I hope my hair stays for the whole day

My hair is usually wavy and since it has been months since I had it chemically straightened, my waves are coming back. I usually just straighten my hair but for today I decided to try something new. I curled it. It was a task since I have been leaving the house with still wet hair for the past few days. I just hope it stays this way for the rest of the day. Like me, my hair has the tendency to be stubborn. But please for today I hope it cooperates.

I don't know how things will pan out today. So far it has been a slow and nice start. My sister Jehann sent me a text message 7 minutes into midnight asking if who was first. She was. She beat my mom by a few minutes. Mama has been the first one for the past few years except this year. Papa doesnt count since he functions on Philippines time so he usually greets me when its the 28th there. But he made up for it by greeting me again today. My brother sent me a text message and he just had to add that "lagas ka na" (you are old) part. Whatever. Age is all but a number. Besides I am just a year past thirty. My sister Camille decided to post a blog entry as her way of greeting me. That was nice. K. Miles called all the way from Manila and good thing I was already awake. Soon, greetings came in through calls, text messages, emails and messages. It really has been nice and I am grateful.

I was supposed to wear a dress today which wouldn't be the case if not for my birthday. But the weather has been mean to me the past two years. There was a heavy downpour last year and this year thought its sunny, its breezy which still translates to cold temperature. I have not been one to compromise comfort with fashion so I decided to wear dressy jeans and a nice red top instead. I would probably still change into the dress later before going to mass and to dinner plans with my sister and cousins. I hope my friends get to come too. Unless my birthday falls on a Good Friday, I always wear red. I don't know if it has some big significance but it has been a tradition of mine.

As what I have said in my previous post, I really don't have much expectations for today nor do I have concrete plans. I prefer it that way. I prefer that life surprises me. I would be more grateful and appreciative of whatever it is when it happens that way. I also decided to celebrate my birthday the whole year so life can surprise me any time. So I guess we would just have to wait and see what life has in store for me.

My horoscope for today:

It's okay to let down your guard and show all your honest emotions today. When other people have a positive impact on your life, you should let them know. Be prepared to communicate how other people make you feel today, because you will be surrounded by big personalities and bigger acts of generosity. You will experience a wonderful mixture of intimidation, excitement and gratitude. Let these feelings inspire you, and you will be unstoppable.

the other one said:

If you've been wanting to rev up your romantic life, now's the time to step on the gas, baby. Race ahead -- you look great in fast motion, and whoever can keep up with you will love the pace you set.

Okay. =)

Concert Photos

This is the photo of the guys from the concert that I mentioned in this post. Its only four of them. I have no idea where the fifth guy was at the time this photo was taken. More photos can be seen here and here.

Officially gone bonkers

I have officially gone bonkers for AAO. He had a good performance again last night which got him a 26/30 score bringing his total for the two performances to 47/60. His and Julianne's combined score puts them at the top 3 of the competition which is good. He was cute once again although I wasn't so sure about the whole gray suit/pink tie thing but it worked for him. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I don't know what he was going to do with the "headband" or bandanna when its time for the ballroom dances. Well, he found a way...not wear it. I am not used to seeing him without it but it works. They were synchronized with their steps and he was light on his toes which was expected for quickstep. They danced to "Two Hearts" which I first heard back in grade school or high school. Hearing it brings me back to those times. Once again he looked like he was having fun and that smile was there again. I really do not mind seeing that smile every week. I used up all my votes just for him both online and phone. Yup, I have gotten really crazy. LOL

My sister, Camille's post about our loss.

Why?

We are not blood relatives but you are the older brother that I didn't have. People were teasing me that I wasn't the "suhag" (eldest) anymore but it was already you. I actually didn't mind. I don't know how or when you came into our lives but I just remember you being there since I was young. When Papa and Mama had to leave us for business, we were always left under your care. You kept us company, picked us up from school, treated us to dinners, shared jokes that never failed to make us laugh. We were not really relatives and yet our whole family was part of your wedding. Your children have been like our niece and nephews. Mama looks after your four children as if they were her own grandchildren. There were times of late that Papa and Mama didn't approve of the choices you made but their affection for you has never wavered. As Papa said you have always been good to his children, us, the four of us. For that alone, we could never abandon you.

But why? Why did you abandon us? Why did you leave us in such a manner? When I first heard about it, I couldn't believe it. I chose not to believe it because I thought you were better than this. But Papa confirmed it and I still could not believe it. I was too numb to really know what to feel about it. Details are still a blur until now. After all it has only been a few days. Part of me wants to know how you ended it but part of me doesn't want to because by then it will really be real for me. I wish I can understand why but unless you left us with something, with anything, I don't think we will ever know. Things have not been good in your life of late that much I know. But I didn't think that it was too much for you to end it this way, even contemplate it. You have four reasons, four good and wonderful reasons to turn your life around but I guess even that was either too much or not enough. I don't know which one.

I really do not know what I feel right at this very moment. Should I be mad that you were so selfish to just think about yourself? Should I be disappointed that you didn't even bother to reach out to someone, anyone when you felt that life was caving in on you? Should I feel regret that it seemed no one was there when you needed someone that most? Could I have been that someone? Should I feel sad that you wont be there to buy me the lechon that you promised to give me when I go home? I am not sad about the lechon, but I am because of the promise you made to me. Should I be happy that at least now you will be rid of whatever it was that was bothering you so much. Whatever it was that was burdening you so much that you couldn't take it anymore. Should I be happy that you may have found the peace? The peace that may have been elusive and unattainable.

I am sad for your children that even though you may not have been the most perfect and present parent but I know that you love your children more than anything in this world. I am sad for your family because you have left this big hole in their hearts. I am sad for your friends who will never hear your jokes and have the blessing of being in your company. I am sad for my family because you are a big loss in our lives. I am sad for my siblings and myself because we don't have a "magurang" (older brother) anymore. I am sad for me because I didn't get to tease you and be teased by you even for the last time. I am sad for this world because despite of what people say it cannot be denied that we have lost such a wonderful and caring person in you.

I haven't cried since Saturday but I am crying now. Rest in peace, Mano Lito! Rest in peace.

Journal pages

I will admit I am sentimental. I keep every little thing that is connected to a happy, fun and memorable moment: letters, cards, concert ticket stubs, movie ticket stubs even pages of my past diary/journal/planner. Name it, I have probably kept it. I need to come up with a way to really organize them so it will all be in one place because right now its sort of all over the place.

Today, I decided to do a mini spring cleaning. Underneath all the old receipts and unsent cards was this little bag and inside seemed like pages from my past planners. I read though them in amazement and surprise. I couldn't believe what I wrote then. I am even embarrassed at some of the things I wrote but it sure did bring back memories. However, I don't know what to feel when I chanced upon these 2 pages.

I cannot believe I used to remind myself of the shows that I want to watch but more than that according to these, I received "the most shocking, surprising, confusing email" on November 28, 1998. What was in the email? I wish I know. I wish I remember. And apparently I discovered on December 1, 1998 that it was written in a drunken stupor. By who? I don't know either. I tried checking my inbox if I kept anything from that date...nope. Then I realized that it could have been probably sent to the email address that I used to have. The problem is I don't know my username or password. Boo! And worse, it could have been the email address that all of a sudden I wasn't able to access. What do I do now? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! I guess I will never ever know. Unless of course for some strange twist of fate I printed it then and stuck it somewhere I will be able to find one day. But for now, I guess I am just left to wonder what was in it and if it could have changed the course of my life.

My Birthday plans so far...

subject to change, postponement and cancellation...

Birthday itself...

