 6, my size. So naturally I was disappointed and was thisclose to getting an almost similar pair from another store but I stopped myself. Each visit to this branch was just marred by disappointment after disappointment since the size was just not available. So in my latest attempt to check, I went to the store yesterday to see. Where it was now made me concerned. It has been relegated to the back of the store which usually means there's only a few pairs left and its not the "current" for the season. I was already prepared to be disappointed once again. So it really was exciting to see a pair in size 6, the very last pair. I immediately grabbed it, checked if it fit me (yes!) and fell in line to pay for it. I know it would set me back a few bucks. I could probably find a similar one but cheaper somewhere else if I just search hard enough but I have wanted this style for the longest time, so not buying it when its within my grasp was just unimaginable. (Obviously, I shoes!). So, imagine my big surprise that not only did they have it in my size but it was also now on sale. YAY!! I only paid less than half of its original price. Woohoo!! Too bad, it was the last pair because my cousin would have wanted one of her own. Well, its not as if we don't borrow from each other so its okay. Summer is here!!

Something new

I have never gone camping. I mean the whole outdoors, tent, bonfire, etc. type of camping. My relatives are not exactly the outdoorsy types. They also pretty much don't want to be under the sun for long periods of time so an opportunity was never seized. I don't know when they will grab that chance or if ever they would. But, I would have that chance and I am both anxious and excited. The An Taclobanon will have our yearly camping next weekend and it will be a new experience for me. I think it would be a fun thing to do. As of today, it looks like there will be around 30 people coming. Yay!

I don't know what to prepare, okay I do but its making me anxious if I would have everything. See, I have this tendency to bring our whole "house". My sister, Jehann teases me that for a weekend stay at my aunt's house, I bring a bag good enough for the whole week. I am a little paranoid like that but I cant bring everything. Good thing, our camping coordinator sent out this checklist for us to base our packing on. I admit the list is a bit overwhelming but I think I can deal with it. Some of the bigger stuff like for food, shelter are already being handled by some people so basically my own responsibility is to bring my own stuff. Herein is the big problem, well not exactly big but I really have to learn to pack lightly or just enough. I think that thought is what is making me anxious. I really shouldn't worry much since its not as if the campsite we are going to would be in the middle of nowhere. Some amenities are still accessible but as much as possible if I can do away with that, the better. I have less than a week left to ponder on this list and hopefully I will be able to just bring along the necessities plus a few good reads. This experience is definitely something out of my comfort zone and I think its nice to be able to do that. I am open to anything. This would also give me chance to use my . Yay! I hope we will have good weather.

A word from our sponsor =)

Von@ge is such a blessing. My parents can call me or my sister whenever they feel like it. Nope, no hint of sarcasm there. I actually like it especially if he calls when I really needed some company like tonight and with some news that made me excited. Sure, I dropped hints in my previous post about my "taped" cellphone and hoping beyond hope that he will get wind of it and decide to send me one. All I was asking was for his hand-me-downs. That was enough for me. Like as if its anything out of the ordinary anyway because he has been doing that. I dont mind getting his hand-me-downs anyway. A phone is still phone, doesnt matter if its new or not as long as it works. I was fine with any model for as long as its N.okia which is pretty much what he uses. I am not very particular when it comes to brands with things but with phones I am. I love that its really user friendly plus it helps to be different when everyone else here has a R@zr. Little did I know that my sister Jehann has been exchanging text messages with Papa as to what phone to send me. And tonight he told me that he was going to send my phone through his cousin (my uncle) who will just mail it to me from the BayArea. He said its going to be the same as what my sister has right now. I am not going to say which model just yet until I actually have it in my hands but its the model I want too. YAY!! I don't know when it will get here but I don't mind waiting. I actually felt sort of bad that Papa would be sending me a phone that I told him my phone still works but sure there's just a tape over two of the keys. Other than that, its still functional. He said, "well thats it, it still has tape". I admit, my siblings and I are bit spoiled by our parents. They pretty much give us what we want as long as its within our means and within reason. In return, in our own little way we have fulfilled their one and only wish for each one of us and that is to get an education and that we did. My parents are now free, no more kid in school. So, I guess we can allow ourselves to be a bit indulgent, them with their trips and us with little things that we would want. Thanks Papa and Mama!