• work
• mass
• dinner with sis and cousins..where? no idea

Birthday weekend

• novena of Sto. Nino/meeting of AnTaclobanon
• invite from Chary and Xsty

I am turning 31. I am not ashamed to admit it nor shout it to the world. But shouldn't I have some thing like a "31 things I want to do on my birthday" or "31 things I want for my birthday" or "31 'something' for this year" type of thing to commemorate my birthday? I don't but its still early and I still have a few days to go. I can still come up with a list or something.

I do have a sort of "what I want for my birthday" list since people are asking for what I want. But I doubt it has 31 items on there. The items are not overly expensive or hard to find either. Contrary to what a lot of people think, I am pretty low maintenance. A greeting is even enough. But since , they ask then I have an answer =) and actually this also the list for me.

• Nikon D50 or D80
• I know this is a bit much but I can dream, cant I? I think I will save up for this and its going to be my gift to myself. I always gift myself on my birthday and who knows this could be it for this year.
  
• IPOD
  
• I don't know why I never got one for myself before. I think I belong to the 1% of the population who doesn't own one. I thought I just wanted a shuffle but my cousin said the track info isnt visible, so whats the point. I think a nano would work for me. I may have a big cd collection but I dont think I am going to upload everything.
• Lomography camera
• Skagen watch
• Roswell DVD Season 1-3 or Felicity Season 2-4
  
• Everwood Season 2-4 would have been better but its not available yet (why???)
  
• Chemistry cd - Refo(u)rm (a Japanese duo)
  
• Anything Tokidoki
• Anything Harajuku
  
• See a pattern there? I am going all Japanese LOL
• Make up (I am a make-up artist on the side, usually just my family members and they are not very few.)
• kit - a bigger train case. The one I have does not have enough room for all of my stuff
• brushes
• Benefit
• Some Kind-a Gorgeous
• Big Beautiful Eyes
• Hoolah
  
• Smashbox
• O-Glow
• Stila
• Eyeshadow in Kitten
• Gym bag ( I think I have to go back to the gym first)
• A gift certificate for a facial and massage with my facialist (Geez I sound so L.A. hahaha but I need one. Its been awhile.)
• ANYTHING!! Because I appreciate anything especially if I know that the giver put effort into it and knows that its something "perfect" for me.

and the best of all....

• Remembering. Just remembering is enough for me.

Indeed it was "Rock...Shock...& Awe"

It was my third time watching Bamboo and my second time of ParokyaNiEdgar but it still feels like the first time. The L.A. concert was sold out since the Monday before and good thing I was able to get our tickets with no problems. Tough the concert wasn't until 7PM, the doors open at 6PM but I heard that people started lining up as early as 1:30 that afternoon. AvalonHollywood was where it was held and I liked it there. It was big enough to fit all of their fans and more. I was told that it can hold up to a thousand. The stage was big enough and the lighting as well as sound were really good.

I went to the concert with my sister, cousin and friend. We all planned on meeting up early since it was a weekend and knowing how horrendous L.A. traffic can be especially the 101. But as all plans go, we didn't get to meet early as planned. We got there around 530 and there was already a long line, almost half a block long. Good thing, my friend Isy got there before we did so she was able to secure our spot in the line already. I think it was a good idea that while the people were all lined up, they already checked our IDs to identify those who were already legal to drink rather than wait when they were letting people go in. This way getting in was a breeze and hassle free. It was a bit dark going in that we had to navigate our way around to get to the floor near the stage. There was a table selling some concert merchandise. But no CDs though which was what I was hoping for. There were shirts and some I dont remember. Once inside, there was still a big space on the floor near the stage so we placed ourselves right away on what we thought was the best spot. It still was the best spot until we found out that it put us right below the giant speakers which proved to be a not so wise decision later on. By then, people have been filing in and with fear of losing a prime spot, we stayed, hoping and praying that we would be alright after.

The thing with watching concerts of Filipino artists is the high probability of seeing familiar faces. We may not know each other personally but the same faces have figured in other concerts before. This much I expected but not the sight of the five Caucasian guys right in the middle of an All-Filipino crowd. I was taken aback, I will admit and add to that when I caught a glimpse of what two of them were wearing. One had an "Ano Ka?" printed on his shirt and the other one which I found the most peculiar was the "Girls Scouts of the Philippines" on his shirt complete with the emblem. But I still wondered if they knew what they were in for. Still, it was nice though to see non-Filipinos appreciating our music. I thought that seeing them there was already a surprise, little did I know that I was in for a bigger one. When Bamboo came out, I think he sang if not "Truth", "I-You" I am not definite. (I am a bad fan!). They sang along. Nothing extraordinary there, the song was in English. But when they sang "Masaya" now this was a different story. The guys sang along in Tagalog with nary an accent. In fact I think they have better Filipino accents than some of those born outside of the Philippines. These drew stares from everyone within the immediate vicinity, including me and soon enough I think the news spread. We can't make comments like "ang tatangkad naman ng mga ito" anymore because we will be understood. The clincher though was when "Noypi" was sang. One of them hoisted his other friend on his shoulder and coaxed everyone to sing along to "hoy Pinoy ako, buo aking loob, me agimat ang dugo ko". Top that! =) As soon as Bamboo's set ended and the stage was being set up for PNE, girls swarmed to them to strike up a conversation and once again I was surprised to know that they were actually conversing with them in Tagalog...straight Tagalog, none of those Taglish ones that I myself is guilty of sometimes.

It was PNE's turn soon and as always theirs was a wacky and crazy set. I am not sure if they had a set playlist since the vocalist, Chito, was getting requests from the crowd and was singing pretty much everything that was thrown at them. He made some potshots about other people, other bands which were really funny but I wont repeat so as as not to incriminate Chito and the band. Funny how at one point he was speaking in English when he saw the five guys not knowing that they understood Tagalog pretty well. They even sang along to PNE songs as well even to a point of knowing the lyrics more than we did. Both bands were only supposed to sing a certain number of songs but PNE kept on playing until they were told that it was enough much to the delight of the crowd. But alas, some things do not last forever, and the concert ended after almost 3 hours. Not bad. But it seemed no one didn't want to leave just yet until these burly security guys started ushering us out of the place. Oh well!

If one needs proof of how much fun last Saturday's concert was, I have one..I don't have a voice. I am still hoarse from all the shouting and singing along that happened. Good thing its the only thing left that I have to deal with as of today because after the concert I could barely hear on my left ear. Being underneath those big speakers was the culprit. Until Sunday, I could hear a ringing sound which was starting to worry me but I woke up this morning feeling better. Its just my voice now. My throat isn't sore and all but I am barely audible and if I don't want to lose it more, I would have to lessen talking. But this is one small thing to deal with in exchange of the great time at the concert. Like what the poster said, indeed it was the "Ultimate Pinoy Rock Experience".

(Photos to follow)

I love Mondays!

warning: fangirl ahead

Okay I really don't like Mondays because its when I am really sleepy not being able to get enough sleep over the weekend. Its the start of the work week too so how can I look forward to Mondays? It used to be just one reason: WentworthMiller but now I have another reason to love Mondays...ApoloAntonOhno.

And what makes the second reason so much better? Its ApoloAntonOhno, weekly AND dancing.

Ever since the 2001 Olympics, I have been a fan of his and had to contend with the fact that I can only pretty much hear or read about him every four years. But not anymore. Truth is, I was shocked to know that he is part of Season4 DancingWithTheStars. When my shock had ebbed, it turned to excitement and I couldn't wait until March 19 since that was when the show would start.