Hire me! Hire me! (Part 1)

My sister is in the middle of job-hunting right now and one of our conversations inspired me to write this. I am no HR expert but I think I know enough based on my education, my seven month work experience and my own personal experience on how to make a good impression enough to be hired if you are a new graduate, applying to your very first job.

I went through the very same thing. Graduating wasn't the end of all the stress. In fact it was just the beginning of a totally new kind. I think, majority of new graduates feel ill-equipped to step into the "real world". We are after all stepping into unfamiliar territories, away from the "safe" and "secure' environment that school has provided us with. Much as we don't want to venture out, we do not have a choice unless being a bum is now an occupation we can earn from, then sign me up.

I have been an applicant and part of the HR so in some ways I have experienced both worlds. An elective in college that I had to take also helped. See, before graduation, all the graduating students were required to take Orient3. It was basically a workshop on how to write our resume, proper way of going into an interview, dressing (3 pieces of jewelry tops and earrings are counted as 2), attitude and etc. Basically, anything and everything one needs to know before applying for a job. We didn't get a grade but more like either a "pass" or "fail" So based on all that, these are just my personal experience and observation and in no way guarantee being hired. Just some points to ponder upon before applying.

Let's start with the most basic - Application Letter.

It is basically your short introduction so the department can have a general perception of who you are. Stress on the short. We go through piles and piles of application letters everyday that we are not able to read through each one of them. We sometimes just skim through it. It helps if there is something in that letter that will grab our attention, but not too far out that will leave a bad impression either.

Another basic component and yet crucial part - Resume.

Who would have thought that such a piece of paper can either make or break it for you as far as getting a call for an exam or interview is concerned. Some do away with the application letter and just leave a resume. I don't think doing that is breaking some HR rule or something so I think its fine. If I remember right, I only gave out my resume. As far as format is concerned, I don't think there is one standard, universal one. I have seen a lot of formats out there but one thing is clear make it short and concise as well much like the application letter. If it can fit in one page, better. The most is two pages. Limit the descriptions to at least 3-5 lines. Save the rest for the interview. Reading through a long one can be tedious that we may or may not have all the time for. It would really be sad if you got skipped because someone skipped your resume because it was too wordy. Its sad and mean but its reality. I do not see the point of the "objective" part but I wont take it against anyone if its there. Again, state just the basics here: name; address; contact number, preferably more than one; education; work experience; awards; extra-curricular activities; skills and talents - state at least three and not a whole litany. Also, work experience does not only mean those that you got paid for. Internship, volunteer even "forced" labor in the family business counts as work experience. To me, the list of references is optional. It will just add more pages. Putting "available upon request" is fine. In case, you just had to put some people, make sure they really know you. Don't put people in high offices ex. congressman, governor, mayor, the like if they do not know a thing about you. Sure it looks good on paper but if they cannot offer more information than the resume and interview, its pointless. I have seen a lot of this in the Philippines. In some cases it helps but I am not that in favor of nepotism or "palakasan". Naive of me, I know. If I was into this, I could have put the name of my dad's former colleague who was the VP I think at that time of the bank that I was applying to. But I didn't. It didn't help anyway that the one who interviewed me was a former colleague of Papa as well so why bother.

to be continued...

Perfect for summer: HALO-HALO

It's here!!

I was going to hold off buying it online and just wait if my sister would be able to find the same thing in Manila. But after telling me that this style is sold out, I had no other choice but to buy it online and so I did. It didn't get shipped until 2 weeks after I ordered it. Don't know why. Then it took another 7 days to get to me since it came all the way from Ohio. I had no idea it would be coming from there. All in all around 3 weeks, but important thing now is it's finally here. Yay! And I am trying to stay away from any site that features havaianas because I don't want to buy another one. I will just wait for the pair that my brother promised.

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It's a small world after all!!

You don't know who you will see when you go grocery shopping on what seemed to be an uneventful Sunday afternoon. We were at IslandPacific because my relatives opened a food stall over there when my sister saw someone familiar. It was my sister, Camille's friend, Derrick and with him was Jenn who happened to be the daughter of a family friend. Though younger, we have moved around the same circle since both our dads were part of the Rotary Club of SanJuanico. She was a lot younger then so I didn't really recognize here right away. But I did recognize her sister, Joana who joined us a little later. She is after all my dad's goddaughter. With them was their cousin, Chris. I never knew they were here so it was a really nice surprise to see them of all places, a grocery. Notice the broom? Kids nowadays are sure tall.

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Papa, I need a new phone!

I inherited my phone from Papa and that was almost 3 years ago. I had an opportunity to change my phone early this year but I opted not to. And now I regret not getting a new one because I dropped my phone just tonight, well actually I dropped the remote control which landed on the phone which made it fall to the ground. Two of the keys fell off and I had to put a tape over it since they wont stick anymore. I have one of those casings, though not the original ones but I am finding it difficult to remove the present one so I guess the tape will just have to do for now.

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Bummer!

ApoloAntonOhno decided after all to join the DWTS tour this summer BUT he will only be performing in 5 cities and none of which is Los Angeles.

Rising up to the challenge

The past year has been full of challenges and experiencing new things for me.

- I have never planned a party that was as grand in scale as what we did for Lola's 85th birthday last year. I did with tons of help from my cousins and also with the assistance of aunts and uncles. Everyone had fun and the party was a success.

- I have never planned a medical mission in my life and here I am from the initial volunteer to handling part of the administrative side of it.

- I have never planned a formal dinner dance/coronation night of the Ms. An Maglipayon before and here I am about to assume the chairperson position from being vice-chair.

Th first one has passed, the next two gave me gastritis yesterday. The medical mission part I am not that stressed about it since I will only be handling some aspects of it. The other committee members have a huge experience with this. But the Ms. An Maglipayon, I will be at the helm of it and just thinking about it is making my stomach do somersaults. When I became vice-chair I didn't worry much since to me it was just a glorified title for assistant and doing what the chair requests. But being chairperson entails more than that: from conception to execution and everything else in between. With the recent events, the probability of it has crossed my mind and the brave part of me was all "sure I can handle this" but when it became a reality, I was at a loss for words. Doubt somehow found its way to my mind. I have a very capable committee and a full support of the officers but there is still that nagging feeling of dread and fear of the unknown. I don't know why. All I know is I cannot let myself be brought down by it since there are so many things that I need to attend to at this point. Its going to be in November and I don't have much time. LIke all the challenges that has came and will continue to come my way, I will face it because its what I am supposed to do, it is what I have to do. Its not going to be easy and I have big shoes to fill but I can only my best. I am taking on the challenge and hope that things will turn out good not only for me but for everyone as well. Good luck na lang!

Papa got me bugged

I was really surprised to learn today that it seems Papa got wind of one of my posts that was only supposed to be for a selected few to read. How did my not so tech savvy dad able to do that? Beats me but I think I have a faint idea as to who could have been his source. I know its you!

It seems like everyone else, my parents get updated with my life through my blog. Its not like I don't call them often enough or update them enough because I do but I guess there are just some aspects about my life at this point that I am not able to share so openly with my parents. Can you say awkward? Much as I have a really good relationship with my parents, still there are some things that I don't think they have to know. Thus, the post being for only a few people's eyes and then someone blabbed it to Papa who in turn told someone which eventually went back to me. It really wasn't something bad but its a bit disconcerting to me for Papa to know from other people and not from me. Its not as if I was going to hide it forever but the point was there really wasn't much to tell him or Mama, not yet anyway so why bother. Ma-jinx pa, di bale na!