I really didn't know what to expect. I know he is an awesome athlete but dancer? He is a skater after all so he wouldn't have much of a problem as far as being flexible is concerned. But can he dance? But whether he was a good or bad dancer really didn't matter to me. Being able to see him weekly was enough. He and his partner were the last one to dance and I must say he did really well considering he is practicing for speedskating and dancing at the same time. The judges liked his dancing and gave their team one of the 3 highest scores of the night. Not bad. He is also competing the same time that he is on the show. That is tough. What I noticed while he was dancing was he was smiling a lot. He looked like he was having so much fun out there considering this is probably out of his comfort zone. No complaints from me since he is so darn cute when he smiles. He also kept his "signature" headband though I don't know how he will be able to pull that off when it comes to the ballroom dances. I guess I would just have to wait and see. The "soul patch" is staying too. Oh did I mention he is so cute when he smiles.

I am not much of a fangirl who gushes at all the celebrities, male or female I admire. In those rare cases that I am its not like this. Its not to this level. I was gushing all night and I couldn't help but smile and ogle at the tv. Goodness, I am even embarrassed to say that but its true. While watching, I was exchanging text messages with my cousin and all I could talk about was ApoloAntonOhno or AAO as some forums have named him. Watching DWTS has been a family thing for us since last season. We all voted last season. This season is no exception so I voted through phone and of course I voted the maximum number (11) I could for AAO. I definitely have to do my share to keep him there week in and week out. With just 2 more episodes of PB left for the season which translates to only 2 more Wentworth, I have to make sure to keep the other reason why I love Mondays longer than that. Until the finals perhaps?

Its a surprise duh!

My birthday is 2 weeks away. People have been asking me what my plans are and honestly I don't have any. I don't know. Besides its nothing new since I don't usually make plans for my birthday. Or maybe I am hoping someone out there will make the plans for me. See, I have never been surprised. I haven't had a surprise done for me. Last Friday, my cousins sort of did but I wont count it since I already knew that they were doing it but just not including me. But come on, you don't "kidnap" someone who is turning a year past 3-0.

First, I will say that I appreciate what my cousins did for me. I am grateful that they took the time to plan and execute what they did. Their heart was in the right place but I guess I was just expecting or hoping for more. See, I knew they were doing it for my cousin C whose birthday was on the 6th. But I wasn't so clear about the details other than we, the cousins have to be at my aunt's house on Friday at 8pm. So I was there and frankly I didn't see the whole point of having it on a Friday when her birthday already passed and we have a party to prepare for that Saturday. But I went because I didn't want to be the "party pooper". My cousin C was in their living room while I was getting ready to eat when all of a sudden I heard some commotion and saw C being dragged outside, her head covered with a bonnet. Once she was out of the house, I turned my attention to my food when all of a sudden I saw another cousin coming at me with a bonnet in her hand and before I knew it, it was put over my head and I was dragged outside as well. I knew where we were headed since my aunt made mention of the plan to me (see, this is why it doesn't count) but I didn't say anything. I didnt want my cousins to feel bad. I was short of "manhandled" by my cousin as she brought me to the hotel room. Once there they pelted us with those smelly silly strings that stuck to my hair, made us blow out the candles from a homemade cake (it was good), gave us our "birthday buckets" (which included things that they found funny but I didnt - a book on exercising and a headband with a veil attached to it, like those worn by a bride-to-be on their bachelorette party) and we ate pizza, cheese since it was Friday. Pizza!!?? when I was so hungry and craving for the fried vegetable lumpia that was already soggy on my plate left at my aunt's house. Fine, I am not really enjoying this but whatever I was already there. I didn't think that we were going to stay long but my sister, the accomplice had brought my weekend bag there which meant that we were sleeping over. Okay when at the back of my mind, I had a list of things we need to do for the party the next day.

I thought my cousins had a good plan for us the birthday girls. But it didn't turn out that way and didn't seem like they did. After we ate, we, actually they watched some videos and I slept. I think it was just a reason for my cousins to have a sleepover when we could have done the very same thing, with much more things to do at someone's house. Not in this tiny room with 2 beds, close to 15 people inside, and kind of smells like pee. But I sucked it up even if I ended up cleaning after their mess. I was constantly picking up remnants of those silly strings before they dry up and cause damage to the room. I appreciate the "surprise" but I couldn't help but feel like a tag-along. Since the plan really didn't include me initially. Why I was at the last minute? I have no idea. I don't mean to whine and be a brat about it but if they were going to do something nice for me and C as a way of showing their appreciation for us, I sure didn't feel that way. I cleaned and didn't sleep comfortably. Instead of letting us have the beds all to ourselves, there were 4 of us on each one and C even ended up sleeping on the floor. But C and I toughened it up but we left as early as we could the next day. I really didn't gain much from it. I think my cousins did more than me. I also felt like I was just used as their excuse so they can sleep at a hotel room, use the swimming pool or be away from their parents. Oh well! Its done and over with. I really wasn't expecting something extravagant or grand but if the goal was to make me feel special well I felt anything but. I was just tired and felt yucky. If my future "surprises" will be similar to these, I take it back, I don't want to be surprised anymore. But thanks just the same.

Can I have some cake?

You Are Strawberry Cake

Fresh, sassy, and romantic. You're a total flirt, who never would turn down a sugary treat. Occasionally you're a bit moody - but you usually stay sweet!

What Kind of Cake Are You?

Wii crazy

I will be first to admit, I am not a big gamer. I even suck at DanceDanceRevolution, if that is even possible. In fact, my interaction with interactive games is probably less than .01%. The most time I had with games was probably at the height of the "brick game" or Tetris. Other than that, not a whole lot. So it is very surprising that I took a liking for the new Nintendo Wii. I have heard of it, who hasn't, but as with all the other consoles out there, I couldn't care less since I don't play much. But I was at my cousin's house, with nothing much to do and with the prodding of my cousin to try, I did. Actually, I think they just wanted another player or they didn't want me to just be staring at them. We played the Wii Sports - tennis and bowling. Here it is, in real life I also suck at both well more in tennis than in bowling. At least in bowling I have had my share of strikes. Tennis, on the other hand just doesn't love me. So it was exciting to be able to return a serve much more being able to deliver an "ace" and only get strikes and spares on bowling. None of those gutter ball ones. I got a 223 out of a perfect score of 300 in bowling. In real life that is not even a possibility. Getting a score of 150 is even good enough. Sure, my right arm hurt for probably two days after our "little" game. I am not surprised since it was probably the most exercise I've gotten in the past few months. My muscles got a shock. But it was worth it. It was a good source of exercise since my entire body was moving.

I have never bought a game or a console in my life unless its for a gift but I am actually thinking of buying one for my own. Its not that expensive too. Its a hot commodity right now with everyone clamoring to get hold of one. I know a lot of my relatives are. So it seems every relatives' house that we will go to there will be a Wii there. I am not rushing out though to buy it because (1) I don't have space in my room for one; (2) if I want to play I can always go to any of my cousin's house and I will be hitting two birds with one stone - be able to play and have some company. When I am living in my own house, then I will buy one but I think by the time that happens, something new is already out in the market. Oh well.

Last night, Wii was all we talked about. My cousin is not only buying one but he plans to organize like a "Wii party" or "Wii tournament" for us cousins come summer. It should be fun. Some friendly competition. We will see. Well for the meantime, they have to get hold first of a console before all these plans come true. Getting one is already a lot of trouble. Only a few gets released every week and to have the best chance of purchasing one, falling in line at 6 AM outside the stores would be it. Hmmm...no thanks for now.

A little bit rusty

After almost 10 years of not baking, I started baking again last night. From my previous posts, I have this "love-hate" relationship with red velvet cupcakes from Sprinkles. My first experience wasn't all that pleasing but my second one was. The shop is so far away from me so its going to be hard when I have one of those days that I am just craving for some cupcakes plus they don't come cheap ($13/4 cupcakes). I thought why don't I make this. So I searched for recipes online and I found one that has been tried and tasted at Dessert Comes First. I also went to as far as making the cream cheese frosting which is a good compliment to the cupcake.