The cool thing about my dad though is even knowing something, he wouldn't come out and tease me about it or pry for more information. He is going to wait in the wings until it comes from the horse's mouth, so to speak. It may not be so big of a news nor would it bring about world peace or end the world's hunger but for a parent, he looks at it as some hope or indication that his fear is not going to be a reality. This must be his fervent wish of late. He hasn't really exhibited subtleness anyway when it comes to this, not in the past few months at least. I know Papa means well and its really funny and I appreciate his concern in some twisted way. Hay Papa! hahahaha

How sad! C-

My Lakbayan grade is C-!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out atLakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

In all seriousness

It was just last year when I became actively involved in ATASC (An Taclobanon Association of Southern California). I cannot believe its only been a year because it felt like I have zoomed through my two year term. On my first year alone, I was entrusted to this position that I wasn't sure I was equipped to handle: mentally, emotionally and socially. Prior to this, my lone experience as far as being in an organization was still back in high school which was ages ago and I was dealing with people my age certainly not with those older than I am, some my father's age or older than that. Being the youngest, I wasn't sure if I would be heard enough or listened to. Well, I thought wrong. I think in my own little way I have let my voice be heard. But I don't think its enough. I still have a lot to learn and the first year was that - a learning year, an educational year. It was more like an "on the job training" and I think the second year will now be more of a "job". Am I prepared for the year that is coming? I don't know. I learn as I go along.

Midway into the year, people within the organization has been teasing me that I will be the next president which I take in stride and in jest. They cant be serious! I still have so much to learn. When I told Papa about this, his reply made me laugh. He said that I should get married first before I even think of being the association's president. I thought Papa was just joking, teasing me or he is just that desperate to see me married off. But I soon realized how true he was. Being an officer, an active one at that is SERIOUS, SERIOUS, SERIOUS commitment. A commitment I didn't know I was ready to give but did in my own capacity. Just two weeks ago I was growing overwhelmed with the many things I had to do. I didn't realize that my plate would be that full but it was. Aside from my my duties to the association, I also have responsibilities to my family, to my work as well as to own self. Someone pointed out to me that I was already overwhelmed with so many things imagine if I had a husband and/or children or a boyfriend to attend to on top of these responsibilities. I probably would have gone crazy. I am not complaining but it made me think how many more compartments can you build in your life to make room for everything. Or am I supposed to continue building compartments or keep the same ones but learn to prioritize? Or come to a conclusion that no matter how much we wish we just cannot do everything that we want or expected of us. That is just how life is.

I don't know until when my commitment to the association will be. Now when they tease me about me being at helm of it I quote my dad. Their responses have been funny, some just laugh and some even to the point of saying they will look for one for me. Hahaha yeah right! Am I ready for it if and when it does happen? I don't know. I guess I will cross the bridge when I get there but I do know that I have to find some sense of balance within my own life in order to be able to do that. Find some sense of balance before that. Its not an easy position and I have so much to learn still. I have so many things to learn: diplomacy, more patience, more flexibility, firmness, decisiveness, etc. What am I doing? I shouldn't even be thinking about it since its not even yet a possibility. But if there's one thing the past year has taught me is that I am not a "commitment-phobe" like I thought I was. And it helped because at the onset, committing was the huge step and I think I have proven that I can do that.

Eye to eye

I have this bad habit of falling asleep still wearing my contacts. Bad, I know! It has happened so many times and each time I find myself waking up around 4am realizing I still have them on. Only then, would I take them out then go back to sleep and put them back on like 2 hours after. Not the best thing to do but I have grown dependent on them that I have to wear them a lot. In some days when paranoia kicks in, thats when I contend myself with wearing my glasses to work. I wear disposable soft contact lenses. I have to wear them only for two weeks and I have to replace them after. There have been times that I extended it but not this time since I was told that the kind I have now would harden if its worn past its two weeks time frame. So, I keep a tab on myself to make sure that I change it after two weeks. With that in mind, I should be more cautious of wearing them to sleep but I still have difficulty with it especially the past weeks have been stressful for me. I think I have become a narcoleptic since I pretty much fall asleep as soon as I get home from work with or without contacts. Other than the occasional dryness which goes away right away, I have not experienced anything else that would be of discomfort so I thought I was fine until I saw for myself what happened to my aunt over the weekend.