Like I said, I haven't baked in over 10 years so I was a bit lost last night. I was also used to just using the hand mixer so my sister's Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer needed some getting used to. My sister who took up Hotel & Restaurant Management and went to baking school was giving me a hard time. We had all the ingredients except.. we didn't have enough of the red food coloring that the recipe asked for. We lacked another 1 ounce and no one wanted to go out to get some more, so what do we do? We improvised. We just put in an ounce and hoping that it would still be red velvet and not some pale looking thing. My OC-ness came to effect again because I don't know how many times I went over the recipe, making sure I didn't miss an ingredient or a procedure that could make my cupcakes a flop. Good thing, I got everything covered. It actually came out pretty good. It tasted good too that's what my relatives said. It wasn't over beaten. It was fluffy. It was moist. It smelled good and just had that hint of cocoa in it. Baked just right and best of all it was still red. I still have to taste what I made. For some reasons, I can't eat what I make right away. My only mistake was, I filled the muffin cups too much that it overflowed but it wasn't something that couldn't be remedied. I trimmed the extras away before putting in the frosting which came out good as well. (Pictures to follow)

I didn't think I would miss baking this much but I do. I think I will start baking again. I have been telling myself for a long time to bake again but just didn't get around to doing so until my aunt asked me if I knew how to when I was pointing out to my sister that the banana cupcakes she made was over beaten. My aunt didn't know that I baked, way before my sister went to school for it and now turned it into a business. Even in high school 6th grade even, I was already baking. Our parents anniversary is in May and in the Philippines that's summertime which means no school and therefore no allowance. We didn't have money to buy them presents, but we had ingredients readily available to us since we had a bakery back then. So, I would bake my parents a butter cake with butter cream icing and that was our present. It was always a hit.

Taking up culinary arts in college actually entered my mind but at that time, being a chef just wouldn't make the money. I also thought this is a hobby of mine that I love to do, I don't want to be doing this for a living. Before I knew it, I have stopped baking all together that is until last night. Last night's experience actually made me re-discover that passion for baking. I felt good especially after it came out well. Now I have a list of what I want to bake in the future.. cupcakes, cakes, creme brulee, panna cotta, anything and everything. I thought I was a bit rusty but I still got it and that makes me so happy.

The other side

If my dad was a "celebrity" then my siblings and I are his entourage. My brother, the chauffeur and my sister and I his social secretaries. LOL

Ever since he and my brother arrived we have been on the road pretty much all the time. Dinners here and there and meeting up relatives. Last weekend we went to Hayward CA which is near San Francisco but I didn't see a single beam or plank of the GoldenGateBridge. That is "must visit" when one finds themselves up north but we just didn't have the time. Besides, its not like its our first time up north so we have seen it numerous times before. I guess the trip to NorCal was not much for sightseeing but for cousin-seeing. I think we pretty much met up with almost everyone on Papa's side. Majority of those on my dad's side live in NorCal while my mom's side in SoCal. I feel bad that its just an hour plane ride away and yet its been ages since I was last there. But I think the four days that we were there could make up for all those times. We don't sleep until 2 or 3 AM and to think that get-togethers start at noon. What could we possibly be talking about during all that time? A lot actually. Each other's lives and other people's lives and its not the backstabbing kind, mind you, and the one thing I can discuss with Papa's side that I really don't get to with Mama's and that is politics. I think it helps that I share almost similar views about politics with them than my relatives on my mom's side. My father's side of the family is very political, our ancestors were into politics, I guess that why.

But one thing that I figured out from that four days and being in the company of my aunts and uncles there is that I can be myself. I can be totally myself, no censoring, no holding back of what I will say. I can state an opinion and be respected for it rather than get this unfavorable reaction just because I don't share the same view. I am very opinionated and will not make excuses for being one. But, I also know who to share it with and I respect people if they have a different opinion. Just don't flame me for being different and I wont do the same thing. I get that feeling with some people so rather than be pissed off I just don't say my piece, at least not out loud. But there, I can say it and whether they agree or not its taken and discussed in a non-judgemental way which is so nice.

I also felt like an adult like I've never felt before. Growing up, my siblings and I were told not to butt in when the "adults" are talking. And for some reasons, I carry that until now even when I am already an adult. There are times that even if I am sitting at the "adults" table, I still feel like this little kid with no voice or with one but not sure if it will be heard. But there, I sat with all the adults around the table and I had a voice, my own voice and the best part is they stop and listen to what I have to say.

Tell me of a family that only has nice things to say about each other and I will say that you must be joking. On my dad's side, we don't always have nice things to say about the others but for some reasons it feels to me that its not condescending or accusatory in any way. Its said in such a way that there is still compassion and understanding rather than a full on criticism. I am not saying everyone on my mom's side is like that but there are a few that are which for some reasons just contaminate a few which is a sad thing.

Don't get me wrong I love both sides of my family equally but having been exposed to one side for so long and all of a sudden being in the middle of the other one for a weekend, I cant help but see the difference. The difference is more of internal than external actually. I like who I was when I was there. I felt like I was the same one that I know, that I used to be. Not the silenced (by choice) or the restrained or the cautious one that I have become. Maybe when I find myself "losing" that side of me again, I just need to go up North and recapture it even for a weekend, even for a brief time. My aunt - a cousin of my dad who works at an airline, therefore has privileges, has offered to send my sister and I tickets to anywhere that we want to go. We just need to call her in advance. I might take advantage of such an offer when I feel "lost" again.

Connected and more

When Papa and Nicco's trip to the US was confirmed, Papa asked if I wanted a new phone. I really wasn't so keen because I didn't feel like paying for a new phone since the one I am using now is still working well plus its not included in my budget just yet. My sister though by hook or by crook wants a new phone so she got a Nokia N73 Music Edition one. At first I didn't think much about it, its just a phone but after our weekend trip to Vegas, I want one now. Its the coolest thing. Its light and according to my sister, it is able to get good signal which is important to me. She was tinkering with it over the weekend, the camera and stuff and I am really amazed. For that little thing, it was able to capture the following images.

These are pretty sharp considering it was taken with a camera phone. It has 3.2 MP and a zoom at that. It also has a 2GB memory. Plus, there's a lot of cute effects that can be added into the pictures. A lot of features definitely. This would really work well on times I go to concerts or shows and digicams are not allowed. Or on those days that something in my environment catches my eyes and I will be able to document it using this. Its a bit pricey. Pretty much almost the same price as the Nikon D40 that I also wanted. But I want this and since my cousin wants my current phone so much, she would be happy if I get a new one since it means she will be able to inherit the one I have. I still haven't made a final decision just yet but its leaning towards getting myself one. The problem will now be as to who will bring this over here? And who knows by the time someone does, this may have become obsolete. But I hope not.

Re-pack

Weather for Hayward, CA

52°F Clear Wind: N at 0 mph Humidity: 80%

Wed 59° | 40° Thu 63° | 43° Fri 66° | 42° Sat 67° | 43°

My dad, brother, sister and I are heading up to Hayward tomorrow to visit some relatives. I already packed my bag which I know I am going to be teased about. See, I can travel light but I cannot pack light. What is the difference? To me travelling light means being able to carry my baggage with no external help, with no complains and one bag. Packing light, on the other hand means having the most minimal number of clothing into that one bag. I am just lucky that I have learned the art of packing smart so regardless if its just a backpack, a gym bag or a big bag, I can pretty much fit a weekend's worth of clothing not to mention all the toiletries and shoes as well. Sure, its a little heavy but not too much that I wont be able to carry it on my own.

Being that the weather has been crazy lately and based on experience NorthernCalifornia weather is a lot cooler than SouthernCalifornia I packed clothes to keep me warm. But looking at the forecast, I may have to reconsider lest I want to be sweating like a pig. But then again, I also don't want to go unprepared in case the weather changes which is a big possibility. What then do I do? I guess I may have to bring clothes that I can layer which is much more flexible in erratic temperature much like what we have been having. But it means I would have to re-pack my bag. Argh!

Two Hours

Two hours was all the sleep I got or maybe even less.

So here I am at work just going through the day. My eyes hurt since they only got two hours of rest too from my contact lenses. My ophthalmologist would be very happy. Since Monday I have been coming to work early and I mean early - 7 AM. That is early since I used to come at 9 AM and I would still be late. When I used to be late before, now I am here before everyone else in our building arrive. I am working on an extra project for my boss and I can only do it at these early hours. I really don't mind. Better this than working into the night. I actually like coming to work before everyone else does. I don't have phone calls or questions from people to distract me. Downside is I am usually out of light for an hour since our lights are on timer and it doesn't turn on until 8 AM. Good thing my office is by a window.

I may just have had two hours of sleep and my eyes hurt but its fine because Papa and Nicco are here. Days before, people were telling me not to cry. I know I couldn't promise that since I am a sucker for "airport scenes" were people see each other after being apart and its seen on their faces how happy they are. And the amount of time that I haven't seen either one I think merits some waterworks from me. But that didn't happen because, well we didn't have the time to be all melancholic and sentimental. Usually this happens when we have spent a good amount of time sitting by the arrival area waiting for whoever it is that we are picking up. We have gotten used to waiting that we took our sweet time. The estimated arrival was 625 PM which means that we will leave the house by then so by the time we got there, the plane had landed and the passengers have disembarked. I brought along sustenance - food and drinks, anticipating the waiting. But this did not happen since as we were just about to take the exit to the airport, Nicco already sent a text message to my sister that they are already there. What?? Its just 7 PM. We figured they still have immigration and customs to deal with so we were just right on time. Nope, we were not. We were late because they have already been cleared by Customs too. They were waiting by the curbside for us. No chance for waterworks to even ebb. As soon as we found a spot in front of Papa and Nicco, hugged them and put their baggage into the car, we went home. That swift. And Mama was getting worried back home about them.

That was just the second on the string of luck Papa and Nicco got. While they were still at the airport in Manila, waiting to board the plane, Papa was informed that they have been upgraded to Mabuhay Class. Reasons we still don't know until now but nevertheless thankful. Since Papa travels extensively all over the Philippines for work, he has raked enough miles to be an Elite member so one of his perks was that his baggage are labeled "priority" so we kind of figured maybe this was the basis too why they were upgraded. Lucky them. I guess PAL can be forgiven for being late every so often if they treat their frequent fliers like this. Upgraded or not, I am just so happy and excited to have them here.

Two hours of sleep and I am surprised that I am still able to write a coherent post. This is just the start. I don't know how much or how less sleep I would be able to get in the next few days.

Happy pills

So many things are making me happy nowadays. It started over the weekend when after some time I had a chance to have a day all by myself again. I wasn't depressed. I wasn't lonely. Sure I was by my lonesome but I didn't feel lonely at all. Besides, its not like this is the first time. I never had a problem with doing a lot of things on my own. Sure, it would be nice to have some company but if company is nowhere, I am not going to let it stop me.

Saturday

• I finally finished folding all my clothes and not only that I actually arranged my closet and drawers.
• Heard the Filipino mass with cousins and met up with more relatives there.
• Had a nice meal of chicken adobo and interesting conversation with relatives.

Sunday

• Slept in since I already heard mass
• It was a warm, sunny day in the middle of winter and was too pretty to waste staying indoors. So...
  
• I decided to spend the day at the mall. I really had no definite agenda but just to be outside. Sure I was still indoors but at least it wasn't inside a cold house.
  
• Had lunch at CPK (Sesame chicken dumplings and Chinese Chicken salad) and was surprised to see that I wasn't charged my drink.
• Watched a movie "Because I Said So"

The movie was just what I needed. It was funny, romantic, heartwarming and poignant. It made me laugh. It may be a chick flick but I think the few guys who watched it enjoyed it too since their laughter resonated all around the theater. I liked it and most of all it made me appreciate my mom so much more. My appreciation of Mama deserves a separate post.

• I bought two pairs of shoes - a brown and a tan one.
  

Early into my day, I already bought a brown pair since I don't have much brown shoes (yeah, yeah I am rationalizing) but then just before I went inside the theater I peeked into a shoe store and I saw a pair of tan shoes. I have been looking for a pair of tan shoes but I couldn't find any that I really liked until today. They had it in my size. It was just the right fit, the right style, the right height, a wedge heel that I wanted. But, I was conflicted since I felt it was a bit much to buy two pairs in one day. I decided to hold off on buying it and went into the theater. But I knew I was in trouble when as the movie was starting my mind was floating somewhere else...yup, to the pair of tan shoes. It was bad. So what did I do after the movie? I went back to the shoe store, asked to try the pair once again and ended up buying the shoes. I went home happy. Three days had passed and I am still happy about my purchase. Not even discovering that the blouse I got on sale had a hole in it could dampen my spirits. I will just think of a creative way to fix the problem since I cannot return or exchange it anymore.

Monday and Tuesday were stress-free days at work which was better than fine to me.

And today...

My Dad and brother are arriving tonight from the Philippines. YAY!!! I haven't seen Papa in 5 years and I haven't seen Nicco in 9 years. I am ready for the late nights ahead. Plus, we are planning a long drive to the Bay Area to visit our relatives on Papa's side. It would have been the best thing if Mama and Camille are here too. But, Camille has her thesis to finish and knowing her, she would make us all feel bad if she was left alone. So, Mama is staying with her for an entire month. I can't wait for my "pasalubongs" but most of all I cannot wait to see Papa and Nicco after a long time.

Tokidoki

First it was Hello Kitty and Friends

then Barbie dolls

next was Tweety Bird

following that was Pucca & Garu

and now

TOKIDOKI!!

I saw some stuff with Tokidoki characters at the mall yesterday and I found them so cute. The bag from LeSportsac looked really nice but I know its expensive. I am not so much about buying the bag. Maybe some other stuff as long as its Tokidoki.

Can this quiz be right?

What Your Dreams Mean...

Your dreams seem to show that you're a bit disturbed... but nothing serious. You may have a problem you're trying to work out in your sleep. Overall, you are very content in your life. Your dreams indicate that you have very conflicted feelings. You have a very vivid imagination and a rich creative mind. You secretly want to hide your dreams from your waking mind.

What Do Your Dreams Mean?

Mere hours after posting the entry before this, I found this from blogthings. It really doesn't answer my questions nor does it give clarity to my confusion. Or should I even believe this? It does hit the spot on some areas. Hmmm...

Dream state

I mentioned in a post of mine last year that I visualize a lot. I don't think I dream but I know visualize. But lately, I am positive that I am not visualizing but dreaming. My visualizations are initiated by me. Usually before I go to sleep, I concoct this story in my mind which helps me fall asleep but lately I am in no need for those. I have been too tired that I instantly fall asleep as soon as my back hits my bed. But, for the past few days, I have been waking up totally bewildered.

It is a fact that people dream a lot in the course of their entire sleep. We remember those dreams wherein we wake up in the middle of it. That is what has been happening to me. When I wake up, I usually ask myself "what the heck was that?". Frankly, it is a big surprise to me. This has not happened to me before. Some are a little bit odd: Grecian outfits, sun that looks like a big orange ball that wont set, being chased by men with knives, etc. Some are normal: familiar places, on a vacation, attending a wedding, etc. In some instances, the details are blurry, in black & white but there are times like this morning where its is so vivid and in color. But though they have been of different scenarios, the cast of characters, if one can call it that, are pretty much the same, with one person recurring more than the others.