She wore her contacts after months of not wearing them. She got one that was soaked in solution for some months now rather than getting a new pair. Needless to say she got an infection and was tearing up the whole time. Her eyes were itchy, painful and uncomfortable. She couldn't take them off right away since we were in the middle of the fiesta celebration. So she delayed it which proved to be a not so wise move. By the time she took out her contacts, the left eye has become embedded and hard to take out. She slept on them and the next day (Sunday) she asked if we could take her to the ER since she could barely open her eyes and it was truly painful. At the ER, it was flushed out but the ER doctor felt that he wasn't able to take all of it out so she was referred to an Ophthalmologist. Turned out that the ER doctor was already able to take it out but the rubbing and the fact that it stayed there more than it should caused her to have some abrasions/scratches on her left eye. The scratch was 10mm. Pretty long scratch. I heard the Ophthalmologist say that healing is usually 1mm/day. This meant my aunt needed to rest and treat her eyes for more or less 10 days.

1mm/day!! That scared me. Hers happened just one day and it was already 10mm, so imagine the abuse that I have been doing to my eyes. Horrors! So, now I am really trying so hard to be conscious not to sleep wearing them anymore. Its hard since I still haven't fully recovered from the lack of sleep the previous weeks and this is what is making me fall asleep right away but it would be a small price to pay rather than getting scratches and not being able to function as much as I would want to. Plus, all that medication and follow up with doctors is enough to make me squeamish. Prevention is the key now rather than treatment. Looking at how much trouble my aunt is having should scare me straight and it is.

Stressing over ironing

I have always said that among the household chores, ironing is my least favorite. I would do away with it as long as I can. If I can ask someone to do it for me, I would be jumping for joy. Anything as long as I don't do it. But... this time I really have to. And what a piece of clothing for me start on.. a barong. The hardest, most fragile and I think most complicated piece of clothing to iron. I mean, my own dad isnt a fan of ironing too or doesn't even iron but he will if its his barong. No one else irons it but him.

Why wear a barong then? I could wear anything but a barong so why am I stressing? See, that's the thing, I have to wear a barong for the fiesta this Saturday..tomorrow. Being an officer, we always wear barong. I don't own such a thing since its typically a man's piece of clothing but of late women have been wearing them too. So, I asked my mom to buy one for me from Manila. I not only got one but I have two. One is ready to wear while the other one, Papa had it made. The one that was made is much more formal and intricate which translates to higher difficulty as far as ironing is concerned. The other one is as intricate but its made like a tunic so its less complicated without all those buttons. I am leaning towards the tunic kind to wear for tomorrow.

My stress started even before I even got them. Mama told me that when I iron it that I should make sure that the sleeves wont have any folds. Okay, I am already stressed out just thinking about ironing a barong now I have this fact to add. How am I going to do that? I am really getting anxious now. How anxious? My gastritis is acting up. The only thing left is for hives to appear but good thing I never get those.

I first planned to iron it last night but I didn't feel that my mental state was ready to take on the task. I wont be able to do it tonight since I will coming home late and probably sleepy so no. I guess I am left with no choice but to iron it first thing tomorrow along with the other clothes that I have to iron *sigh* and on top of my other "to-do" things. Putting it off really isn't doing me any good because its not going to disappear when I do that. It certainly wont iron the barong either. I just have to find that stable mental state and carry on with this task. Even with ironing, I am cramming. I guess I really do better under pressure. Brat na kung brat, I wish Mana Mila was here to do this for me and I wont be stressing this much.

A nice way to start my week

(source: Philippine Daily Inquirer)

MANILA, Philippines - Heritage architecture, the site of a historic landing during World War II, and natural bamboo resources, Leyte seems to have it all. It is no wonder then that the province was picked by the National Commission on Culture and Arts (NCCA) as one of the host cities for this year's National Heritage Month with the theme "The Culture of the Bamboo.

Here is the rest of the article... Leyte's heritage allure

I caved

I always wondered what the fascination with this slippers was. My sister wanted it so badly and when I checked at the mall it costs almost the same as a pair of shoes (not the branded ones of course). How could be something made of rubber costs so much? I saw people get addicted to it, collecting different kinds, different colors and different styles. Still I was bewildered what the fuss was about. People told me it was really comfortable. I scoffed like "yeah right". One sure can buy two slippers for the same price as one of this but still people preferred this. I shake my head in amazement and confusion and thinking "these people are crazy". Its "tsinelas" for goodness sake. One to use to the beach or to do errands or to do chores. I told myself I am not going to spend that much money for a pair of "tsinelas". No way, jose! If someone was going to give me one, I will gladly take it. My parents, oh so generous gave me one and thus started my "infatuation" with Havaianas.

When the Havaianas Filipinas came out, I wanted one. I mean I like anything that has the Philippines flag on it. I thought this is nice, I will be one of the few ones who will have this since I doubt if this will be available in the US. I asked my parents if they could get it for me and they did.

But an aunt found out about it and decided to give my other cousins the same thing for "pasalubong". So when it was only supposed to be only two of us among cousins who have it, it ended up being 10..of the same color. Finding your own pair at the door (we leave slippers outside the house) can be a task. So, I let my sister use it and hoped that another color of the same thing would be released. Imagine my happiness when a black Havaianas Filipinas came out. I immediately told Mama to please get me the black ones instead. I waited and waited until someone was able to bring it to the US. I love it. I thought at first it was just a "tsinelas" nothing extraordinary or mind-blowing about it. Boy, was I wrong! I like that theres the Philippine flag. I like love that it was actually comfortable. I thought I can walk around for hours in these and my feet would be fine. Its in black so it goes with anything I wear. I thought I would be content with my Filipinas pair but I was so wrong because after seeing this..

I wanted my own pair. I looked at the stores at the mall but I couldn't find it. I can only buy it online. Its going to cost me $23 and who knows what else for shipping but I am going to close my eyes and buy it. I already can see what my outfit would be to match this pair. I was set to buy it when my nice brother asked what we wanted so I asked for this. Hoping that that this is still available in the Philippines and he can get it for me. If not, I guess I will just buy it online and Nicco can just buy me this...


and I will gladly accept it. or any color for that matter.

I have found myself browsing through different sites for other designs and styles. Some are really funky and out there. Some, I think I will be able to wear. I say that I just have an "infatuation" with it its because I don't think I will become a serious collector no matter how much of an addictive personality I have. Well, as of now at least I just want these 3. Who knows what will happen along the road. But I really want to buy them for the purpose of wearing them and not just collecting or looking at them especially now that I am including it in the "must pack" list when I travel granted its going to be a warm place.

Its funny how life is, its twists and turns and its ironies. I was critical of it before and here I am wanting to buy my own pairs more than what was given to me. Here I am actually contemplating of buying some rather than waiting for someone to gift me with them. Yup, I am eating my words because I am now into havaianas when I told myself I wouldn't be. Now, I am willing to shell out more than I would normally for a pair of slippers. Hey, my toes and feet are happy and that makes me happy. For that reason alone, I am sold on these slippers.

Exhausted beyond exhaustion

I have close to 250 fliers to print and mail out by end of this week.
I have practices till the wee mornings of Friday and Saturday.
clothes to be folded.
closet to be organized.
room to be cleaned.
a registration process to be written.
a membership roster to be sub-divided
a committee to be briefed.
clothes to be prepared for June 16 (3).
a fiesta to not only to attend but to be involved in.
an urgent and important matter to deal with and be done with by this week.

and these are all personal. My work isn't part of this yet.

*sigh*

Sometimes Papa says the craziest things

I don't know if it was out of desperation that my dad actually referred to this guy as the "love of my life". Papa has always been mum about anything pertaining to my lovelife save for that out of the blue "so, do you have a boyfriend?" question back when I was in college which caused major shock to my sister and me. So for him to drop this recently was I don't know...weird? Especially since we were with my relatives on his side whom I haven't seen in a long time. Papa also added that this guy is decent. Papa's exact words were "tuhay man iton hiya" (He seems decent.) Based on what? Based on meeting him early last year? I am not sure they even talked that long or maybe I am just not being told the story. I was nowhere near there so I really don't know. Funny thing is, my brother and sister beg to differ. Well they have their own version. As if that was not enough, Papa also said "waray ada gihapon uyab" (I dont think he has a girlfriend.) Really?? How did he even know that when I myself don't know if its true or not. Weird!