I don't understand why it is making me think about it this much. I guess because it has been happening almost daily which is making me not really uncomfortable but just puzzled. Dreams are sometimes manifestations of current events, wishes and desires. They are also sometimes our subconscious or unconscious way of telling us something. If that is the case, I wonder what my subconscious or unconscious is telling me.

Things that make one go "hmmm"

After my excitement about my uncle's proposal yesterday, it was eerie to find this in my inbox: My horoscope for today.

Wednesday, January 24:

You've got enough energy to power a city, so now the question is, what are you going to do with it all? Why, anything you darned well please, of course! A million things catch (and keep) your fancy these days.

It was made even more eerie by the fact that things are starting to fall into place today. My cousin was contacted by a friend of a friend who happens to live near the area that was proposed. It turned out they are fans of the said movie. Plus we may be able to get them as sponsors too.

All of our creative juices are just pouring in . The last time I felt like this was when we were planning for my Lola's 85th birthday last August. There were problems here and there but it all turned out so well in the end. I think it was a test that I had to go through if I have what it takes to make the cut. I think I did fine or more than fine plus I had my cousins support which helped a lot.

My horoscope said about "a million things catch (and keep) my fancy". Its right. Aside from really being excited about what my uncle has proposed. My cousins, sister and I want to go into event planning as well. This has always interested me but I wasn't so sure if I can do it until I got experience planning Lola's birthday and Ate Joelle telling me that "if I survived planning a family party, I can organize a party." With a morale boost like that how can a person question still? Our list of vendors is growing. So far we have 2 venues, a DJ, a flower supplier, a place to buy party things from, a baker. I am in the process of getting the contact information of the photographer and videographer that my cousin used for his wedding.

We will see what happens next. =)

So exciting!!

I just got off the phone with my uncle and I just had to shout with glee with what he proposed to me. I cannot say the details yet but it involves what was considered one of the best Filipino films for 2006. He said I would have to work. I already have a packed schedule as it is but this is one opportunity I cannot turn down. I already shouted with happiness when he mentioned the film without him asking if I would want to have an active part in marketing it. What more if he is going to give me an incentive by working on it. He even proposed to give me half of what he is going to earn. Call me crazy but I was actually about to tell him he didn't have to. Frankly, earning from it didn't even register in my mind. I just want to be part of it. But if he insists then I would gladly accept it. The proposed date and venue is making me a bit apprehensive though but I think its workable. So I hope the details are ironed out soon so I, along with some cousins can start working on it.

This and that

When I woke up today I had all the intentions of going to the gym. Stress on the "intentions". I didn't say the execution. I got my gym bag ready and all but at the last minute I decided not to go and just do my chores instead. Plus, I really didn't feel like going alone. My sister and cousin had to go somewhere. I couldn't contact my other cousin to ask if she was going. I really should go back to the gym. I stopped going when December rolled in. Too many things to do, so little time and the first that I had to sacrifice was going to the gym. Wrong choice but had to. But that is done and over with, just have to get back to it. I have to. I need to. I am starting to feel lethargic and its not helping me at all.

********************

The weather has been so erratic of late that I have been feeling sick. I have been sneezing and sneezing and I am always cold. I am not a fan of heaters but we have too. In fact even with the heaters turned on, I still have 3 blankets to keep me warm. The weather has been crazy. So crazy that it snowed in Malibu of all places. Snow in Malibu?! A place known for its sunny weather and beaches. It also snowed in Westwood which is right in the city. As a friend of mine said, "Al Gore must be snickering somewhere". I don't think people really paid attention when he said that global warming is getting worse and worse. Now he doesn't even need to open his mouth because I think people already get the message but the question still remains, "what do we do about it?"

********************

I found myself near Sprinkles Cupcakes again this week and I couldn't be happier. I just had to buy a box of 4 cupcakes. Its costly but its good. I wasn't really that blown away by my first try but I was willing to give it another chance and good thing I did. I once again ordered 4 of different flavors: red velvet, banana, carrot and coconut. My aunt and I shared them. I tasted the red velvet before but I wasn't impressed but its the most popular flavor so I was going to give it another chance and maybe this time my experience would be a positive one. Yes, it was. The frosting wasn't too sweet and the cupcake wasn't too dry. It was just right. I liked the carrot and you can tell that they used real carrots because there were actually strips of it. The cinnamon cream cheese frosting that came with it really complimented the cupcake. We still have to try the coconut. What about the banana, you may wonder. I had to save it for last. Red velvet is the most popular but wouldn't say my favorite. But the banana..WOW! I LOVED it! Its my favorite. I almost regretted sharing it with my aunt. LOL I also regret buying just one. But at least now I know the days it is featured: Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays. I have to keep that in mind. The cupcake was just enough. Not too dry and not too moist either. I don't like moist banana cakes. This was my comment when my sister baked some banana cakes a few weeks ago. The creamy vanilla frosting was so good and went well with the cupcake. It would have been more perfect had there been walnuts in it but sigh I guess I cannot have everything.

********************

After numerous plans but always not pushing with it, my aunt and I are finally watching the Smuckers: StarsOnIce show today. I am really a big fan of iceskating. I don't do it but I love watching it. Its the only WinterOlympic event that I watch. Tonight I will get to see in person and perform the athletes that I have admired for a long time. Bonus is EkaterinaGordeeva and IliaKulik will be performing tonight. Though they are part of the cast, they will only be performing in select cities and Anaheim would be one of them. I really hope we have good seats. I did chose "best available seats" when I bought the tickets online. Downside is "no flash photography allowed". I am debating whether I should still bring my camera. Not to use it during the performances but who knows after. But I worry that it might delay us getting to our seats. I have seen times wherein cameras are checked in before the performance and retrieved after. I don't want to go through that hassle. But I am definitely bringing binoculars. I hope I remember where I kept it. I am so excited for tonight.

********************

As if my excitement couldn't get any better, tour dates for the US Tour of Bamboo and Parokya.Ni.Edgar have been released. Imagine two of the most popular and great Filipino bands in one concert. It has been dubbed as "The Ultimate Pinoy Rock Experience". Indeed it is. They will be in L.A. on March 17 at the Avalon Hollywood. If that isn't good news enough, their US tour will have two parts: March and October. I already checked my schedule. I am free that day and even if I wasn't I would make a point to make sure that I am. Good thing our monthly meeting doesn't fall on that day. Now if my cousin will be able to contact a friend of his who is one of the members of Bamboo in time it will be an even greater experience.

********************

There is one Korean Show that I really enjoy watching. Never mind that I am watching it without subtitles. Its called HappyTogetherFriends. (Not able to find an English website of the show.) The premise of the show is for two popular celebrities to correctly identify long-lost friends. The guests are initially behind closed doors with only pictures of them when they were younger shown to the audience. After some introductions, usually tidbits about them when they were young are revealed, they are allowed to go out to the stage. On one side of the stage is a group of people who were the guests' friends from way back. To make it more fun, random people are mixed into the group of former friends and these are people they haven't seen in ages. Most of them I think were classmates in elementary. The guests have to go up to who they think is a friend of theirs and ask the question "friends?" and and if that person is a friend he/she replies "glad to see you". Usually I think each guest has four friends each. Whoever is able to correctly identify the four friends, he or she along with the friends get to have dinner courtesy of the show to catch up on each other's lives. Keep in mind I know nil of the Korean language so I can only speculate what is going on and sometimes make up my own theories. Who knows if it is even near what is right. But I have never laughed so much in my life when I watch this show. Its funny when the guest incorrectly identifies the person as a friend and they either cant believe it or are so embarrassed. Oh if after four times that they are not able to identify a friend, the guest goes through this almost like a moving sidewalk and he/she passes through a group of people that includes the friend and random people. This group shouts out stuffs to the guests and he/she tries to identify once again which one of them is his/her friend.