Papa used to drop subtle hints here and there that he would want my siblings and I, me for starters settled soon. But lately, they have not been subtle. Sometimes, it was almost like a push, a permission, a blessing. He is well aware that he is sort of pushing us but said it doesn't mean he is "giving us away" or something. I guess, he really just want to see us settled or he just wants some grandchildren since among his siblings, he is the only one who doesn't have any. He went to as far as saying that our house back home was already so quiet, that it would be fun to see kids running around. Okay! My siblings and I are not budging though. Not that we are not heeding what they are asking but we wish it was as easy as that.

Going back to the "love of my life" comment that made my jaw drop and rendered me speechless. I really don't know where it was coming from or I don't even remember what we were all talking about but I am still in shock over it and it happened some three months ago. I never got the chance to talk to Papa again after that and truth be told I am a bit uneasy to ask now. The "get married" spiel still hasn't gone away, in fact I think it has escalated but I think I need a guy first before I can even contemplate marriage. That just how life's natural progression goes.

So do I agree with Papa that this guy is the "love of my life"? I don't know! That's the honest truth. I don't know. If I was asked that a few years ago, I would say he could have been. Even until early last year, he still could have been. Now? I really don't know. Its hard to say especially since I haven't heard much from him lately. Its hard to say when you rely on other people to get an update. Its hard to say when you don't know what feelings to name and claim. Its crazy that my dad would even consider him to be that when we are not even together. Its crazy how of all the guys, Papa had to pick him. We may have a little bit of a history but like those things we learn in history class, after some time, you just don't think about it much. You don't totally forget it. Its just at the back of your mind, stashed somewhere there. But, it is not my reality at this point. Its not my "now" and I have learned albeit quite late that its not always the case that your past connects to your "now" and to your future. Papa can be right but he could also be wrong. I have come to live with that, come to realize that, come to accept that. We will just see.

Happy Birthday Papa!

I think I am a lot like Papa more than I would want to admit. Both of us can be stubborn, headstrong, opinionated that we most often than not clash. But our "clashes" have always been with respect and a good sense of maturity. Sure, his way of thinking annoys and irritates me sometimes but I don't think its any different with what he thinks and feels about my own way of thinking. Our likeness may be the reason of some of our conflicts but more than that I think it is also the reason why we both understand and respect each other. I think I have reached the age that Papa takes a step back and allows me to do things as I see fit. Agree with it or not, he gives me that freedom to be able to come to my own decisions, act on my convictions and learn from my mistakes. Sure, he along with Mama would want to protect and shield me as much as they can but they also both realize that there are some instances that they have to loosen the string that connects me to them and let me wander and explore life as it comes to me. This is one thing, among others that I am truly grateful.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!!!

Can I be any weirder?

I got tagged by Ate Joelle and this is what inspired me to write a post. I have a lot of topics to blog about but couldn't seem to find the time to sit down and write so this will do for now.

"Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about himself or herself. People who get tagged need to write a blog entry of their own as well as state the rule clearly. In the end, you need to tag 6 people as well and list their names. Don't forget to let them know they've been tagged!"

1. I listen to music that I don't understand the lyrics. I watch movies where I have to read the dialogue and stars whose names I cannot pronounce. It happened by accident and now I am so used to reading subtitles that it doesn't bother me anymore. I even turn on the subtitles now even with English language films. As for music, this is the ultimate proof that music is a "universal language". I don't understand one bit of the lyrics and yet I can feel the emotion of the show and sometimes can relate to it.

2. When I am stressed, I deal with it by writing. When we were writing our college thesis, I stopped in the middle of writing a pivotal section, grabbed some paper and a pen, wrote a poem in under 30 minutes and then went back to my thesis. I also was able to write a whole poem while attending a debut and I wrote it on a tissue.

3. I sleep with the blanket over my head. People are really weirded out by this. I once slept over at a friend's house and she woke up at the middle of the night and couldn't find me. I was under the covers. People wondered if I can breathe under it. I can and I actually find it harder to breathe if I am above the blanket. See, I am really weird. Even if it is the hottest day, I still sleep with a blanket. A pillow I can do without but not without a blanket. When I was little, I slept with 5 blankets all around me, all folded except for one that covered me. Now, I just have two: one, folded that used to be purple but now white, torn and thin and another one to cover me but the number of which depends if its winter (2-3) or summer (1). Yup, I bring the term "security blanket" to new heights.

4. I once ate 6 sunny-side up eggs at one time but I couldn't eat eggs for a long time after that. Add to my weird eating habits, I once ate steamed hotdog with catsup and calamansi. I brought a whole box of a medium size pizza inside the movie theater and ate it by myself. I can eat the same food for days straight, granted its new. I don't like tv dinners or any food that has "add hot water" on them. It has to pass through some kind of "real" heat.

5. I am a highly visual person but I cannot draw even if my life depended on it. Even my "stick man" looks pathetic. When I write short stories, I visualize the story in my head like as if I am reading a book before I actually write it down. I have cried too when visualizing that story. Often times, I already have a mental picture of my outfit for the day. It also helps with long drives. If I am not able to read, I let my mind wander away and I don't get bored.

6. I prefer to watch movies alone sometimes actually most of the time. It started in college when I only had one class and it was still too early to go home. If I was going to wait for my cousins to watch movies, there was a high probability that it wasn't going to happen so I decided to just watch movies by myself. Plus, it allows me to really concentrate on the movie. But I have a general rule that I follow: (1) I only watch at what I consider safe theaters; (2) I watch the first screening of the day; (3) I sit near the aisle; (4) I make sure that I am seated in a far enough distance from other moviegoers. I would bring snacks too. I have also watched 3 movies in 2 different theaters all in one day.

Camille, Kuya Patrick, Chrissie, Mina, Pen & Gail - TAG and you're it!!

Happy Anniversary Papa & Mama!!

Today is their 32nd wedding anniversary.

My brain cells are in a mush so until I can come up with a better post for now I would just like to greet my parents a HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

I love you Papa and Mama!!

Which one is it?

"Because i think one of the biggest angst you have in your life is about *****...that's why i assume it's about him."

Trust your friends to drop comments like these that leave you dumbfounded.

I asked Chary what she thought of my previous entry. Initially, she thought it was about someone which surprised me and made me laugh. I asked further why she thought that which turned out to be a mistake because this is the answer she gave me. Then she said just as she was convinced she got it right, she thinks otherwise. That I was probably just in one of my "moments". Its been days since she told me but its still in my mind. I still laugh when I remember it. So which one is it? I am still figuring it out. It could be either, it could be both. Ewan!

Stranger - -> Person

You think you know plenty about a person, you think you know enough about a person only to realize later that it seems like you don't. You want to know more but it is either untold or hidden and no time soon revealed. You want to ask but you are in no position to. You want to ask but opportunity you do not have. You want to ask but you are not sure if it will be answered or evaded or you are allowed to have a glimpse of what may seem like an answer but you are not entirely sure.

There are times that you think you know the truth about a person and that truth was enough only to be rattled by the realization that you may be wrong. That fact doesn't escape you. You are left to wonder if whatever you know are really truths or nothing more but half-truths or worse lies masked in what may seem like truth. You wonder but just couldn't find the answers. You don't know if it was to protect you or to protect one's self. Either way, you are left in the dark and its not the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Then there is a stranger whose life you only know by a name and his or her place in a person's life. That you wished you knew more of but not a possibility. Then you stumble on something about this stranger that allowed you to know more than you would want to or need to or entitle to. All of a sudden that stranger is anything but and reading about their life based on how people talk about them fondly felt like both an intrusion and an enlightenment. How they have left an impact in these people's lives makes you wonder if the same could have happened to you. Then it dawned on you that in the course of knowing more about this stranger, you have come to know a bit more if not an aspect of the person but THE person.