I think its a good premise for a show to allow these guests to reconnect with friends they haven't seen in a long time. I don't know if I will have the same hard time as these guests experienced but we have to realize that people change whether in appearance or personality. Our friends can surprise us a whole lot especially if years has stretched between us. But since I have pretty much kept in touch with majority of my close friends, I don't need a show like this. However, I think it would still be fun to reconnect with friends that we haven't seen for a long time at all. I know I have a couple of them. But since an opportunity like this hasn't been opened to me at least I have this show to entertain me for the time being. Bonus is, one of the Korean actresses that I admire, Eugene is the new host of this show. So I really cannot wait to watch it again.

Worrying over nothing

Who was I kidding?

Vegas was cold and it was a good thing that I checked the weather before we left so I was able to make sure that I brought enough warm clothes. The drive to Vegas was surprisingly smooth. No traffic at all which allowed us to get there in 4 hours which is ideally what the whole drive is supposed to be. But since we left at 8PM, it was midnight when we got there and left with no choice but to sleep. We had an early start the next day.

My trip to Vegas this time was so much different from my previous ones. While my previous trips were more for relaxation and sans agenda, this time around its the opposite. We had a full day schedule to follow from 9AM to until we finish which was around 6PM with breaks only for lunch.

I learned a lot from the strategic planning. It is quite unique for an association of this kind to have such an activity. It makes it so professional that the officers and members are pretty much expected to be the same. I think its a good exercise so that all the officers are moving in one direction and goals are uniform. Though we didn't have a quorum since other officers had prior commitments I think we accomplished a lot as far as our plans for this year is concerned.

Part of the day's activities was a sharing of our personal motivations and organizational expectations. Even if its been a year since I was elected I still had apprehensions and anxieties whether I can do this. Don't get me wrong, I like being part of this association and I feel and believe that I have something to contribute. However, being a newbie and the youngest, I am not sure if I have a big enough voice to be heard. I expressed this during that time and I got assurance that it wont be the case. Our parliamentarian, Mano Karlo summed it well when he said that I shouldn't worry because isn't it a fact that when the "baby" cries it gets everyone's attention. That got me thinking and was a big relief to me. Oh they laughed at the fact that my emails to them have "mano" and "mana" before their names. Its a term of respect in our dialect and though it may seem like we are all equals here, my parents taught me better not to disrespect those older than I am. Its a habit that is hard to break nor do I have plans of breaking.

As secretary, I am in charge of membership and our goal now is to make use of technology to be able to reach out to more people, especially the younger ones. We have seen a surge of visits to the website and we want to use that to its full potential. In time a downloadable membership form will be available through the website.

I don't know if I am good enough representative for the younger ones but I think I was able to express our hesitations as far as having an active part in the association is concerned. I just am glad that the An Taclobanon does not only welcome this but is also appreciative of this. In fact they have been hoping for a long time now that the younger ones would take part. You seldom see this in associations that have been existing for as long as the An Taclobanon has which has been for 21 years now. There have been and still is skeptics out there. There are still negative responses and reactions out there. There are different factions out there who want to break the association apart. There have been problems here and there. It is expected especially if not everyone share the same vision and mission regardless if you come from the same place and some are only there for their self interests. It cannot be helped but the important thing is not allowing these things to break us nor succumbing to them.

At the end of the day much like me worrying over the declining temperature, my apprehensions were eased by the meeting and getting to know my fellow officers. Yes, it was cold but I came prepared so it didn't bother me.

Low of 23!!!

Weather for Las Vegas, NV

37°F Mostly Cloudy Wind: NW at 17 mph Humidity: 38%

Fri 45° | 28° Sat 41° | 23° Sun 41° | 27° Mon 45° | 29°

Oh my!

My bag is packed and I am hoping beyond hope that I packed enough warm clothes to be able to survive this weekend. I am not a big fan of cold weather having been born and raised all my life in a tropical country. Its been awhile since I have been living in SoCal and I am still not used to the cold weather that much. The temperature I think I can handle but its the wind factor that is making me a bit worried. Sure, we will be staying indoors for most of the time but still.

I am going to Vegas this weekend (leaving Friday, coming back Sunday) for the An Taclobanon Strategic Planning. Its my first time not going with relatives or with close friends. I am going with the other officers and though they are my friends as well and some are even relatives still it will be a new experience for me. I hope my brain doesn't freeze from the cold since we would be discussing and finalizing our plans for the year ahead and with almost 300 plus members whose interests we would be bringing along, its going to be a big challenge. This year is going to be challenging especially for me since this is my first time handling and being part of such a big association. My only other experience being an officer of an organization was still back in high school and that has been a long time ago. I can only do my best.

Due to my involvement with the association, my schedule for the year has been pretty much mapped out. I have meetings once a month, Sto. Nino novenas from January until June, fiesta celebration in June, camping in July, Ms. An Maglipayon event in November. On top of that we have this ongoing fundraising raffle which will end in June. These are just the major ones. We will deal with the minor ones as they come along. Phew!

I think this year would be my opportunity to venture out of my "bubble". For the past few years all my free time have been devoted to family - members, matters etc. This year, I want to go out there, go out of myself and be of actual use not only to other people but to society as a whole. Odd thing, my horoscope overview for the year actually mentioned something along these lines. Not that I let horoscope rule my life but at least its some inspiration to be hopeful for the year ahead. I realized that going outside my "box" is keeping me sane from the turmoils that plague life from time to time. It is actually giving me a sense of peace that I unknowingly have been looking for but didn't know how to achieve.

But before I could tackle on the world, I have to survive this weekend. Hopefully, Old Father Winter will be so kind and ease up a bit on the cold temperatures. Though it would be nice to see snow fall for the first time, just ease up on the wind chill and I think I will do fine. That and just come prepared to face it head on. Thick sweaters? Check. Scarves? Check. Gloves? Check. Warm jacket? Check.

2053 days

When you have gotten used to waiting, another day doesn't hurt!

I though this day would never come. I have stopped counting the days because it just made me go insane. When I have finally let go of counting, that's when this big blessing came, a few days before Thanksgiving at that.

My journey isn't over yet though. In fact its the start of a new one but my patience has been tested and I passed it with flying colors. I am sure that the next few days, weeks, months or maybe year will just be another day.

Wish list

I think I can be the easiest and hardest person to buy a present for. Well for one when people ask me what I want, my usual reply is "it doesn't matter", or "nothing in particular". I know how frustrating that can be because I feel the same way when I get the same answer. But I cannot help it. I just do not want to impose on anyone and its the truth anyway, I will take anything as long as I know it came from the heart. Besides whatever it is becomes secondary when you realize that the person really thought it through before getting me anything. Nothing makes receiving a gift sweeter when the giver says "I thought of you when I saw this, so I got it." I am particularly fond of this one gift that someone gave me. Its a hardcover journal - black with white blank pages. Nothing extraordinary but the note that came with it made it nicer - the giver saw it one random day, thought of me and got it. Same thing when I saw my cousin Chantal wearing this Asian print shirt. I liked it. I asked her where she got it and she told me that she actually bought it for me but she wore it instead because it looked nice. I could have been bummed by that but I wasn't because the point is, she was at a store, saw the shirt and thought of me, bought it with intentions of giving it to me when there was no occasion. Besides, its not like I wont be able to borrow it when her closet is an extension of mine and vice versa.

Be that I usually say "nothing in particular" when asked, it doesn't mean that I really want nothing in particular. Sure I do but its not directed to any particular person. Its usually just for me, my list for what I would get for myself eventually. But if a kind soul out there would get it for me then I would be grateful. =)

So what do I want hopefully for this Christmas or for the coming year?


Skagen watch
I saw this at the mall and fell "in love" with it. Its a bit pricey for a watch, at least with what I usually buy but I tried it on and I want it. It could be my Christmas/birthday present for myself.

lomographic action sampler camera
I like photography and would like to dabble on it. But since I don't have the same "eye" for it like my sister, Camille does, I think lomography will be a good alternative. Its more "pop art-ish". But I will give a verdict when I actually get hold of one and try it myself.


Colehaan Village Lunch tote

I have wanted this for the longest time ever since I saw it in a magazine. I think its one of those classic designs that wont go out of style. What I like about it is that sure its a brand name but its not the "screaming" kind. Plus the best part of it is its roomy enough for all of my stuff. I have this tendency to fill up my bags whether small or big.

an Ipod

I think I belong to the 1% of the population that doesnt own this thing yet. I dont care be it a shuffle, nano or how many GB is there, I just want one. It would come handy during travel when reading isnt an option unless I want to suffer motion sickness. Kuya Miles mentioned that the thing now in Manila during parties is not to get a DJ but to just have 2 Ipods and a mixer and anyone can be their own DJ. That is cool.

And of course to travel...somewhere..anywhere. Well almost anywhere...not in the war zones of course.

Aside from the material things, I also wish for world peace, a clean and honest 2007 elections, peace in the family, more self-less politicians and since my sister is an Environmental Science major - do our part in repairing the world that we live in. Basta..love, peace and happiness.

Drawing from a hat

I have so many things to blog about but I don't have much free time of late so I guess this will do for now.

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Two days ago, rashes started appearing on my face. Well, a week ago some red spots appeared on my neck. Since it wasn't itchy and I didn't have red spots in other parts of my body, I didn't concern myself much with it. Until two days ago when my face had red rashes all over it. They were not itchy too so maybe I just ate something that I may be allergic to, I took some anti-histamine which made me drowsy but the rashes are still there. Today, I had Dr. C look at it and he told me to have my CBC checked because it might be something viral, whatever that means. He advised me not to take a hot shower because it will trigger the rashes to flare up. Yeah, tell me that when its starting to feel like winter. So I have to contend myself with a warm shower. Hay! These rashes had to show up now when I have an event to go to over the weekend.

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Saturday is the Induction of new officers of the An.Taclobanon. After Saturday, I am now the secretary of the association thus assuming a ton of responsibilities but its okay. I feel I am in good company and a friend said that I could not fail this. I am just going to give it my best shot. Last weekend, I helped collate the souvenir program and was quite surprised to see my name mentioned prominently in the incoming Chairman of the Board's message. It seems I have become the unofficial "poster child" of future youth involvement in the association. That's a lot of responsibilities. I also saw something I have never been referred to as until now.. and that is to be introduced with my full name. When I mean full name its my first, middle and last name all spelled out in one breath. Had I been married and took my married name that's four names right there.

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Dr. C said a possible reason also of my rashes is stress and he is probably right. Work and family stress are just coming in droves and I don't know what needs to be done in order to address all of them before I start losing my mind. I need a vacation badly but my resources are low and I have nowhere to go. Gee, I can still rhyme even in this state. But I know I have to go somewhere and with no family members in tow. My most recent trips have been with family members and not that I don't want to be with them but from time to time, we all need a rest from family. I just want to rest and take a breather...if possible on my own or anyone as long as not a family member.

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It looks like I wont be going to the gym until Saturday. I didn't think I would be this motivated to go to the gym daily but I have been. I used to look at my friends who go daily as if they grew another head but here I am going as often as 5 times a week. Big motivators have been going there with cousins and the comments of people that I have lost weight. Gone are the teasing from family members about it and in place are praises. Not that the teasings really bothered me but I am also doing this for myself and to be validated for that, feels good. But this week, I didn't go partly because I am not feeling all too well and I have been staying at work longer than usual. But I am not going to miss yoga class on Saturday though. I don't have to be at the hotel for the induction until 4 PM so that gives me a lot of time to go to the gym and get ready.

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I am such a nice sister for forgetting to greet my brother on his birthday. Good thing my sister reminded me just in time. So I was able to greet him before the day changed in the Philippines. I know my brother understands though. Happy Birthday Niccolo!!!

Not a preview

I am hoping beyond hope that the events from this morning were not a preview of what my weekend would be.

First was the dream I had. It wasn't bad but it wasn't all good either, it was just weird. I would usually try to analyze my dreams whatever I could remember but this time I didn't even dare try because it just left be puzzled and confused why of all things would I have the kind of dream I just had. I don't even want to try to remember whatever it is because its just weirding me out.

Then on my way to work, the bus I was riding in hit the car before us. We were not only stuck there for some minutes, we were in the middle lane too and we had to fill this paper out much like an incident report. I didn't have much to say anyway since all I heard was the sound of the impact, felt a bit of the impact and nothing else. No one was hurt either. This accident made me late for work though.

Then I thought it can be redeemed when I saw that my siblings were online but my sister blasted me for stating an observation. She said that I am always criticizing when I was merely saying a comment. Apparently I not only cannot have an opinion (based on past incidents), I cannot have an observation as well. It pissed me off and didn't feel like chatting with her anymore. That pretty much ruined my morning. Geez!

I really do hope that was the last of it because I am really looking forward to the show/concert I am watching tonight, the yoga class tomorrow morning and I am doing the make-up of my two cousins for their dance on Sunday. I really need a quiet weekend for a change.

Disturbing

I don't know if I have just been out of school for far too long and these are the signs of the times or there is just something seriously wrong with the educational system that my cousin is under.

I got a call again yesterday from my aunt double checking if she got the spelling of the word "tranquilize" right. Yes, I am not only my family's resident editor of written works but the spell checker, dictionary, encyclopedia and thesaurus as well. Anyway, I spelled it for her and she got it right then she asked what the proper use of the word would be - if its present or past tense. I told her depends on the sentence. She gave me the sentence - "Next is to tranquilize the elephant". I told her it was "tranquilize". Then as it sunk in, it bothered me what my 2nd grader cousin's homework was about. It turned that they were told to write a step-by-step direction on "how to capture a wild elephant". I was shocked. Why the heck would the teacher assign such a thing? Instead of a direction on how to capture an elephant, shouldn't it be about preserving them especially now that a lot of animals are going extinct. I told my aunt to end it at "putting the elephant into a truck to be taken to the zoo" after that horrific step. It bothered me so much that I had trouble sleeping.

Granted that it has been ages ago since I was a 2nd grader myself but I certainly do not remember having such an assignment. If for anything it was about how life came about with that monggo seed that we had to plant in a tiny plastic cup and see its progress on a daily basis. We were not taught on how to"capture animals". We were taught on how to take care of animals and other living things. Sometimes, I wonder what lessons children nowadays are being exposed to. Its bad enough that the world is already chaotic and violent, why teach them almost the same thing in school? And we wonder why children nowadays are the way they are. Blame has been put on movies, tv shows and video games with the proliferation of violence among the youth and little did we know that it started in school...at such a young age.

I am just wondering what it would be like when my own kids go to school. What would teachers be teaching them by then? I used to think that maybe the educational system in the Philippines can be better but looking back now maybe I had it good than what my cousins are exposed to in what is supposed to be a rich country. If due to circumstances, my future children will be exposed to these types of lessons I think I would be the loudest one there to decry such teachings. Teachers may hate me but I don't think its right to be paying as much tuition as parents already are for our kids to be taught to be violent to animals. Animals now, who's next?